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Thread: Wat is death?

  1. September 6th, 2003, 05:41 PM #1
    Provoked Images
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    Wat is death?

    a touch straight through me, darkness

    a light, it expands

    where did it go?
    I'm lost,


    WAIT!!!

    there it is again.......

    silence.
    a beat...quicker...QUICker...QUICKER...GONEEE!!!!

    a voice...



    such melody...


    not time you say?

    a tunnel...


    it continues






    forever .................................................. .................................................. ..............................................STOP !

    smell....air?...no...water...

    my eyes....
    they open...
    i raise my head....





    AIR!!!



    look down to see death's face glare at me...


    i have won...

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  2. September 6th, 2003, 09:19 PM #2
    ~Soultress~
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    OooOOOOOOoooo

    I likes!
    This was really something different and very
    unique...
    I loved how u structed it...how u made the reader
    have to scroll down to read ur next thought..
    impressive
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  3. September 6th, 2003, 09:34 PM #3
    Ndeathmight
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    Thumbs up

    wow 1 word....Suspenseful .....left me thinking...
    .truly great.. gave some inspiration...truly amasing...
    looking forward to seeing more.......
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  4. September 7th, 2003, 07:20 AM #4
    Civilized Rebel
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    Indeed. Very different, I loved that. It managed to make sense and wasn't too abstract.

    It was able to do a lot despite such simplicity.

    It gave me a sort of "The Crow" feeling at the end.

    ~Shalom~
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  5. September 7th, 2003, 11:46 AM #5
    Spoken
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    iight

    i really liked this loved this!

    i like the way you structered it, the way it kept me reading, and even in 67 words you filled my mind with strong pictures, wonder, and hope.

    i liked the way you attacked the idea of beating death, it is very unique, something that i will remember everytime i see your screen name, and something that will make sure that i read the next of your talent

    my love

    ~Tera~
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  6. September 7th, 2003, 02:21 PM #6
    Madd Preacher
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    THAT WAS TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!! AAAAAAAAAWE SHIT.....AHAHAHAHA....INTERPRETIVE POETRY...YO EVERYTHIN PLAYED IN MY MIND LIKE I WAS IN A LIL COFFE POETRY NIGHT CLUB OR SOME SHIT!!...

    heh...this was different and a liked...for some reason it didnt need wordplay..vocab...or anthing of that nature...and the flow wassnt rhyme but still a flow was in it....ay yi yi!...this muah fucka has got me goin...

    heh nicely done...keep droppin...i like this ish righ herr'


    igido
    Wit.
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  7. September 8th, 2003, 12:52 AM #7
    Legendary
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    Wow, this was very different. I couldn't even imagine coming up with something like this. This took some serious creativity and I don't even have 1/4 of what you had when writing this. Dying, or nearly dying then coming back is definately an interesting thing to write about so I stayed hooked while reading it. Plus the way you put it up here made it real good. Just spacing it out like that...I dunno why but it made the read better. Nice post..
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  8. September 8th, 2003, 02:09 AM #8
    Jes
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    Dido everything that was said...

    Wanted to throw in that the format and structure made for a good read. Really helped the piece come alive.

    Nice drop.
    "life is a game, you have to choose a side to play
    if i gotta pick a position, i'mma pick missionary."
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  9. September 9th, 2003, 05:37 PM #9
    Smooth JT
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    Cheated death, the suspense pulled me in to read on. You keep postin i keep reading. peace
    "Leave your feedback on the page because only the peanut gallery is welcome here"

    "You laugh at me bacause i'm different but I laugh at you because your all the same"
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  10. September 9th, 2003, 07:05 PM #10
    Varentao
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    Sharp and on the edge. Bringing a realism to the piece. Not a concrete realism as such. One of mentality, personal and even panoramic in a sense.

    It was good. I liked it.

    ...resp..

    (I'm closing one of your threads. You have three on the front page. A mod will re-open it once you only have one or none left on the front page).
    I'm too secure to have a signature.

    Oh.
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  11. September 9th, 2003, 08:52 PM #11
    DaGyrlRemarqabL
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    Wow...Everyone is right...
    This piece was incredibly original and creative, innovative and thought provoking...The structure really added more than one may think...Really nicely done.
    Feelin it.
    Stay up n keep blessin us.
    P U R E


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