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Thread: We Are Virus.

  1. #1
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    We Are Virus.


    We Are Virus.
    Written By:Ntalek
    ft. LedgenZ and Lecomp


    Self-destruction. Birthed from the motherboard,
    were what we'd become towards our compeers.
    Guided by falsified data entered into our hard-drive.
    Scanning sites of life with cold eyes which breach
    the firewalls of governed systems. Corrupted files
    displayed with every seconds click. We are flies,
    trapped in a world wide web of manipulation and
    injustification. A double click away, from a lifetime of
    troubles. Processed letters and numbers describe us best.
    The trees grow tall.We are no longer in need of the once popular
    sheets of paper that brung the human race to it's demise.
    As we backspace through the steps of humanity.
    Shifting to a CAPS LOCK state of mind we call thinking big.
    Tabulated spaces grow a mile wide when seeing through
    a different window. No matter which key is pressed with alt
    we just can't seem to escape the madness.

    Hidden desk icons.
    Things that don’t exist in the start menu.
    I can’t remember how to get into registry edit.
    My mental state has no autonomy, it is subject
    to the sovereignty of the fourth dimension, but my
    spirit is 3-D. Put the Sun over one eye and the Moon
    over the other if you want to see my special effects.
    I can darken flesh and pull drowning to shore. I just
    can’t seem to remove this virus from my system, I
    slit my wrist but only manage to stall and crash. I
    rebooted to sutures. The doctor performed a new
    window operation and gave me vista. This outlook
    sucks but it’s better than the one I had b4. I no longer
    feel that life owns me. Freedom is an underground
    slave. "You better run nigger", cuz if I catch you and
    remember why I was chasing you, I am sure and ass
    -whooping will be in order. I need and upgrade but
    but cannot afford bling, it only weighs down my
    already grounded self-esteem. I am in meltdown.
    & I don’t want to be buried in China, because they
    give their own suns away. Imagine me, being deleted.


    Our image is constantly updating like a graphics card,
    Becoming so expensive that only a few can keep track
    Of the latest edition. Regardless of how modern this
    Technology is deemed to be, this does not mean that
    The most cutting-edge equipment, is always the most efficient.
    Unfortunately for us, there is no system restore to allow us to go
    Back in our lives and alter the inputs that effected
    Our dire outputs, the processes that we go through
    Are simply irreversible. Humanity is taking up too
    Much of Earth’s bandwidth, and it is basically
    Impossible to upgrade her hardware, in the
    Same way it is impossible for Mother Nature to
    Undergo cosmetic surgery. If only a spell-check could
    Rearrange us all, putting us back where we needed
    To be in order to fit back onto the planet.
    Soon we will all be uninstalled, setting up a memory
    Wipe that will allow Earth to start with a clean slate,
    Birthing yet another virus in the process.


    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ou-366083.html
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...te-366514.html
    Last edited by Ntalek; April 22nd, 2008 at 10:23 AM

  2. #2

  3. #3

    Re: We Are Virus.

    Manwtf, upping.

  4. #4
    Written Voices Jon's Avatar
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    Re: We Are Virus.

    damn, man fuck you ntalek... you gotta leave a link to a dope ass piece. i don't even know what to tell ya'll; uh... 'its dope'. lol you know what this piece was.. but yeah... i won't leave a lot of feed but i liked ledges verse the best, just the flow and the content. the lyrics are crazy... thought provoking. but i liked every verse - why wouldn't ya'll throw me in on this... but hey - dope shit, thanks for the read and the feed.

    EDIT: ntalek you had a nice part, but - you didn't have fullblown metaphores that would sweep my mind... feel me? i think you need to spend more time trying to develope them, and perfecting your experement. you could've made it a smoother read, but shit, it was pretty good either way you look at it.

    lecomp - you had some nice metaphores, similies, pretty much everything you need in a basic piece of poetry. you're newer here, but you must've been writing for a while because this didn't seem unpolished AT ALL. pretty smooth, nice structure, nice piece.

    ledge... - you kept it simple, but still killed it. i'm not one to hop on a sack, but your writing lately has amazed me. it seems effortless, but you still exersize my mind... thought provoking, if thats what you wanna call it. you had real nice streaks, and crazy basics. so... good shit..
    Last edited by Jon; April 25th, 2008 at 05:53 PM
    Artificial.Intelligence

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  5. #5
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    Re: We Are Virus.

    -edit- I luh Jon.
    Last edited by Ntalek; April 23rd, 2008 at 10:54 PM

  6. #6
    Written Voices Jon's Avatar
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    Re: We Are Virus.

    dude, i got you...

    that's just a little feed for now, i'mout of this in 10.

    i'm writing a little for my IE now...

    i'll edit this later.
    Artificial.Intelligence

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  7. #7
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    Re: We Are Virus.

    ups.

  8. #8
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Re: We Are Virus.

    Like last time I told you Lecomp and you go so well together *yes homo lol.Together ya'll had a great deal of emotion on top of some dope ass vivid imagery that could not be overlooked in this read.With ya'll to parts by itself this could of been hof.BUT damn you had to add Ledge to just rip it even more.He came as he always do unbelivable.He brought everything you guys did with a little more added skill level if you digg what I'm saying.The picture also was a nice addition to the emotion and made me get a better understaning of the read.Overall this shit was just plain out fucking dope one of the best pieces I've read this month in this section.Now sonz you and Lecomp please feed my new piece its pretty dope if you ask me.Might not add up to this lol but still dope so yeah peep it.GOOD SHIT.THE DOPEYS.
    Kiss me through the camera lens.
    TNL

  9. #9
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    Re: We Are Virus.

    Lecomp and Ntalek like Nyce said go together very well then you throw in Legendz its over. This was a great piece by three very great writers and I really think this is one of the better pieces I have read this week. The emotion was there and I really loved the computer metaphors. I really loved the imagery as well. I could not even find a part of this poem I can honestly say I don't like because this piece was excellent from beginning to end. the opening stanza grabbed my attention and ushered me through the last stanza. I was loving this piece very much Overall, the imagery and the computer metaphors took over this piece and ran with it. and I really don't know what else to honestly say about this piece but HOF Nom.

    Last edited by Know-It-All; April 30th, 2008 at 01:43 AM

  10. #10
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    Re: We Are Virus.

    iups.

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