Through My Mind...

[Martian]

Through My Mind....



Through my mind I can paint Pictures of Destruction,
My Debris of Thought Blows my Brain into Concussion,
Blacked out i only can See the colors of Cause an affect,
No bodies only broken glass on tall Buildings Erect,
Alone in Dream world I walk my Destruct Path,
Feeling power as the Living I once knew felt my wrath,
Evaporated Souls of particle Objects fills the air,
I coughed an caused damage of what Life Considers fair,
The Darkness represents my dark side taking over,
The Picture represents my hateful life as rubble hover(s),
The debris represents Life’s obstacles I destroyed in steams,
The small window represents my escaped dreams,
But as the darkness fill my mischievous mind Black,
I start to loose track of thought I can’t look back,
What I seen was hurtful destructive my words my mind powerful,
Paint my Feelings Frame my hatred god pray to keep me soulful
I’m engulfed inside my jailed train of thought,
I can’t escape it I feel lost I feel as if I’m caught,
But through my mind I can paint an escape see?,
Notice the black closed window…. Through it I’m free,
But only if I can reach it before completely covered in darkness....
I’m reaching; I’m floating to the window but came short of the seal,
I looked down an seen emptiness its cold I felt the fear take a deal,
With my failure I fall head first in the pits I awake in scream,
People look at me sweating, panting from a day dream,
I looked down to my desk to find a picture with colors loud as chime(s),
…….I started to stare in shock at the debris frozen in time,
To come to realize I wasn’t daydreaming but painting a picture with my mind…
Its not about your failures… its what you can learn from it…




LINKS:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...285/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...843/index.html

[MADDNES53]

good piece. inspirational. art is cathartic.

I can’t escape it I feel lost I feel as if I’m caught,
But through my mind I can paint an escape see?,

keep writing.

[Martian]

thankx upping

[Rivalyn]

Evaporated Souls of particle Objects fills the air,
I coughed an caused damage of what Life Considers fair,

Favorite Line.




Overall: Okay asia this drop was actually good to me. I liked the vocab in here, you balanced it pretty well threw out the verse, not to much but jsut enough to keep people wondering. You should try to add more multies in your drops because on some line sit seems to me that they always fall short, But anyway this was a well written drop. Keep it up.



-Meta/dose

[Martian]

Thanks an ok then i will

[Martian]

bump

[Dark Raiyne]

some parts kinda threw me, maybe it's your style of writin.. probably will make more sense to me.. not use to that type of style.. but it was on point. I'll check it out again later.. right now I'm high as hell and my peoples in here wylin... so my concentration a little off

[KnowP]

AH HA!! I knew this joint looked familiar!! J/K. good drop ma. you know what it is...

[AlphaMetric]

i like this.... i think this is original in it owns self... went great with the picture..... your wording cant seem to be more on point..... but at times... the flow went off... but in all in all... nice piece....

[Martian]

Thankx

[sILLable]

ill drop...your vocab was on point,very fitting,not overly complex but def above average...nice wording,structure was solid,more multis would have made a better read,but over all your imagery was what shone brightest to me,it painted vivid pictures that stained my memory,nice drop feelin the transition from poetical to topical OM...sick.keep droppin hottness.and hit up the two pieces in my sig,especially Karmas not broken,that ones gettin slept on like crazy