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Thread: SSR Week One: Soule vs SmokaJoka (Soule Wins via NS)

  1. #1
    The Man in Black Soule's Avatar
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    SSR Week One: Soule vs SmokaJoka (Soule Wins via NS)

    https://i.imgur.com/qpvB675.png

    Welcome BACK to Sacred Scriptures! This week, we truly have something special! We're opening the season with fireworks as we dive into the shark infested waters with a Challenge week! It's simple really. Everybody has ONE topic, or theme I should say. Not only do you have the chance to win your battle, BUT the BEST piece of this week will earn a small cash prize! So, make sure to write your bloody heart out! This week's theme is ... TIME. Do whatever you want with that, just make sure you stay on topic or it'll hurt you in the votes and grand prize! Good luck to everybody!

    Verses Due: 11:59PM Pacific Time, January 7th, 2022.
    Votes Due: 11:59PM Pacific Time, January 9th, 2022.
    3-0 is a KO, otherwise it's the first to 5.
    No biting, recycling, or swaying (if a battle's open, do NOT discuss it)
    50 lines max

    @Soule
    vs
    @SmokaJoka

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    Originally Posted by Wuxia
    You're a really talented writer. And I've only ever said that to Baron Mynd.

  2. #2
    The Man in Black Soule's Avatar
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    Re: SSR Week One: Soule vs SmokaJoka

    I'll write either Monday or Friday. Good luck, old friend.

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    Originally Posted by Wuxia
    You're a really talented writer. And I've only ever said that to Baron Mynd.

  3. #3
    The Man in Black Soule's Avatar
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    Re: SSR Week One: Soule vs SmokaJoka

    I woke up this morning unaware of what's to come,
    except for the fact that I'm always numb.
    Anti-depressants got my brain slipping through the mud,
    judging myself everyday, a routine scheduled slump.
    I can't seem to escape, too tired to run,
    like this became my fate, a zombie on the drug.
    This the closest I'll ever get to falling in love,
    married to the prescription, my doctor, the dealer.
    I get light headed, my bed, the healer.
    My wife tries to hug me but I can't seem to feel her,
    my stomach starts to ache, and a nauseating fever.
    I'm falling down the rabbit hole, everyday, it's getting deeper.
    imagine crying so much your tears fill up the theater...
    I make it to the other side, but the grass isn't greener,
    someone turned off the light, suddenly, I'm a heavy sleeper...
    unfortunately, not much of a dreamer.

    I woke up this morning, feeling more aware,
    deja vu around each corner, couldn't help but stare.
    It's becoming easier for me to decide what to wear,
    walking to work but I feel like I was just there...
    Getting closer to thirty, not gonna lie, I'm scared,
    three decades on Earth, and I've been losing my hair.
    I'm in pain all the time and I just want to share
    what time I have left with someone that'll hold me.
    It seems, the older I get, the more I feel lonely,
    and who I am now would've hated the old me,
    because I used to be ignorant, rude and controlling.
    Took so much for granted, and just kept on rolling,
    when I should've enjoyed life, now I'm fading slowly.
    I got a wife and two sons, but when it's time to go,
    will they remember me a decade down the road?
    Or will I be forgotten, just ashes blowing in the cold?

    I woke up this morning, hurting all over,
    everyday I walk around regretting being sober.
    I want to get high to hide the pain in between my shoulders,
    feeling like my spine is smashed beneath some boulders.
    Shit's getting worse, everyday I'm getting older,
    I hate when it rains, the aches increase when I'm colder.
    The love of my life's not around for me to hold her,
    wish I could've appreciated that a little longer...
    most days, I wish I was a little stronger,
    so I could fend off my inner monsters,
    or I wish I had a lot more to offer
    than "I love you" and "I'm sorry" before I lost her.
    She didn't die, I've just made so many mistakes,
    that I left a block of ice where her heart was placed,
    and I want to put it back, but I guess I'm too late...
    she quit loving me long before today.

    Tick, tick, tock, listen to all them clocks,
    not enough time in this life to fix the ones that stopped.

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    Originally Posted by Wuxia
    You're a really talented writer. And I've only ever said that to Baron Mynd.

  4. #4
    You'll get the point... Phalanx's Avatar
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    Re: SSR Week One: Soule vs SmokaJoka (FEED)

    @Soule I thought this was solid. Mechanically, not as polished as I'm used to seeing from you. But the flow was passable, so I won't knock you. Your concept was pretty cool, and I feel like you did a cool job telling the story from different perspectives in time. That ending was strong. Overall, I enjoyed it.

  5. #5
    Lyrical Fire Slayerr.'s Avatar
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    Re: SSR Week One: Soule vs SmokaJoka (FEED)

    I like the concept it’s the sort of thing I was planning on doing originally but couldn’t structure it and I think you’ve done a really good job of that here. Flow was good and there was some deep heartfelt lines - the older I get the lonelier I get resonated with me hahaha
    And she quit loving me long before today - rrally sums up girls emotions that that!

    Nice drop, nothing too spectacular but some deep lines and a nice read

  6. #6
    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
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    Re: SSR Week One: Soule vs SmokaJoka (FEED)

    Soule this was a cool drop man. Emotionally charged. Reminds me of your Jonathan piece in OM but with more time concepts incorporated basically. The same raw emotions and life experience blended to create a cohesive self reflective piece on the passage of time in multiple ways. It was a good read front to back. Couple times I felt like maybe something could’ve been worded better but that’s if I really really dug at it but probably nothing worth mentioning even to be real cause as a whole this was a good contending piece to throw at somebody like SmokaJoka had he show up. I had a feeling he wasn’t going to show though after talking to him on messenger lol… lame that he posted in the sign up thread but then back pedaled, it would’ve been a cool match to judge but at least we got a dope written from you out of it here.

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