Watch Your Back

[SirusX 2.0]

wad up bz, damn its been a min but fa realz im still think bout you an your fine self
whats good gurl. thinkz youz and me shuld chillz get stuupid yadda
ive actualy ben in a bad perdikament and need your help i need $$$
you shuld callz this # and leave yourself a fine ass message and ill call you back

heres a lil rap bout the time i got jacked
it was wack lemme tell you i wasnt prepared
impared sure ive been there but on the move
i was broke had no booze had no smoke
didn know what to think besides pussy and a smoke
got lit got loccd got pissed got roped
got pussy got smoke got moneyy oh the money
back the the funny part of this
i was chillin with a chick she was fly
one blink of the eye
i was shy on her reply she had me shook
something bout her pretty face the way she look away
it mighta been the day either way i was feelin it
she was like homeboy i know your dealin it whatever let me getta taste
i was like wateva get out myface not today no way no how
then i go wow, one look damn she got the know how
blaow i raise a brow tada tadow im in a bow
may i serve you, im feelin hella pervved too what'd you do?
she said i put a curse on you

she said i put a curse on you
im like yeah well
i bet you wont like what this buzz do
and besides you cool i aint tryna fix u


medic man black sedan x marks the spot im early with the rental van
emdeded i ment it blue magic brown cow brawnz heart white owl
bite down mother fucka bite down

[SirusX 2.0]

lol

[Calli]

this was kind of randome.......

not bad the scheme was different, but i worked.....didnt like some of the repeting lines, seemed over done. was not a bad read though. think you could have also catered to the reader a lil bit more. simple is good, but being a lil deeper woudl do you well here.

Keep writing.

[2triple0]

i really enjoyed this piece...it was fresh and needs to be read a couple times for any reader to understand it, because there are so many techniques you were using to create a world for what seemed to be some sort of drug dealer who was telling a story to a girl that he used to get with about himself getting locked up after he was robbed by some hoods... then the story flashes back to the girl and she is trying to get some drugs off this dude and he won't give her any and then she says she put a curse on him... then ending was fire i loved the flow and the rhyme scheme wording was great and i even enjoyed how some of the spelling wasn't correct... the story was on topic, and the rhyme scheme was really cool... to tell you the truth, i've been thinking about this story all day today, because something real similar happened to me when i tried to get a twenty sack (lol anyways i feel this story a lot because i totally related to it, it reminds me of this town that i live nearby called south hylton... so i really enjoyed this piece and i was really looking forward to reading it days before i even did, because i was experiencing the rhyme before i even seen it, which is some incredible shit! that was really powerful that you were capable of writing something like that... alright peace out man words are weapons

[Cody Nash]

you of all people know the rules. post links or don't post at all.