Staring…
blankly at my screen, trying to recreate
the feelings I had oh so long ago, where words
flowed freely onto paper before being copied
onto the screen. I had time to practice scribbles
over that which didn’t fit. Scratching lines left and
right, up and down. Watch me make words
disappear! Or at least unreadable. Drawing over
imperfection in an abstract rage.
Unsure…
if I’m at peace with my decline, feeling naked
and cautious. This whirlwind of emotions
is a dizzying effect of the mind, trapping myself
in a world in which I no longer feel comfortable or even
recognize anymore. Keys clang while my fingers pound
down on unsuspecting symbols.
Posted…
Queue the applause as
letters become words become thoughts thrown
down for all to see. Waiting for a confirmation of
rejection or the gratification of acceptance. How
did I get to this place where I no longer can write
for me. Outside approval ruins my sanctuary, my
escape. I will uncomplicated this. I remember
pen on paper, what a romantic idea.