From The Depths

[Vandahl.]

From The Depths

-
-

..Standing upon a the peak of Olympus..

I rose from the oceans abyss, levitating, I floated adrift
Over Earth's civilizations as cement eroded to crisps!!
The wind's coated by mists, No longer chained or at hold by the wrist
As I remotely code a bomb, to make you explode at the hip
I'm controlling your motion with my mind you're hopin' to shift!!
I strip every devotion by vocally quoting the emotions you spit
Notice my holsters equipped & after that you'll hopefully quit
Cause when the work is done, I go home, to roll me a spliff

..Above the Heavens..

I'm Close to the edge, I smirk when I work to dispose of the dead
& for what it's worth, you haven't spit a verse full words to get cred
Hurt then collect, bones get rid of foes gassed like a burp from the chest
Murder and rape a virgin for sex, gettin' off by her squirmin' in red
Piss acid on her, inject worms in her head, let the vermin infest
Inject cyanide so she burns from within, your career yearns to begin
But nope, you can't even learn to defend, when I stab you firm in the leg
Then take control of Earth & make Hitler's armies return from the dead

..Beneath the crust..

Scandalous Grammar, those with ill tongues.. with weapons of tyrants
You'll laugh.. till I telepathically tamper with your molecular alignment
Lyrically summon the Kraken to start shipwrecking you pirates
Shining vibrant, the ideal of depression and aggression united
Always ignored the lessons provided, was too busy, suppressed in my writin'
Instead of drug obsession, I progress in assignments - I'm less than compliant
On a never-ending quest to leave a trident pressed in Poseidon
Of course..we all want a piece of the pie, but no questions; you'd bite it

..In the Land of the Dead..

I'm villainous, so diligent of my militant presence
Fakin' etiquette and expressions for political delegates - Nah
I was sent from the heavens to edit religions typical message
Manifest some pivotal leverage to leave a critical hemorrhage
And for the record...I'll turn every rebel into a literal leper
To stress and test every better minimal deafened pitiful peasant
Cause, instead of frettin' & worshiping cynical reverends
I was forcing paganism upon the young with habitual effort

..I arose from Whirlpool of Souls..

And from the depths I've come to object everyone of the best
Detesting the level of text from these so called "eloquent heads"
I rhyme, combustible elements spread till enemies are severed to death
Flesh tethered and stretched till leprosy infected tremors embed
Then piece together an evil sequence of weather with a devilish grin
I blatantly wake the devils within, to escape and address my level of sin
See, I'll never fail or succumb to the frail, leave everyone's lungs full of nails
Breach through skin, I'm reachin' within to make your soul plummet to hell..

[Vandahl.]

Links coming soon..

[Vandahl.]

bumpin this.. gettin links now

[Soule]

You kinda remind me of Messiah or Tactixx. Two topical vets from this site. As far as structure and format goes. Otherwise, pretty nice read dude. The wording got a little awkward in a few lines. Like you switched from a clean English diction to slang outta nowhere in a few places. Kinda through me off a bit. Flow was always fucking ill though. I can tell that's going to be one of your strong points in your writing. This kinda came off as a rant, so I can't wait to see you actually follow a storyline. Keep writing.

[Vandahl.]

thanks fam

[Pontif]

Smooth Read (Not Just Saying That As A Crew Member).

The Flow Was Very Smooth And A Easy Read. The Switch Up With Slang Was Kind Off IMO (As Said Above). The Content Was Basically Of A Rant Also, But Thats What This Soul Purpose Was And Stuck With It. Storyish Type Of Topical Will Go Good With You I Feel. Overall This Was About A 3.5/5 For Good Flow, Decent Content With A Few Flaws.

[Pontif]

Smooth Read (Not Just Saying That As A Crew Member).

The Flow Was Very Smooth And A Easy Read. The Switch Up With Slang Was Kind Off IMO (As Said Above). The Content Was Basically Of A Rant Also, But Thats What This Soul Purpose Was And Stuck With It. Storyish Type Of Topical Will Go Good With You I Feel. Overall This Was About A 3.5/5 For Good Flow, Decent Content With A Few Flaws.

[Chronicler]

Love your vocab and rhymes, as well as the imagery - honestly, you already had me when it started with

..Standing upon a the peak of Olympus..

. However, i didnt really capture the essence of the song. The meaning, so to say - i think i did understand every line, but how all the parts add up to eachother isnt exactly clear to me. Its ofcourse quite possible thats just me Respect for the vocab, again!

[Joe Boston]

yo Real talk this was an ill read nice flow all the way through ill rhyme structure and ill vocab choice.


u killed it here:

Scandalous Grammar, those with ill tongues.. with weapons of tyrants
You'll laugh.. till I telepathically tamper with your molecular alignment
Lyrically summon the Kraken to start shipwrecking you pirates
Shining vibrant, the ideal of depression and aggression united
Always ignored the lessons provided, was too busy, suppressed in my writin'
Instead of drug obsession, I progress in assignments - I'm less than compliant
On a never-ending quest to leave a trident pressed in Poseidon
Of course..we all want a piece of the pie, but no questions; you'd bite it

Much Props u have a good talent keep doing what u do.

rtf:http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...865/index.html

[Vandahl.]

thanks

[Chris Dolmeth..]

This was a harbored and well misconjudicated but brazen development of tainted and skillful artistry.

this part here

..Beneath the crust..

Scandalous Grammar, those with ill tongues.. with weapons of tyrants
You'll laugh.. till I telepathically tamper with your molecular alignment
Lyrically summon the Kraken to start shipwrecking you pirates
Shining vibrant, the ideal of depression and aggression united
Always ignored the lessons provided, was too busy, suppressed in my writin'
Instead of drug obsession, I progress in assignments - I'm less than compliant
On a never-ending quest to leave a trident pressed in Poseidon
Of course..we all want a piece of the pie, but no questions; you'd bite it

is where i really started to enjoy this written..wording in some places was kinda confusing for me son other then that good flow threw-out, also good Vocab that's always a plus keep doing it man i'll be reading more from you!

[Vinzr]

I was really feeling this one mate... you've definitely got some potential. You incorporated multis and had a pretty good rhyme scheme which really made the flow smooth. I liked the story telling in this piece as well and you the rhyme scheme really accompanied and helped accelerate it and turn it up a notch. Overall this was a pretty solid piece.

Check tihs out if you have time; http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...891/index.html

[Vandahl.]

Thanks for the feed.

[Skeptyk ILL]

From The Depths

-
-

..Standing upon a the peak of Olympus..

I rose from the oceans abyss, levitating, I floated adrift
Over Earth's civilizations as cement eroded to crisps!!
The wind's coated by mists, No longer chained or at hold by the wrist
As I remotely code a bomb, to make you explode at the hip
I'm controlling your motion with my mind you're hopin' to shift!!
I strip every devotion by vocally quoting the emotions you spit
Notice my holsters equipped & after that you'll hopefully quit
Cause when the work is done, I go home, to roll me a spliff

..Above the Heavens..

This was a nice opener, it flowed well.. But your imagery was here and there.

I'm Close to the edge, I smirk when I work to dispose of the dead
& for what it's worth, you haven't spit a verse full words to get cred
Hurt then collect, bones get rid of foes gassed like a burp from the chest
Murder and rape a virgin for sex, gettin' off by her squirmin' in red
Piss acid on her, inject worms in her head, let the vermin infest
Inject cyanide so she burns from within, your career yearns to begin
But nope, you can't even learn to defend, when I stab you firm in the leg
Then take control of Earth & make Hitler's armies return from the dead

..Beneath the crust..

Again cool flow and multis, imagery was stronger.

Scandalous Grammar, those with ill tongues.. with weapons of tyrants
You'll laugh.. till I telepathically tamper with your molecular alignment
Lyrically summon the Kraken to start shipwrecking you pirates
Shining vibrant, the ideal of depression and aggression united
Always ignored the lessons provided, was too busy, suppressed in my writin'
Instead of drug obsession, I progress in assignments - I'm less than compliant
On a never-ending quest to leave a trident pressed in Poseidon
Of course..we all want a piece of the pie, but no questions; you'd bite it

..In the Land of the Dead..

Turned into kinda of a flex.. IMO - Still good flow and multis

I'm villainous, so diligent of my militant presence
Fakin' etiquette and expressions for political delegates - Nah
I was sent from the heavens to edit religions typical message
Manifest some pivotal leverage to leave a critical hemorrhage
And for the record...I'll turn every rebel into a literal leper
To stress and test every better minimal deafened pitiful peasant
Cause, instead of frettin' & worshiping cynical reverends
I was forcing paganism upon the young with habitual effort

..I arose from Whirlpool of Souls..

This part I wasn't feeling that much, Iunno flow and multi... AGAIN Cool... But the word placement IMO - Just didn't seem to match the piece. Still a good stanza.

And from the depths I've come to object everyone of the best
Detesting the level of text from these so called "eloquent heads"
I rhyme, combustible elements spread till enemies are severed to death
Flesh tethered and stretched till leprosy infected tremors embed
Then piece together an evil sequence of weather with a devilish grin
I blatantly wake the devils within, to escape and address my level of sin
See, I'll never fail or succumb to the frail, leave everyone's lungs full of nails
Breach through skin, I'm reachin' within to make your soul plummet to hell..



Nice way to end, back on track with the style of the drop you started out with.

Overall - Dope piece, Your getting slept on!

[Mr. Black]

my main problem with this is, besides the last portion MAYBE, you could have interchanged these verses with the different headings (olympus, above the heavens, etc) and it wouldn't have changed the context of the verse. meaning, you didn't connect those with anything, you just kinda used them has cheap transition points between one long self glorifying rant. which is fine but just seems a bit redundant after a while.. idk.. ive read so many verses like this the individual concepts all sort of run together unless they're remarkably original.

don't get me wrong you have a couple one-liners i would consider close to quote-worthy.. i especially was fond of your opener for some reason. i always dig these shits for the most part. it's a nice introduction. now i'm interested if you can get a little more coherent and focused with your writing.

keep doin it.

1