This is my first rap i posted on here and i need some help. i ve always loved rap and hip-hop and always randomly rhymed but just a while ago got thinking maybe i can try it out.
My rhymes are like bombs, popping as corn on the cob,
There rich with flava, making me spit like a slob,
but im new to this shit, i need to find my grip,
before my mouth gets slow and i get hit wit a fit.
But i slowly realize... that i cant do this alone,
so come on dog help me and throw me a bone.
Thats it lol
need to come up with a lot more than that if you ask me before it can be criticized....
it's str8, obviously basic. find more difficult rhyming words and rhyme schemes....
but for now keep that up and gradually climb up the scale.
Ok, thanks man
My rhymes are like bombs, popping as corn on the cob,
your simile is weak, corn on the cob? lol
There rich with flava, making me spit like a slob,
disses youself "i spit like a slob"
but im new to this shit, i need to find my grip,
again kinda attacking your noobness
before my mouth gets slow and i get hit wit a fit.
forced, doesnt really make sense
But i slowly realize... that i cant do this alone,
simple
so come on dog help me and throw me a bone.
poo
eh
A.I
Hip Hop Uk Resurrection
yea well like i said, im kinda just getting into all this flowing and stuff and the back drop of this rhyme was supposed to be, help me out a little haha.
thanks for the critism though.
I worry less about rhyme scheme and shit as I would just rapping and writing. What do you want to write on? what in life moves you? talk yourself up and have random shit all you want, but I'd focus on what you want to write on. Whether its depressing, joyful, love, hate, a moment in history, a moment in your life, your girlfriend, family or whatever... pick a real topic.
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