*posted under a different name, Memoir.
*posted under a different name, Memoir.
Last edited by unadored; July 16th, 2014 at 11:36 AM Reason: posted under new name for more feedback
never thought you'd miss the blueprints in my eyes.
s c y t s o p h r e n i a
Very deep my friend, very deep indeed. The emotion in this piece was haywire. Could definently tell this was a person written bro. Wording was well put, almost carried a dark 60's vibe. Like some Jim Morrison poetry. There wasn't a single line IMO that fell off from the rest. You treated this poem like a true Shepard. The last two stanzas were my favorite. Really ended this on a tearful note. Great poem bro, nom'd.
Thank you friend.
I had an open heart when writing this and I'm please to release it.
never thought you'd miss the blueprints in my eyes.
s c y t s o p h r e n i a
Your open heart approach is very evident. The emotional depth in this is appreciated. Giving me and the rest of the readers an insight into what you are thoroughly feeling. It read real smooth and I'm glad, I didn't find anything that took away from the emotional content. (the smooth flow I consider a bonus)
stuck out the most to me, and I know I've felt that before. This is a beautiful dance to a very sad song and it all mixed very well together. I enjoyed this thoroughly and appreciate that you shared this part of yourself with us. Thank you.each year brings comfort
that his name shall never force your lips
yet, selfish as I am
I wish you here to whisper mine.
Thank you friend.
never thought you'd miss the blueprints in my eyes.
s c y t s o p h r e n i a
Damn this was emotional, could tell it came from the heart and was really personal to you, but you wrote it in a way that others could tap into, relate to. I thought it was beautiful, the imagery and flow were bang on, and the last word...'sorry'...that was chilling, lovely way to end.
Very well written.
Thanks for the feed.
never thought you'd miss the blueprints in my eyes.
s c y t s o p h r e n i a
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