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Thread: "oh shit i might be the father"

  1. #1
    chill
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    "oh shit i might be the father"

    ever been in one of these situations?

    A little over a year ago i banged this chick, soon after that i found out she was pregnant. so i was sweating it for MONTHS until i was able to get an appointment for a prenatal test AND wait for the results. $1305 to be exact.

    she got the results in an email and the phone call with her friend telling me i wasn't the father was the most beautiful thing in the world! it was like i got a 2nd chance at life. me and the homies were celebrating like we just won the lotto and her friend hung up on me lmao. fuck, my life would be so much different right now. that bitch is on welfare.

    she was at my friends party a few weeks ago and she wanted my dick i was just like nah.....
    She said I could sleep on the couch
    By 2 am, I was diggin her out

  2. #2
    BRB, Jumping Ship Baron Mynd's Avatar
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    Re: "oh shit i might be the father"

    been there a couple of times

    had to go with this one broad to this day-after-the-day-after clinic

    sat in this interview type thing with her and this old woman, warning her how it wasn't 100% successful and how it wasn't a certainty, that you cant just practice unsafe sex and sleep around then expect them to sort your problems out

    she was a bitch tbh

    wifey got the implant at present though, so there's only like a 1/1000 chance of her falling pregnant, they last three years and you can have them removed when were ready, which'll probably be 2015

    I understand the sense of relief when you feel you're off the hook though, hardly anything compares haha!

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  3. #3
    Senator Ricardo El Chapo's Avatar
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    Re: "oh shit i might be the father"

    Team iMasturbate
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  4. #4
    Kept on a short leash
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    Re: "oh shit i might be the father"

    The Great Father is me.

    I've always been The Great Father.

    nuff said

  5. #5
    chill
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    Re: "oh shit i might be the father"

    Quote Originally Posted by Dadiator View Post
    The Great Father is me.

    I've always been The Great Father.

    nuff said
    holy shit, i totally did not see this post coming..
    She said I could sleep on the couch
    By 2 am, I was diggin her out

  6. #6
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    Re: "oh shit i might be the father"

    The Great Father decrees-

    What a twist!

  7. #7
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    Re: "oh shit i might be the father"

    Quote Originally Posted by Sobe View Post
    ever been in one of these situations?

    A little over a year ago i banged this chick, soon after that i found out she was pregnant. so i was sweating it for MONTHS until i was able to get an appointment for a prenatal test AND wait for the results. $1305 to be exact.

    she got the results in an email and the phone call with her friend telling me i wasn't the father was the most beautiful thing in the world! it was like i got a 2nd chance at life. me and the homies were celebrating like we just won the lotto and her friend hung up on me lmao. fuck, my life would be so much different right now. that bitch is on welfare.

    she was at my friends party a few weeks ago and she wanted my dick i was just like nah.....
    The Great Father decrees-

    This is why I never carry ID when I go out looking to fuck. That being said, it's only happened to me three times. One bitch threatened Maury, but her kid came out black. Ha ha ha.

    If you haven't caught the reference, I am not black, ergo I wasn't il papa for that one. I've got a kid in Switzerland, though. Bitch married a very rich banker and they fled seemingly as quick as it took for me to regret banging her.



    Congrats on the victory against the trashy bitch, though.

  8. #8
    chill
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    Re: "oh shit i might be the father"

    Quote Originally Posted by Dadiator View Post
    The Great Father decrees-

    This is why I never carry ID when I go out looking to fuck. That being said, it's only happened to me three times. One bitch threatened Maury, but her kid came out black. Ha ha ha.

    If you haven't caught the reference, I am not black, ergo I wasn't il papa for that one. I've got a kid in Switzerland, though. Bitch married a very rich banker and they fled seemingly as quick as it took for me to regret banging her.



    Congrats on the victory against the trashy bitch, though.
    yes, it was a major relief

    that doesn't bother u that u have a kid in switzerland?
    She said I could sleep on the couch
    By 2 am, I was diggin her out

  9. #9
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    Re: "oh shit i might be the father"

    Quote Originally Posted by Sobe View Post
    yes, it was a major relief

    that doesn't bother u that u have a kid in switzerland?
    The Great Father decrees-

    Deep down, I know he is far better off where he is. He's getting a fair shake at a lot more opportunities where he is now with his step-father and mother than I believe I ever could have provided him. I'm not one of those selfish bastard types who would deprive my kid the chance at a good life just because I want him to myself.

  10. #10
    chill
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    Re: "oh shit i might be the father"

    werd i respect that
    She said I could sleep on the couch
    By 2 am, I was diggin her out

  11. #11
    BRB, Jumping Ship Baron Mynd's Avatar
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    Re: "oh shit i might be the father"

    LMAO @ 'THREATENING MAURY' THO

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  12. #12
    Whiiteboy Daz's Avatar
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    Re: "oh shit i might be the father"

    yeah i've been through this before, it's almost like playing russian roulette.
    Always Impervious an Axis Power.


    Supermod Me.

  13. #13
    Senator Ricardo El Chapo's Avatar
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    Re: "oh shit i might be the father"

    All I do is raw dog and I still don't have HIV


    Anyone here got it?
    [/url]

  14. #14
    Yep, a duck w/an umbrella SecondRobert's Avatar
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    Re: "oh shit i might be the father"

    A larger portion of the denizens here are more accustomed to taking back shots than they are unloading ooze into another. Much less into a woman.
    My avatar is a duck holding an umbrella. You will not be able to refute this.

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