Valentine (Ladies plz rep this!)

[sNoopfox]

Valentine

There’s a star that shines so intense.
Pretty stars surround it yet
This one grips me, its aura immense.
I Know I know it deeply, but eyes have barely met.
My subconscious confirms a spark,
Igniting a connection I can’t forget.
At times it twinkles at me, I feel warm in side.
But when I stare eagerly…
Behind a confused black cloud it hides.
I gaze a wait…it shies; I hope its colors shimmer true.
Now at a loose end; where else can I look?
‘Cause No other star flickers, just the way you do.



(I kept this really basic! Not too complex, she might not understand Tehehe...but ye...I'm gonna put it in a card I send this girl I like...wot you think ladies!? And gents )

[~B.D.~]

Some tight lines man you most def getting pussy lol...

[sNoopfox]

Haha, lets hope so

[Prince Escobar]

lol u silly goose...(AHH MY GIRL IS RUBBING OFF ON ME!)
Anyways this was a nice and simple poem, it was abstract but wasnt complex which was a good thing but i felt that it was a bit too straightforward, you are a good poet and i would have liked something more dense in content maybe switching it up with multiple rhyming words within one line but seeing that the goal here is to achieve intercourse lol im sure the girl will like this piece because it shows the intangible, that you care and are sincere, so for its purpose this is a great poem :thumbsup: 1luv.

[sNoopfox]

Hah, not all guys are players... Just some of us

Cheers for the rep.

Maybe i might edit it abit. Hmm, ill look into it.

sNoopfox

[Piscean Twin]

I really liked it and what helped it alot is that it wasnt too complex but not 'first-reader" basic either, which is good for vday i guess. really sweet one!

peace

[Varentao]

Yeah, it was good. Very 'sweet' as i'm sure many people have already said. Obviously ran into a fair few cliches and when trying to break free of them didn't quite manage it. But still nice. Oh, and did you mean 'shies' or 'shines'. I prefer the former. Cos if it was the latter, i'd revert back to the cliche thing.

Candy like...

[sNoopfox]

its shies away...cus she shies behind the cloud.
cheers 4 the rep

[Swift Death]

makes me want to jump threw the screen and fornicate you.

[sNoopfox]

please

[Crowd-Pleaser]

damn dude that was nice, would of been better if it was longer but nice

[Mesmerize]

This was a really sweet poem. Something great for a card. It was very simple yet beautifuly worded with some deep emotion. Keep droppin.

peace,
Mez

[demonseed]

sweet and simple..and cliche was the point folks..like he said ..so his girl could understand it...I know what you mean....you have that deeper side dominant.

If this chick dont work after time passes....get a gal who likes the deep shit, so its a challenge to get at them panties...respectfully but skillfully.
(good luck..haha..so few)
The easy ones,(verses) get the loose change...shoot for the benji's..i bet you got the lyrical sword for it..arm that arsenal.
But if that gals a dime, shes worth it regardless bro! SHe will melt!
Good luck, and keep at the fight!

[p O e T i Q u E]

It was short and i've seen better from you you are a great poet but all in all you did really good on it and it was "sweet" dont cha feel like a lil bitch now? lol just playin i woulda liked it

can i get feedback on the picture within please