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Thread: Begging for forgiveness

  1. January 28th, 2006, 09:57 PM #1
    EyeBite
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    Begging for forgiveness

    Verse 1
    Swearin at the people burnin down the steaple.....
    Cops tryin to stop me but they are way too feeble
    I know i'll be in trouble soon so i betta hide..........
    should i fuck around sum more i couldn't decide....
    Either way i was screwed so I got a bit nervous....
    If i run...I wont only have the cops after me......
    I'll even have the F.B.I or maybe the secret service
    I did this for a purpose and now i pay for my mistakes
    And If i eva try to take it back it will be too late....
    So i look up to the sky and beg god for forgiveness
    Should i committ suicide I couldnt take this shit...
    I think i did the worst thing..but i dont think so.. is it?
    friends try to help me..but i say mind your own business
    Red and blue lights comin this way..i ran cuz i couldn't stay
    I hid in my grandmas basement and hid there for a while
    I couldn't turn myself in cuz i knew i'd have to face tr    ial

    Hook
    Beggin for forgiveness but it isn't goin my way.......
    i guess the bad luck and blowin my way...........
    Cops comin for me, flowin my way............
    pastors and nuns with chairs, throwin my way...

    Verse 2
    No one fuckin likes me anymore cuz i did sum stupid shit
    I couldnt cool it..i was furious...i can't belive i do foolish shit
    I regret that day for life and now i have to live wit it...
    Knowin that I broke a rule that i ment to committ........
    the action i have taken was terrible i'll have to admit.....
    so if you fuckin argue wit me....well I really had it!!!
    cops guardin me...I'll stare at it and grab it..............
    Grip it...cock it..pop it..and say the fuckin guard poped it..
    My shoulder killed so bad...it was bleedin fast and thick..
    why si every mutha fuckin hater on my fuckin dick.....
    jump off bitches....i had a tough week already...
    tryin to clean my ways and i was goin pretty steady..
    Still beggin for forgiveness and i think its goin sumwhere
    now i'm on my beggin knees...chanting sum prayer......
    but still i'm in jail and i dont think i'm goin no where...
    people in jail for fightin and they cant compare.....
    I know i'm here for longer and know dat for a fact..
    from here on out..beggin for forgiveness in my only act

    Hook
    Beggin for forgiveness but it isn't goin my way.......
    i guess the bad luck and blowin my way...........
    Cops comin for me, flowin my way............
    pastors and nuns with chairs, throwin my way...
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  2. January 28th, 2006, 09:58 PM #2
    EyeBite
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    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=267912
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=267845
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  3. January 29th, 2006, 12:04 AM #3
    Devils_Diamond
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    yo this piece was deep, off da chain, with the creatvity, your wordplay was flawless yo n i like how u write alot and not just the required length, really feelin ya style, good drop no flaws, everything wen't together perfectly just the type of drops i like to read.

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  4. January 29th, 2006, 02:16 AM #4
    NuM-WuN
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    hmm this shit was deeep..it took me a couple reads to catch the flow but once i caught it i noticed how sick it was..your vocab was so-so, not too basic but wasn't outstanding..i enjoyed your second verse more..probably cause it was easier to read..your emotion is what stood out to me the most..i could sense the emotion from both verses to the chorus..also, your imagery was pretty nice as well...you set the storyline nicely with it..keep writing yo...oNE

    please hit up my OM: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=268442
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  5. January 29th, 2006, 07:57 AM #5
    Johnny 6-feet
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    I didn't like this Scribble, i've seen better from you man. The topic was kind of played, your vocab was lacking, even simplistic in a few places. You had some imagery but you could've gone into a lot more detail with what your narrator had done. The hook was ehhh. I caught the odd multi which helped the flow along.

    I know you can drop harder than this man. Keep posting.

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  6. January 29th, 2006, 09:28 AM #6
    EyeBite
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    thanks for the feed...its appreciated..I'm hittin up the links right now..
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  7. January 29th, 2006, 11:31 AM #7
    EyeBite
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    c'mon...uppin for sum feed
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  8. January 29th, 2006, 11:36 AM #8
    Supremacy
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    alrite drop
    rhymin was gd in sum places but simple or non existent in a coupla places towards the end of the first verse
    flow was a gd quality of this drop
    structure was also good
    keep tryin, i can see tht u have got potential

    can u drop an honest vote on the battle in my sig plz???
    Need Closing

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    graveyard

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    5-0

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    5-1
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  9. January 29th, 2006, 11:49 AM #9
    EyeBite
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    ok..thanks for your time to leave honest feed
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  10. January 29th, 2006, 12:05 PM #10
    Phantom Menace
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    dat waz alright
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  11. January 29th, 2006, 01:01 PM #11
    EyeBite
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    ok...u could have left better feed but w.e uppin
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