"Never Fawk Wit Herion"

[Floyd Powell]

its been 3 years now... and I still haven't seen your face
we all miss you so much... and wish the scene would re-take
my first heaven-sent child ... with a smile so bright
without you here im nothing... just a man with no life
a blown light.... and looking in the mirror becomes hard
it plays over in my head... with the sounds of spun cars
to glance at myself through the rear view... and to see my eyes
it was the greatest feeling ever... but now i see your cries
the moment you died... now im struck with this pain
i feel like its my fault... cuz the needle that stuck up my vein
i apologize... but if you only knew what daddy did in his life
that day your mother divorced him... and left the step-kid to his right
i was crazy i know it... but baby believe it
i love you... and it hurts you didn't get a chance to recieve it
my thoughts are just racin'... with this pen and this paper
sittin' here at this desk... with my hands dentin' a stapler
thinkin' how i could bring you back... and put me there
your mother hasn't called yet... because shes scared
i shown up at the funeral... and it hurt me more
to look at your outfit... and know its the only shirt you wore
sittin' here not givin' a fuck... with a knife to my wrist
i deserve this much... and have every right to be pissed
these people dont know nothin'... just assume what their speakin'
i feel worse everyday... and go even more nuts on weekends
im so weak- and.... just open my eyes
to see this was all just a dream... and im scopin' the guy
in my arms that i love so much... and cherish
to look at my wife... and see we didn't end marriage
to know that God loves me... and sent me a sign
to never fuck with herion... cuz ill get fenced within time......


just a visionary... nothin' serious
i hope yall like... and tell me what you think



http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...=320269&page=2

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...18#post5480118

[Wu banga]

Descent verse, not real lyrical, ok story tellin skills on this one, didn't see any metaphors. I think u only mentioning herion in the last part made this verse good, cuz in the beggining its like " how'd she die", then its like at the end "o,herion". But what confused my was the line about u "scopin the guy". Cuz that made it sound like it was a murderer who kilt her. Unless that was a metaphor and the guy was herion. I noticed the rhyme schemes and they didn't stand out, but it showed enough to give this song a smooth flow ya know. 7.8/10

[A_Sharp]

hmmm it was good. I like the whole story telling thing. It rhymed pretty good but I think if you had a lil more time to work on it you could have expanded your vocab and found more words

still good shit

[Floyd Powell]

"scopin the guy" i was speakin of my son
thank you for the replies


UPPIN