10 lines
due in 1 hour
Jaded
Hollow Cost
10 lines
due in 1 hour
Its simple neighbor, im blowin endo vapors
run in ya window blow out ya temple with my widow maker
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check
Go first, so I know exactly what you mean by 10 lines.
He's high off himself, the steam is goin to J's head
to put it blunt the heat will burn him up and leave Ja ded
when i freestyle it makes this whiney bitch wanna put the bottle to his lips
give him somethin to cry about cuz after he spits he has so swallow
....all 10 off 'Hollow' 'tip'
ill smash ur trashy raps into rubble so disregard his fake rebuttle
my missles will put ur head in the clouds like a space shuttle
my flow is nasty and in harmony jus like them Bone Thugs
ur flow sucks dick, he only has nasty 'lines' when he pick the phone up
....tlking about how he Bone Thugs
this kid is new to the game i can tell he's hungry to see rhymesOriginally Posted by Jaded
waiting patiently for me to drop hooks first, so he could feed off my lines
Its simple neighbor, im blowin endo vapors
run in ya window blow out ya temple with my widow maker
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Alright captain, this is how its gonna happen, I'm slappin' that whack ass verse you call rappin, back in, your face like mace. Bitch hows it taste? Beat me never, My flows outa space. It goes on forever. Sever, ever-ry word you say. I'm better, dont you ever take the time of day, to spit a verse against me. Your too blind too see, can't stay on your feet, better off admitting defeat before i beat, your teeth in to the flow of the beat. Your maker? is me. Scared to meet. can't take the heat. Blast that ass with poisonous gas, till you pray for someone to save you, for you collapse. Cause everything I say is poison. Lets leave it at that. Matter of fact, im aint done yet. Slide, inside your girl cause ill leave her so wet. Stealin, cause she's feelin, everything I said. Talk about murder by death. Catch my breath, and murder you again, on a second set.
Its simple neighbor, im blowin endo vapors
run in ya window blow out ya temple with my widow maker
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So i'm assuming that I need to post links where I left feedback on other battles?
yeahh, 3 links
Its simple neighbor, im blowin endo vapors
run in ya window blow out ya temple with my widow maker
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V- hollow cost
Jaded I see your new, you gotta structure your verse and break it up line by line bar by bar ( a bar is 2 lines, the first is the set up and the second should be the punchline) try to not just make bland statements but instead add wit and humor to ur verse, this factor helps the punches hit harder. Hollow u had punches even though some
of ur concepts were played u still did enough to win though keep droppin'
yo hit up my battle I'd appreciate it
That's why I wanted him to go first because I wanted to see exactly what kinda structure he was talking about...But, breaking it up line by line and bar by bar is just so damn typical. And boring. You can't fit half as many rhymes that way...It's like I'm having to water my shit down.
craming it all together makes it seem cluttered and messy...and you dont know where the bar is gonna end...makes it difficult and the reader uninterested after a while
T.N.T
V/ Hollow
Thats y this is a text battle bro its not necessarily about flow...90 percent of this shit that be on here wouldnt fit on a beat...its a punchline/creativity cypher...u had a nice rhyme scheme but it didnt have ne bang in it...no punchlines AT ALL...and the content was extremely basic...when ur going bar for bar ur bars all chopped up for a beat and dont work for this type of forum mayb when the audio battle forum pops up u would fit into that better....
Hollow was terrible not ne punchlines hit and the 1 that could have was slightly homo and stretched...
both need to elevate...
"the ink of a scholar, is worth a thousand times more, than the blood of a martyr"--lupe fiasco
"I'm sonnin' ya'll like father's day/disrespect pop and get popped like Marvin Gaye" Skillz
WRITTEN VOICES
Yeah, I had a completely different idea of how it was going to be judged. Honestly, I thought having it all 'crammed' together is easier to read and keep interest in. I was going for keeping the flow going.Keeping the rhymes going...Kinda obvious now that I think about it. Its a rap BATTLE. I figured like. Technique battle..I don't know, I smoke alot of weed. ha.
Anyways.
I want a rematch.
You down hollow?
Haha jaded you a cool mofucker in my book. Keep dropping son u can only get better. Just keep in my punches over anything that's what wins you battles. Use your first line to set up your second line. Try to use wordplay for example,
your crew sucks man, these fags are wack with their showing,
named his crew Grand Canyon, no wonder the geyser constently blowing
guys are ... Geyser
that's prettty much what wordplay is a word or set of words that sound like another.. Be very careful though as to force something that doesn't really sound like something else.. Also alot of the more basic wordplay is played as fuck so use at your own risk.
I hope this helped any bud. I'm about to put one in the air myself
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