Average JOe

[Soul.]

Average Joe

Day in day out i work as an office technician
mundane type a plain life is my strongest affliction
its almost addiction, to livin life in pastel colours
3 asshole brothers who drive fast cars with attractive lovers
My past is smothered, all my life i been told not to take risks,
stay in school, work ya whole life and dont say shit
and you'll make it, avoid conflict, stay on the right track
But i been so desparate just to fight back, that my mind cracked
Yet i still took it all on the chin, with a wink and a grin
now i had the same wink and a grin since i think i was ten
is it ridiculous then, that the grin may have been a grimace
and tha wink was a twitch, and that a man has his limits
and that my limits have been broken - oh, im actin ridiculous now?
Well if u readin this im lying dead, whos ridiculous now?
One click and kapow and all i left is a lesson in life
Its better to live for the day and die than let it fester at night

Mummy whered daddy go? i wanna know now mummy
how come he, didnt tuck me in last night, how mummy?
Mummy why u cryin, its ok, maybe hes workin late,
he tells me hes an important man, maybe he had some work to take
care of. Yeah, maybe hes on a secret agents secret mission
Maybe he has to save the world, and even though we will miss him
We have to belive in whats right, cause good always wins the day
Listen hey, i know that mum, and im only in the second grade
come on mummy take me away from this, all these people are sad
and its makin me sad, And i dont wanna be sad, i wanna be glad
And i dont wanna hear the minister speak mummy
I'd rather take a day trip, can we visit the beach mummy
I think it'd be funny, while the world is in daddy hands
We could get grammy grams, and go eat sandy yams
play candy land untill daddy returns, so theres no need for ya cries mummy
then its us 3 toghether whatever for the rest of our lives mummy

[Soul.]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...es-388398.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...-386353p5.html

[Sting3r]

i remember this from IHH..

nice drop..

that wink/grin thing you had was nice.. i think the story could have been revised.. but this was good.

[Lurid]

the beginning of this piece was hot i really felt the first verse i felt like it could have had a little better word play and some higher vocab with less filler but overall it was pretty good and i really enjoyed the flow.

the second verse just didnt hit me as hard. the rhymes seemed a little more forced and the story just kinda went in a weird direction. i wasnt feeling all the mummy and daddy stuff honestly.

anyways if you could leave some feed on my OM THE PHOTO (link in my sig) i would appreciate it