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Thread: Sketched Story of Tragedy, Opaque...(I)

  1. #1
    Certified Like A COW Varentao's Avatar
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    Sketched Story of Tragedy, Opaque...(I)

    My destiny laughs
    with lonely death.
    Irony pulling strings.
    Oh square insanity,
    Not this way..

    Slowly it rises,
    Mind clicks in,
    Suffering past pain.* -----------(as in past the pain)
    Time is key,...
    Sands must settle...

    Weaving a web,
    One must fall.
    Motions crack.
    Solace in life,
    And the return.

    Too simple is this,
    Doing litte justice.
    I weep thoughts,
    Never to be written.
    Maybe for better,
    Implosion the worst..

    Delayed sounds echoed.
    At ninety degree circle
    avalanches occured,
    Physics no bounds.
    Taken by it all,
    My jasmine rose.....



    _________________________


    Best attempt for a while trying to get this out in a whole piece. Just did it now. But as i write this, i must put emphasis on the 2nd to last stanza.

    Oh, and the last two stanzas are inter-changable. I couldn't decide where to put the 6 lined (2nd to last) stanza.
    I'm too secure to have a signature.

    Oh.

  2. #2
    Certified Vet Content's Avatar
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    Maybe We Do Have To Place Asterics When Were Using
    Wordplay Or Being Abstract In Some Matter...
    Never Though Thinking Momentairly Could
    Be So Hard ~Insert Laughter Here~

    ~Breakdown Of Contents Make Me A Mod Comittee~

    Unsure Of A Jasmine Rose...Possibly A Relationship...
    Looking Up Solace...Cant Touch On A Defination...
    What Is Solitude For 500 Alex?

    Nothing To Depict Here Besides My Own Questions
    And This Was A Decent Piece Of Work From You

    Peace
    Last edited by Content; July 31st, 2003 at 07:30 PM
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  3. #3
    Certified Like A COW Varentao's Avatar
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    It's the best piece i done on the subject since the 'blockage'. And the 'blockage' relates to the subject.

    And yet the piece does little to no justice. I struggle to write when on this subject.

    It's also very within itself and myself. So even harder to 'get' i guess. Not at all a reader friendly piece if one likes to dig.

    Appreciated the comments.
    I'm too secure to have a signature.

    Oh.

  4. #4
    -First Lady of RB- DaGyrlRemarqabL's Avatar
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    Oh Varentao..
    You really are in a league of your own..
    Your unique writing style and ability to just, describe something in a way completely unaverage, just never fails to amaze me.
    Even if someone has no idea what exactly you're talking about..(which im sure a lot of ppl do when they read your pieces)..Surely they can still appreciate the beauty of the words connected, and the unexpected imagery..I know I always do.

    Time is key,...
    Sands must settle...

    I felt that was the core of the whole piece..I pretty much related everything else I read to that one part in trying to understand the concept, in that healing, many times, feels much more like torture.
    what do i know..
    Nice drop, stay up V-man.
    pz.
    P U R E


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    RemarqabL

  5. #5
    Certified Like A COW Varentao's Avatar
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    Appreciated Gege. That was part of it. But then again, as you saw it, all of it. I appreciate that.

    Twas a brief and rough 'sketch' of the story of someone who was/is closest to me dying a year ago. Full of irony.
    I'm too secure to have a signature.

    Oh.

  6. #6
    LaDy TrInItY
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    Hmm..had to read a couple times...this reminded me of a piece we read in English....i forgot that guys name....I think he was from the romanticism period tho..not quite sure..i'll remember when i'm done here

    but any who...I probably did not catch ur meaning..I wont act like i did....but this is what i got out of it

    Weaving a web,
    One must fall.
    Motions crack.
    Solace in life,
    And the return.
    .........reminds me of that old sayin...if u get knocked off ur horse..get back on and try....the one must fall...then the return part...kinda hit me....solace in life.....then it reminded me of the world turning..and how everyone is in there right place..and supposed to do there certains tasks..(don't ask why..i think unlike many)



    this was my fav. stanza
    Too simple is this,
    Doing litte justice.
    I weep thoughts,
    Never to be written.
    Maybe for better,
    Implosion the worst..
    ..........its beautiful..could be its own poem..lol......but then again i'm a person for short pieces ..and pieces that contain everything within itself.....i weep thoughts never to be written..that hit me the hardest...iw ish i could explain why..but it just did

    Nice V..but then again i always respected your work...

    God bless....1

  7. #7
    Certified Like A COW Varentao's Avatar
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    Appreciated Trinity.
    I'm too secure to have a signature.

    Oh.

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