Vision in Numbers, View 1: Why

[143]

I remember

A teaspoon of joy in the sink of life
Playing in the backwaters of recognition
Thinking that the "Super Friends" was worth more effort to be on time than school
This time served
These moments back then creating now
Open awareness to who I should value

You became my lucky quarter
I couldn't get through the day without your glimpse
King of wants and needs
You provided me with my personal Silk Road to get high on your ways
Let the sun be jealous of me staying inside
I knew that I was going to be like you one day
I wanted to fill shoes you hadn't even wore yet
Studied your gaze
Raised on your exhales

This teaspoon becomes a spatula
Serving time now knowing shadowed truths you hid from me
Didn't want to tell me that my pants were ripped in the crotch to keep me from humiliation
But I notice subtle breezes
Found remnants of lines
Indentation of control that seized the day and my future
Withheld evidence for reasons not warranted or subpoenaed

I am a refugee from a future you deemed to don on me
Rather than the dreams you told me to touch
You slap my hand and regurgitate the actions your boss bestowed on you
Knew my path was unconventional yet effective
Which were words in your vocabulary you couldn't fathom
Speechless and bewildered I ask "Why?"
You tore the longevity from me
Made me a fighter when I wanted love
Blasted my creativity for grittiness
Sanded the rustic tones to smoothed chords of your harmony

I hold a pitcher of resentment for you..

Why

[143]

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...=1#post8721311

[Emily]

143, I like the abstract way you go about things when you write.
Not conventional, you flip it and give it a new spin with a fresh outcome.
I love reading something that I’ve never heard worded a certain way.
I like the admiration that’s evident and on show in the first and second stanza,
likening the person to a lucky quarter and taking about how they fulfilled your ‘wants and needs’
But to be honest it’s that ‘sun’ sentence that really stands out to me here. I like the imagery it evokes.
There also are certain terms like…’Raised on your exhales’ that are simply pure and are so kind to the imagination, they work really well in this piece. I get an atmosphere of a cosy, cushioned child that’s absorbing the home-spun safety net around him.
And then it all turns, like the lights suddenly switched on and things were clearer.
I guess you grew up. Read between the lines. Discovered. Found out, and fell a little in the process.
I like the way you said ‘Serving time now knowing shadowed truths you hid from me…’
I don’t know, I could say that you’re talking about a maternal figure, or that she remarried and
you got tossed aside, or that you were too protected and then got forced out into life...or it could be a lover that... ‘Made me a fighter when I wanted love’…‘Blasted my creativity for grittiness’…
‘Sanded the rustic tones to smoothed chords of your harmony’, all draw a picture for me that shows
you quite a bit down on the ‘list of love’ when you were always first. And what’s left is resentment and a lonely question of why.
I like this poem 143. It makes me think of my actions and the outcomes of them.
The consequences of love.
I can connect with both sides in this tale. Unfortunately. And I’ve come out asking the same thing…Why?
Thank you for making me feel the love, the melancholy, and the wool over my eyes.

Great Read.

[Tempest]

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