Originally Posted by
YG
*the smoke clears as a hooded and masked figure emerges from the shadows*
I have been tasked with voting on this masterclass of a text battle
*kneels down alongside my blade, of which has been used to execute entire villages*
You called his wench a matter of fiction, meaning you mostly see her as a figment of imagination. This is very clever. You’re saying he lies about having a girl, as most internet dweebs dumbfoundedly and falsely proclaim. Great opening line by you. You follow up with saying your previous claim of his girl not existing is actually true. You’ve doubled down and stuck in your ways. There is no getting you to change your mind. You’ve also used the word ‘matter’ twice thus far. Matter… hmm what actually IS matter? Wikipedia defines matter as ‘any substance that has mass and takes up space by having volume’ it’s a scientific theory that has been studied for centuries. You sound very smart to be using this word not once, but twice in your opening stanza. I tip my fedora to you sir. Now to your punchline. You claim for something to be a miracle. You’ve already said his girl is a matter of fiction, so is it a miracle that that would be considered the truth? Are you onto some kind of revelation that no one has EVER thought to question? Maybe I’m just not smart enough to interpret the line as it should be. Now… this is where it gets good. Let’s go back to that definition of matter
Actually before we move on further, I’d like to address the elephant in the room. You say his girl is fake, but then you go onto call her fat. If his girl was fake she would not exist, so who exactly are you calling fat? And how does dissing his non existent girl correlate to dissing your actual opponent? Are you in a battle with her, or him? Or is miracle’s girl secretly (well, I guess not so secretly) ghostwriting for him? Man, ghosts are cool. Remember that show Ghost Hunters where they would go into houses and use those sound devices to pick up supposed undead-beings interactions? I wish they would have captured one on camera, what a let down. Anywho. Let’s get back to that matter definition.
*light bulb clicks*
Okay I get it now, you calling his girl fat directly coincides with the definition of matter. Taking up space and volume. That’s kind of vague though, no? We all take up space and volume. That reminds me, I need to turn up the volume on my computer speakers. I think dust or something keeps getting into them. If only I hadn’t used all the computer duster to get high and jam out to My Little Pony soundtracks all day.
Point being, this bar was not written by just any man. This person has formed inter dimensional thoughts and delusions to all trick us into thinking his girl was fake, then coming back by calling her real, but overweight. Man. I wish I could come up with something like that.
Vs
You say he goes both ways, which I can only assume is a euphemism for being bisexual. You also say it goes on for days. Do you think this bisexuality is just an act that happens for days at a time then goes back to turning straight? You should have said something like he goes both ways for life or something if you really wanted that to land. Like if someone called me bisexual for life I would go into such a fit of rage where I would see nothing but red until my opposition saw nothing but black, aka knocked tf out. Man, Ngannou sure took a big shot the other night. I’m sure he was seeing black for a couple minutes there. And to all you racists out there no I don’t mean he was looking in the mirror and/or at his opponent. Get your minds out the gutter. Ok so he’s bisexual for days at a time, and you are not having this. You don’t accept the fact that he’s bisexual. What ever happened to loving someone for who they are? I’ve watched plenty of lesbian porn in my life and instead of heading on the bisexual nature of their acts, I’ve come to only love and accept it. You should be more open to accepting people for who they are, only a suggestion. I’m not religious so I won’t pretend to go too in depth on what the Bible’s teachings are. But I’m sure somewhere in there it says something along the lines of “love one another”? Is Mal Diction a religious person? These are questions I need answers to. I also need to know why that bitch at Chic Fil A forgot to put fries in my bag. It’s okay because when I went back to say something, not only did they give me the fries, but also a coupon for a free meal for my next visit! It expired though so I didn’t end up using it. Man I could go for a spicy chicken sandwich right about now. Now you mention that if he brings that bisexual shit near you, you’ll be introducing him to the main protagonist of the Bible. I’m not biblical expert but is that supposed to be God? If he brings that shit around you youll have him meeting God? As in kill him and send him to heaven? A lot of people look forward to heaven, if anything you should have said antagonist because that would be the devil in hell. Don’t smoke the devils lettuce kids.
After all all is said and done and I was able to breakdown this HoF worthy 1-2 punch battle in its entirety as it was meant to be, I must choose a winner. That saying “winner winner chicken dinner” is really clever, I wonder where that started? Damn now I’m thinking of chic fil an again. Damn you!!!
I’ll go with Miracle here for having a more thought out and intellectually sound setup and punch. Mal didn’t seem to take it too seriously and more so seemed to diss Miracles non-existent ghostwriter fat imaginary girlfriend. Next time come more direct to your opponent.
*the hooded figure disappears into the mist, never to be seen again*
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