Forbidden Fruit (SS no-show piece)

[Engivale]

Eating Nothing but the Forbidden Fruit



Whatever I get I'm never fully satisfied,
American labor is paid for and patternized...
Saved your catcher's ryes whose bahavior is satirized,
It's old greed to slow feed when the latest batch arrives...

Do you really think we've suffered the worst?
...Still paying pittance dues from one forbidden fruit's curse...
And if it's all for nought, why not eat what we've got?
Nothing but what we shouldn't that wouldn't have been sought
In the first place if the Earth preys on our temptation;
I'll make it every meal if it lets me feel a sensation...

The hunger is calling for the caress of the flesh,
I want to choose the younger fruits and give up on the test;
The chaliced cup isn't blessed, it's just pre-nuptial stress,
To take forbidden tours of bed-ridden whores fuckin' a guest...

Every time I get the girl I throw her away---
"Well, it's up to you..."
""Slut, we're through!"
Now I don't know her today.
Like a river boa with prey,
I catch and release...
If it tastes bad I'll take a stab
At the next batch that I seize...

The steady diet I've followed,
The forced-fed lie that I've swallowed;
Will my God be the one that's awed if he's arrivin' tomorrow?
Earth's supply isn't borrowed, we take seas, land and stone...
Metals, oils and settled soils;

...The Cheese Stands Alone...

From each stranded cone of our retina's vision,
For all we have we'd rather be mad for what ended up missin'...

I suppose it's human nature to be selfish,
I felt lips but chose to consume the flavor of Hell's Kiss...
Tell this to Judah's saviour and say you failed him,
And mailed whim to Buddha's chamber to assail sin...
In a tail spin now who's the danger that didn't root,
Fear-stricken few knew that in the manger lies...

...The Forbidden Fruit...

[Engivale]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ic-340927.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...el-339898.html

^^^LiNkS^^^

[Spekz.]

I enjoyed this...The use of higher level vocabular was very nicely put, it fit with the piece well and you kept that quality throughout the piece, there wasnt a lot multies or internal rhyming etc..but ur well used vocab,wording, and content of your deep meanings really intensified this piece...You got across your topic well, and it was very easy to read but still was a read of intelligence.

nice drop..

[P. Mortuus]

Hmmmm....Okay first of all this piece shows at intervals that your burning up with the constant writing you've been doing...Don't get me wrong, the language etc is all still great but it hasn't got that flow of yours, it flows but not that engivale flow, it isn't as clean as you usually make your pieces. However, i found that the higher vocabulary did great as a feast to the brain...there were many good flips and concepts in this piece and can easily give ideas to the reader for their own next pieces, so yeah as a topical this does pretty well. I wasn't sure about one thing, when you said the forbidden fruit lies in the manger...was that a refernce to the whole baby in the manger thing...idk.

Anyhow, it was a good piece....but i believe you can top it easily.

From one no show to another: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...on-340999.html

[Ntalek]

A very well display of pure writing skills. I love this piece as a whole. The entire concept was freshly placed in my mind for it's original take. The vocab was what really stood out in this piece besides everything else that was pretty much on point. I'm beginning to get a feel of how you write. You have so much control of your flow. and your wording it's always a inspirational read. Then as you even increase the vocab it takes it to another level. but this was a great read overall and I'll be looking to see more from you...

[Engivale]

thanks 4 feed, upping and RTF'ing now

[Paramik]

Wow this was a real good peice.
I feel its one of yuor best but then again i havent read much of your OMs.
This should've not been a no show peice as i wanted to see how the battles turned out.
So to the comment and feedback of your verse.
This peice had much imagery and emotion so it kind of hard to describe for myself.
The rhyme sheme was really on point but it was kind of lagged a lil at some place the vocab was real nice though.
So overall this was a phenominal OM and you should keep writin as i will continue to veiw more of your OMs.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ad-341245.html
Plz RTF on my keystyle

[Nique.]

Good piece. Flow wasn't as smooth as I'm usually used to reading from you, but it was still superior to most pieces in the OM section based on mechanics alone. The word choice and imagery was profound in this one. I liked how you used your words (correctly) to portray such a concept. You seem to write about relationship/female type pieces a lot. I don't know if that's intentional or what, but nevertheless, this was a good piece. A pretty straightforward piece that was well-written.