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Thread: To those with whom are dying

  1. April 24th, 2003, 06:15 PM #1
    deacon
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    To those with whom are dying

    To those with whom are dying---------------------------------------------
    I set all sympathy to your lost passion for trying ----------------------
    a relaxed motion set from the ocean time your weak---------------
    the truth of destination and our souls in which we seek-------------

    Your soul is climbing with the ut most hope for freedom--------------
    open your eyes its not a fallacy that hearts truly believe in him-----
    Fake disgusting liars paste bombs on weak survivors—
    catapult your innocence to the integrity of a minor----

    you have child like faith and with that it’s all you need—
    Your leaving now but tomorrow sets a new light and validates our time to believe ----
    Your loss will not be forgotten with in our mind-body-and sight
    An understanding reprimanding a lost direction like your vision to the night

    Never look back
    Cause days grow older when your alone
    And laughing is just a weird concept built through grief and the pressure to explode----
    So leave today because im a hypocrite tomorrow
    departure is a glimpse set with such sweet sorrow





    Alright here is a piece i just finished hope you likes---also i need more people for my poetry crew get to me
    -1-
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  2. April 25th, 2003, 03:37 PM #2
    deacon
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    upppin

    -1--
    softfocus



    while you write to rapbattles I perform on stage

    How's it feel to lack in comparison?............
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  3. April 26th, 2003, 12:26 AM #3
    Civilized Rebel
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    I was going to reply to this earlier, but I hadn't known of its existence earlier.

    Anyway, this poem really captured your thoughts into words. Very skillfully too. And it gets the point right, people die all the time. And those dying need to be thought about, some people don't think about it at all.

    ~Shalom~
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  4. April 30th, 2003, 01:55 PM #4
    deacon
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    while you write to rapbattles I perform on stage

    How's it feel to lack in comparison?............
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  5. April 30th, 2003, 02:16 PM #5
    Varentao
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    Nicely written...

    ...essence of it all captured so well...with a strong use of imagery and ended well...

    ...nothing else to say really, one hell of a piece..

    ...resp...
    I'm too secure to have a signature.

    Oh.
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  6. April 30th, 2003, 02:47 PM #6
    -IllEsTaNgYeL-
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    ^^ditto...1!

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

    -I LoVe Me SoMe SyNiKaL-
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  7. April 30th, 2003, 08:16 PM #7
    deacon
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    agreee'd lol uppin
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    while you write to rapbattles I perform on stage

    How's it feel to lack in comparison?............
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  8. May 1st, 2003, 04:56 PM #8
    deacon
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    dont sleep on deacon now not polite
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    while you write to rapbattles I perform on stage

    How's it feel to lack in comparison?............
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  9. May 7th, 2003, 01:16 AM #9
    deacon
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    uppin for some replys

    -1-
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    while you write to rapbattles I perform on stage

    How's it feel to lack in comparison?............
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  10. May 7th, 2003, 09:13 PM #10
    deacon
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    while you write to rapbattles I perform on stage

    How's it feel to lack in comparison?............
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  11. May 7th, 2003, 09:17 PM #11
    Bloom.Quist
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    really felt this one man, ya had good vocab and a nice flow, keep it up and spit some more, i'd like to see em
    Po'Ethics - Est. 2004



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  12. May 7th, 2003, 11:46 PM #12
    ThatDamBoone
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    that aint bad but im not much a poetry critic, im just ridin thru
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  13. May 8th, 2003, 12:37 AM #13
    Eviley
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    i felt this one... i really likez it ... got into the flow of it....
    "Heaven sees no rage like love to hatred turn, no hell a fury like a Woman scorned
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  14. May 8th, 2003, 10:44 PM #14
    Bloom.Quist
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    hey wondering bout ure poetry crew thing....im a newbie to rb but i wouldnt mind hearing bout it...reach me and send me a message

    peace out
    Po'Ethics - Est. 2004



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