2nd time in tell me what ya think

[Smooth JT]

Big boys drive around with there big toys
Cadillac and Mercedes pimpin all da ladies
With the slick paint job, and the underbody kit
Most of these cars are more than legit
With the flip down screens and the dvds
Ps2 in the council,screen in da wheel
Looking at the style makes these boys feel
Mild beats emittin from the back
Change the disc to a brand new track
Pump up the volume and hear tha shit hittin
People turning there heads and see me sitting
In the seat of this truck with plently of mods
Hear me open the throttle and hear you say ah
With the dual flowmaster system and new glass packs
New blue tach, that can reach one fifty
Punch in the gas and watch me fly slickly
Wit the North Star v8, common don't hate
Engine chromed out, glass bead on the block
Just can't leave a truck like this stock
Able to lock up the front tries, let the rears spin
White smoke pourin out ain't not a sin
Pimpin this out will not even begin
To much detail to blow your mind
The interior leather, it's very devine
Spending time planning, check this out
No doubt this GM will be bout it
Moneys no object when you have a dream
Driving around and let the tires gleam
You mean you just don't know
Making this all custom is the way to go
Front bumper push bar and conversion
Learning that Cadillac is not hurting
Just a growin truck in the world today
Laying down a standard for you to try and top
Because when i'm done you can't stop
Something as cold that you can't pop
With the M/T fat slicks on the rear
800 hoursepower is something to fear
Near the end of the trend
I can still depend
That my sweet ass ride will bend da boundarys
Me and my guys working at the foundary
Castin and shaping a whole new body...

[J_S.P.I.D.E.R]

yea, yea, yea, it started off wierd 2 me. but then it got hot keep doin the damn thing. i liked

"New blue tach, that can reach one fifty
Punch in the gas and watch me fly slickly
Wit the North Star v8, common don't hate
Engine chromed out, glass bead on the block
Just can't leave a truck like this stock"

this line was crazy

[Provoked Images]

aight, ok drop, tha wordplay played off of tha car/truck theme but was still basic none tha less, u also need to work on gettin some way to organize tha rhymes...

ur rhyme scheme was:
A
B
C
C
D
E
E
F
F
H
H
I
J
...

and wat not...

jus keep droppin...

[Baron Mynd]

Lmao At An Open Mic About A Guy And His Car. .

Nce original concept, ive never seen it done before! Flow was good throughout, it read nicely for me from start to finish, good structure to the verse, made it easy foir the reader to get into in my opinion, you stuck to the topic throughout, BUT a lot of the rhyming was basic, try using more Multi's and Internal Rhyming in your future pieces to add a little more complexity to your stuff, because ANY emcee can write a piece rhyming one-syllable words together, just look at Nelly, lol.

Anyways, the potentials there, not a bad rhyme structure, decent flow, original concepts [ lol ], you just need to upp your wordplay / multi's / internal rhyming and possible takje a shot at doing a piece involving imagery and emotion - see how you do at those pieces because they are more difficult to pull off.

Reply to my piece feat. abolish.

Eace-Pay!