Ima Rule The World

[Lil_Bit]

this is a piece i wrote to a beat my producer made me its called ima rule the world...

Lil Bit smell like swishers, smoke and liquor,
if a bitch talkin quicker,she get that one hitter quitter,
but i dont punch no bitch,im to pretty for that,
Id rather peel out,safety off, & push your wig back,
say ima "buck" you fools, no gunshots heard,
stay "Ducking",Im in hunting season,so ima shoot these "birds",
I was taught never back down always hold your ground,
but if a "bitch barking loud",she can get the "Dog Pound',
fuck calming down, she can get these six rounds,
I got my producer on my side & we blowing L's in my ride,
pretty hot beats, with this pyt,everythings gonna b on me,
liqour spilling, chicks grilling, but ima still sell a million,

(PYT)pretty young thing -those who didnt know lol...

kinda rusty so anything that u see i need to improve on pls let me know i appreciate the feed thanx...

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...06703&posted=1
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...06707&posted=1
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...151/index.html

[The Gangster]

I was going to read it, but then I saw your sig and scrolled down to look at it, by this time I couldn't be fucked to scroll back up

[infinite bars]

for somethin called "ima rule the world"..i don't see where ya lyrics play into that?

pretty hot beats with this pretty young thing everythings gonna b on me
iqour spilling, chicks grilling, but ima still sell a million,

i mean does that rhyme to you? and you seemed to go on alot of different topics. stick to the script (ima rule the world).

it wasnt the worst read and it defintely wasnt the best neitha. u seemed to be rappin a basic rhyme scheme...try writin this again but 1) stick to your title 2) lose the stretched bars 3) add a lil vocab in there 4) come back and show us what u got.

[Lil_Bit]

hell ya ill try that out like i said im rusty i aint wrote in a long time so ill see wat i can do thanx

[Extinctor Draconis]

your links are horrible, please replace them with decent feedback.

Private Message me once you have, and I'll open this right up and I'll edit this post with feedback of my own

Decent Feedback is picking out 3-5 items of the piece that you like or dislike, and then writing 1-3 sentences on each item. Use examples of the Poetic devices, which are stated in the feedback thread
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...751/index.html