Swings.

[Messiah.]

Swings.

You know it swings; the pendulum of time,
up there, sat upon a variety of decadence and skill -
but when your down and troubled, and that saving;
helping hand is there to guide you, the opposite
side of the pendulum looks bright, and that -
coarse of hatred fades evanescently away.

Transfixed on what hand life will deal me next,
I feel im shrinking - delving into insanity;
where im beginning to surpass the twilight of -
everyday life and become hooked so much on
poverty and sin, and that emotional distress,
That i'm turning into an entranced narcotic.

My plea's falling upon deaf ears, the darkness that
comes with living is looking evermore obsessive.
Through my depression and grief and my -
distillary of thoughts, i am vapidly downspiralling
into the depthly hallows of suicide.

Its beggining to look clear - that i'm going deluded,
but im swinging yet again into a potraying of stenciled dreams.
Where i once looked bleak, i differentiate;
for no longer i squeek... and the untolarble feeling is lifted.

I realise that when substancial equivalents amount,
don't wallow within the shadows nor wield,
make your dementors take the backward step -
for your life is constantly back and forth...
it just simply swings; the pendulum of time.

Work out your salvation without fear of trembling.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ns-364073.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...on-363389.html

[Brandon Cee]

Ayo, welcome back, this is ab0ve. Nice job here, I think some of your wording fucked you up a bit, but overall, it was a slick written piece. I notice this is your IE piece, but try to drop some new stuff if you can. I'm interested in the topic you chose, but at first, it seems hard to grasp and the flow isn't very "flow-like" in my mind. Anyways, good shit Thomas. Peace.

hit this...
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...as-364649.html

[Messiah.]

Word thanks for the feed man, i know its been a while but it'll come back. Thanks again.

[Ntalek]

Word this was a tight drop..but as stated above some of your word choice's seemed a bit iffy here and there..but the emotion was nice as was the imagery....I liked how you played the topic and concept..overall it was a good read...nothing spectacular..but decent though..

[Brandon Cee]

Word thanks for the feed man, i know its been a while but it'll come back. Thanks again.

Don't forget to hit my link, ty.

[Dayvid Aimz]

I peeped this in Ie i think...it was an okay piece but it just seemed to not have that oomph....it wasn't a truly interesting read to me..
in places the vocab was drab and the topic got kinda boring.
It wasn't played or anything but I feel you didn't spice it up enough.

my fav lines tho were these:

Transfixed on what hand life will deal me next,
I feel im shrinking - delving into insanity;
where im beginning to surpass the twilight of -
everyday life and become hooked so much on
poverty and sin, and that emotional distress,
That i'm turning into an entranced narcotic.

I think that was the second stanza////i was feeling these lines alot.