Hey there!

It looks like you're enjoying Rap Battles Forum but haven't created an account yet. Why not take a minute to register for your own free account now? As a member you get free access to all of our forums and posts plus the ability to post your own messages, communicate directly with other members and much more. Register now!

Already a member? Login at the top of this page to stop seeing this message.

User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: The Creative Mind Of The Insane.

  1. #1
    Soule
    Guest

    The Creative Mind Of The Insane.

    Chapter One:
    ..The Killer..

    As I watch my victoms blood spill; enjoy every kill
    I plan my next attack, dreams draw near like a flash back
    I grow sencere; my appoligies are never accepted
    Laugh at the blood smear, dramaticaly respected
    Room surrounded with blood covered blades; axes and hooks
    Murderous romance giving the dead aids, my murderous books
    The police try hard to find the peices; but I only solve the puzzle
    Life a Jig saw mixed in feases, or a peice of gold in a bag of rubble
    I'm not a canible; though I suppose you could think of me as one
    My job is fun, yet love for murder isnt near being Murderously done
    With a monster inside my soul; I know something is hungry and gold
    Growing old isnt hell, its the thirst for blood that keeps me ahold
    With my saw; and my many different tricks held up my sleave
    My hood up, showing all the victoms my puppet on the screen
    Their lives are distributed through my deep voice..with they survive
    One does; I tell her that very little of the worlds population accepts life
    I hand her, an ex-boyfriends head; she rips off the jaw
    She bows to me; "Thank you for this..Master JigSaw.


    Chapter Two:
    ..The Night..

    With the sky so dark; the children hiding in their fears
    Holding the control of their lives, destruction of their tears
    Draw their parents near; so I can hold their souls in hell
    Prison is like Kidengarden here, flames circle their cell
    Things are going well; the night so blind leaving angels behind
    I walk down the street with kids screaming "The Boogieman is behind me"
    Now how can they see; that the boogieman controls their pleas
    Come to an ease, suffocate their own lives..their own survival
    I own the night sky; becoming the worlds darkest arival..darkest rival


    Chapter Three:
    ..The Piano..

    Walking down the hotel hallway; listening to the piano
    Wondering whos controlling the keys, enjoying the piano
    Walking down this dark path in which no angels behold
    Looksing for the room with the wonderful music so cold
    Like a phantom; hiding in a underground room near by
    I come to a ending wall; turning back with a sigh
    I hear a voice call my name, turn around surprised
    The wall is risin; verticaly coming to a sun like horizon
    The piano keeps playing, a music un-matchable
    With a phantom that you could not beleive; un-catchable
    Realizing the truth; the piano is closer then I thought
    The pianist is me; it was just a phantomized plot.


    Chapter Four:
    ..The End..

    Day of reckoning; this day is turned to a judgment
    Gods flareing tempers, starting to punch shit
    Hadez killing angels; Zuez slaying the inneicent
    Announcing that this is for earths own benefit
    Thunder and Lightening killing much of humanity
    Brutality, wondering off the true glamity
    Enemy; slaughtering whats left of the killers family
    Handing me; a baby boy left severly bloody
    "Hunny, this child wont make it so hungry"
    The earth goes dark; world left silent
    Ever one is dead, all gods got too violent

  2. #2
    Incorrect Perfectionist Bilayer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    states
    Age
    36
    Posts
    1,636
    Battle Record
    18-6
    The police try hard to find the peices; but I only solve the puzzle
    Life a Jig saw mixed in feases, or a peice of gold in a bag of rubble
    I'm not a canible; though I suppose you could think of me as one
    My job is fun, yet love for murder isnt near being Murderously done
    With a monster inside my soul; I know something is hungry and gold
    Growing old isnt hell, its the thirst for blood that keeps me ahold
    With my saw; and my many different tricks held up my sleave
    My hood up, showing all the victoms my puppet on the screen

    This was my favorite piece in this piece mann u kept it on the topic all the way threw you had a different type of emotion for each chapter which was very nice i also like how you were very descriptive in this piece also the last chapter was a nice way to end it mann you took your time on this one i could tell it was well put together you took you time the wroding and rhyme scheme was on point pimpin nice drop cant wat for you to drop you next piece oo by the way this line stood out the most.

    Hadez killing angels; Zuez slaying the inneicent
    Announcing that this is for earths own benefit


    this was Dope mann Nice drop
    Left2Right


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


  3. #3
    Soule
    Guest
    Thank you.

  4. #4
    Soule
    Guest
    Upp.

  5. #5
    Soule
    Guest
    Bump.

  6. #6
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    UK
    Age
    35
    Posts
    20,486
    Battle Record
    37-7
    Awards Legendary Member PC HOF OM HOF PS Season champ SS HW Champion 25+ Wins
    Yup a nice ttle read here. The structure and chapterisation was good and gave off positive aiesthetic vibe. However, you had some grammatical errors and spelling error which were sprinkled across the lines which made parts awkard. The 2nd chapter & third was probably the strongest in my opinion as i found the 2nd and 3rd one to be wrote in a clever way which made the piece enjoable na mean. Overall, it was a good piece had not some errors been there i would have nominated it as i believe you must of put in atleast a little effort even if that was on the concepts and layouts. Overall, good piece, Stay up^.

  7. #7
    Soule
    Guest
    Thanks.

  8. #8
    Soule
    Guest
    Upps.

  9. #9
    Bye bye black bird Poeta Demonio's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    10,394
    Battle Record
    18-1
    Awards OM HOF PS Champion/IE Champion PS HOF PS Season champ Legendary PC PC HOF
    Closed, C'mon dude. I'm tired of having to tell you man.
    AI


    “ˇViva la Revolución!”

Similar Threads

  1. Opening of a mind: rationally insane.
    By Poeta Demonio in forum Closed Poems
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: August 7th, 2007, 10:09 PM
  2. Creative e-mails
    By 168 in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: February 25th, 2004, 06:17 PM
  3. My creative mind... Opens minds. (peep)
    By Funn DementaLL in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: October 20th, 2003, 12:18 PM
  4. L.O.C vs CREATIVE
    By L O C FUNK in forum Closed Battles
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: July 7th, 2002, 07:14 PM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •