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Thread: ~~~Morning Breath~~~

  1. #1
    demonseed
    Guest

    ~~~Morning Breath~~~

    Twelve past nine,...rise on the dime
    all I can identify is the stench.
    As she lay beside me picturesque...
    I admire her Ample breasts.
    Which Im obscenly more obsessed.
    Our evening we had spent...while she slept I did molest.

    She breathes out words while she snores
    That burn through me like mouth sores.
    Of names I cant imply...that she sneaks in my surprise.
    I knew her beauty was more than merely mortal prize.
    But my day shall still begin,
    not the sex ...but that stench I breathe in.

    She burrows in my soul while I burden my control.
    To allow the deceit she so conceals.
    Behind the booze and vicodan pills.
    I allow her to stay, while I go on my merry way.
    But on this very day, I will remember anyway.



    Im lame....sleep on this..i got rusty in my sabatical.
    But oh well.

  2. #2
    ¤|-.Alpha.-|¤
    Guest
    Decent peace.

  3. #3
    demonseed
    Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by ¤|-.Alpha.-|¤
    Decent peace.
    appreciate the read bro...!

  4. #4
    Beautifully Decayed Mesmerize's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Age
    39
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    786
    Battle Record
    3-0
    pretty good peice. I wouldve liked for it to be longer though, lol. You def had some good imagery in this. Some of the rhymes seemed a little forced but it flowed pretty well. I think the emotion was lacking just a little though. Pretty nice drop though, keep it up.

    peace,
    Mez

  5. #5
    demonseed
    Guest
    thank you as always MEZ...


    I understand how u menat forced rhymes, but I didnt give it much thought like that when I dropped it.
    Your words are always appreciated!


    write on

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