Sean C

[Shyboyx]

This is a short piece for a friend. just hit a brick wall and couldn't finish

It was your youth that made me see to follow my dreams
commitin crime being thuggin , Youre changing, into a Fiend
Addicted to the rude swag, Addicted to the wrong
This is what you do that make you think you really fukin strong?
Eveyrtime you doing dirt it also hurts us too
i just want to chill crack jokes like we used to
please im begging you as a true bro just be yourself
considering all the damage you have already dealt
think about it, see it through
believe me dude
What kind of story bout highschool you have tell your nephew
and still i respect you, for being true to bros
but somethings, you just have to, have to let go
so tell me is this what you really want with your life
stop for a second can't u fukin tell whats wrong and whats right
i'm just scared if you had a gun and shoot up tonight
sounds familiar right? reminds you of anson right?
i just missed the old times, where i felt more of a brother
but now your true emotions is always undercover
but fine let it be, what you really wanna be
i just thought back in the day, it was easier to breathe...

[Jukon]

Aight, you need 3 feedback links per piece dropped in this section. You have 24 hours from post time, so go those up within several hours please.

[The Dead]

It was your youth that made me see to follow my dreams
commitin crime being thuggin , Youre changing, into a Fiend

This is really good, the flow is making my head spin. Yes I feel it, it´s very dignified.
You should definetly try to find that flow in your writing in the future.

please im begging you as a true bro just be yourself
considering all the damage you have already dealt

This is actually more of the same, I love your emotion and flow. You definetly know how to "suck" someone into your apparent pain. Nice.

stop for a second can't u fukin tell whats wrong and whats right
i'm just scared if you had a gun and shoot up tonight
sounds familiar right? reminds you of anson right?

This is where you "miss" you see, I feel the emotion but your (otherwise excellent) wordplay gets repeated, with the word "right". Otherwise a nice emotional line.

Your emotion in this piece is obviously the strong point, not mentioning the strong wordplay in the middle and beginning of the piece. Good job.

Edit: Oh yeah, bro, try to really, i mean, REALLY finish the job. You will definetly benefit in the good from always trying to finish what you started. It's a no brainer really, just keep going. Always keep going.

[Tr!gga]

You really have a good flow. I'd brush up on vocab and ur literary devices tho. Good piece tho. I feel how it was from ur heart n shit. Good shit