Amulet of immortality

[_Lyrics]

"ayo! whats good son? come here.. theres this story I heard.. of a crazy set of diamonds, and whoever grabs it is said to be granted life after death..."



[gun switch]
"I'm looking for the amulet!"
[long silence]
..
...
"so you are.."

Bobericc
sparkling dark, I found it under fossils of lost-
souls, formally known as apostles of god's stones..
whatever's not known, is soon to be, jewelry's
stripped like nudity.. Immunity; in tune with me
my cue to leave, the deepest catacomb, killer caverns
boulders triggered, passing over skilled assassins
quick with balance, hassled as arrows catapulted
past my shoulders, and a narrow passage opened
..so with a hop skip and a jump, slid with my run
2 walls stiffened to one, the rock hit with a thump
I witnessed whats done, unruly acts of hideous apes
so many booby traps, not even your titties are safe
never at an idiots pace, I evade the unimagined
the dumbest fuckers action, crusading and multitasking
we're caved in, fully blasted.. so try and take it
its tied behind my minds bind, your lies are aimless
intertwining hatred.. unaccepted to support the legacy
an immortal you'll never be, I'll ensure your entropy
life's falling short and ending weak, for doubting the pen
I use when I have an hour to spend from my overpowering gem
how'd you intend to find my spirit, I had to dive in missions,
and you've never found the hieroglyphics in the wide pacifics
my timeless wishes are too complicated, if your concentrated
with unfocused emotions, shocked and baited.. my brain is
operated... by different sparks of Satan, metamorphize by
the light of god in placement, deaths of pure shine bright
souls are collected cures.. my eyes dry and diluted loose
I am a saluted man to the jewel of truth, pool of youth
how'd you get the clues you knew? I need to know your source
'cause you know my source, its turned me into a soulless force
the coldness courses, crossed into my almost-cyber diatreme
that learns to hide it's dryer heave, fuck what liars try to be
fuck what liars try to see, time is the weakest link
a reapers dream, it seems to me, the future's seen you bleed

..hahahaahaaa...

[long silence]


[multiple shots let off]

Chronos
I seen the future! I come through with the heim and shootcha
more smoke than fiends and hookahs, you know we bring bazookas
your dreams are useless, you really think your a profit?
I blast and swing till I got it, leave what your dropping
I'm taking the amulet, ulti-mate fate in a manuscript
reading the souls, they transmitting into tantrum's and
forever management, I take it, America, than the world
I can be your oyster, you can be my pearl, I told you now
I hold you down, like the gun in my holster, the shotty
under my shoulders, pull it and i'm dumping to roast ya'
dispose ya bones like its kosher, eating your wack raps
just a lab rat in this habitat, my perspective's past ya ass
your an invented parallax trying to see me, pretending it
the source thats gotten me my philosophy's awareness in emptiness
your a scared bitch, its apparent i'm fearless.. ignipotent
omnipotent, heaven sent...... from hell and in again!
proving sense with vigilance, filled with sins, sickening
I'll leave you entering an island to die in like Gilligan
dividing the triangular pyramid, all angle's extravagant
where the mind is divine like Allah but not benevolent
i'm inconsiderate, don't give a shit.. not even a little bit
flip ya lid, see whats inside ya head, and spark your interest
as it intersects the balance of Hindu, observing it for later
like Vishnu, sustaining my brain in preserving the pervader,
concerning the earths creater, the demigod, demiurge,
the semi splurge, I let it pop. your getting shot, i'm ending yours.
this reoccurrence reoccurs..

*rips amulet from bobericc's neck*
"I told you, I'll outlive time itself!"


and as chronos starts walking away, bob gets shot in his face
but what chro didn't know, he got what he takes.. an obvious fake
bob reaches to his pocket and waits, as the bullet wound undo's
the true grudged jewel, grabs the duce duce, and shoots guns too
loaded pistols, chronos riddled by the morality of immortality
turns around 'cause he heard a sound, long living more jealousy
a heavy breathe, both clearly blast, bob has his healing factor
hit chronos in his shoulder, and jumped through the ceiling after..

"noooo... the amulet!!.."

[_Lyrics]

links coming up,
this is a piece from a long time ago I never posted here..

[_Lyrics]

where day at? here day at (srooory)
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...365/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...390/index.html

[emcee danger]

great drop. enjoyed reading this bro. nothing really bad for me to say about it. keep elevating fam. overall, 9/10.

[Mafioso.]

aight overall to be real I dont really like this topic...it was mehish but u wrote to it pretty good....at first i felt like u were too worried about rhyming. focus more on the story and the rhyming would come to u....u had some strong lines though shit i wouldnt of even think off....but like i said if u was tryna make this a topical u shouldve made the story stronger, some lines werent needed u couldve made this piece shorter and that wouldve made it stronger....overall i've seened a lot better from u but decent piece better than most heads but u still couldve done better


plz leave feed on my OM agony.

[Mr. Black]

lmao .. aight bob

i thought it was an idea full of so much potential .. there were a million ways you could have took this. i was expecting an indiana jones castle wall temple dwelling ancient cave inscription decrypting torch holding with gun and sword on the side for the army of the undead type shit. and while you had certain portions here and there (more towards the beginning) which gave me that vibe, the piece as a whole felt a bit too bragadocious too be purely adventurous. you have a tendency that ive noticed to start out a piece dope as fuck and then either lose focus or interest in the specific plotline or topic and kind of stray from it in favor of more flexing type styles. which is cool, your dope either way man .. but its important to keep that focus so the reader can follow it easily and not have to retrace steps to find out what happened by the end.

thats what i found myself having to do. which might say something about my focus too, lol .. but you sort of strayed from this

sparkling dark, I found it under fossils of lost-
souls, formally known as apostles of god's stones..
whatever's not known, is soon to be, jewelry's
stripped like nudity.. Immunity; in tune with me
my cue to leave, the deepest catacomb, killer caverns
boulders triggered, passing over skilled assassins
quick with balance, hassled as arrows catapulted
past my shoulders, and a narrow passage opened
..so with a hop skip and a jump, slid with my run
2 walls stiffened to one, the rock hit with a thump
I witnessed whats done, unruly acts of hideous apes
so many booby traps, not even your titties are safe

honestly, this whole section was DOPE to me .. i could visualize the whole progression. and the last line actually had me laughin too ..

from that point, in terms of mechanics and just good writing, it didn't necessarily go down hill at all .. but in terms of cohesive and clear writing, it sort of faltered a bit for me .. after that it was sort of self hype in a way, as was the second part with chronos, it was more battle-esque even .. which is fine if thats the way you had planned to take it .. it was just not what i expected and maybe would have preferred more action scenes and less character development and flexing technique.

one part that really kinda bugged me was talking about eating his whack raps? how does that even tie in to the amulet of immortality? i mean that boundary between person writing a verse and the character inside should not bleed together imo unless the written itself is about the actual art of writing, or something similar .. feel me

havent read part 2 yet .. might catch that later ..

but overall - great written technically, there were just some issues with keeping a solid and constant perspective the whole time.

keep doin it bobby

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