Invisible inc.

[Morbid Dream]

Invisible inc.

I sit and think about the critic in pink
Has his ideal view and so discredits my things
Looks at my verse like a patch of invisible ink
Its Incredible in my o-pi-ni-on since
Most verses posted in this page differ to you
And the rest in pink vests from your same institute
I bring a clue to ya just to spring some things to view
Me and you we’re different ‘cept we mutually disapprove

Invisible inc. That’s my clique. I’m incorporated
Orchestrated the greatest rap forum ever created
Import and pasted pics with lyrics to bore the takers
Ignored and hated but I’m still the source to the famous
I’m the fan so let me ride along before your forsaken’
Withdraw my papers and leave you poor and degraded
Power to the invisible, and fuck the porno makers

My work of art portrays with perfect spark
The emotion in me, fuck Van Gogh, Plato and Bach
My earnest heart is from where my sermon starts
Bring virgin tarts a reason to burst there cervix apart
So my diary entry differs to the nerds from Harvard
Pink shirted fart asses with purchased smarts
Bitch I walked the streets so that I could learn the craft

[Morbid Dream]

LINKS

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...el-357790.html

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ka-357217.html

[Cody Nash]

decent piece. seems more like a rant than anything, and your flow got crazy jumbled up towards the end. dunno, the piece wasn't interesting to me to be honest, but it wasn't bad at all. it was just a random/bland topic, and you wrote pretty well to it. nothing too impressive, but it's bad by no means. keep writing, choose your topics better though man.


- Nashness......

[The Vortex]

My earnest heart is from where my sermon starts
Bring virgin tarts a reason to burst there cervix apart

ha that was hott. flow was good mostly i reckon, the topic could of been more intense and graphic using more imagery to give it more effect..
rhymes was nice, internal workings was tite..all in all this was a decent piece that would of been better with a bit more creativty added to the subject matter,


pz

[Novelist]

I thought it was really good. It seemed that its three different pieces to make one piece. Its like you chose one topic, invisible inc, and wrote three different opinions about it, not sure if you really ment it. After i read the first part it was like you started over. I think and this is just me you should seperate them and wright a middle and end. I like reading it tho.

[.SuiGeneris.]

This was a cool drop, more of a let your pen flow than thinking before you write cause the idea's where every where. It wasn't bad, I just think you should stay consent and the transaction from one idea to another was like wha, but your flow and word-usage was good. Keep writing.

[Engivale]

Haha at you getting mad @ me for no RTF, guess I do that so it's deserved, but I don't remember you leaving many links and usually I'm pretty good about hitting up ppl but sorry if you feel raw about it, you certainly do check a lot of my pieces out and I appreciate it... it's what I'm here for... onto your piece, I guess.

I sit and think about the critic in pink
Has his ideal view and so discredits my things
Looks at my verse like a patch of invisible ink
Its Incredible in my o-pi-ni-on since
Most verses posted in this page differ to you
And the rest in pink vests from your same institute
I bring a clue to ya just to spring some things to view
Me and you we’re different ‘cept we mutually disapprove

^^^the opener kind of led me to believe you were just talking about how ppl don't read your work, funny enough. It flowed nice, though, that was a plus, definitely, I guess you're kind of using the invisible thing as your metaphor for nobody sees you... clever kind of "goddamnit you assholes!" piece.

Invisible inc. That’s my clique. I’m incorporated
Orchestrated the greatest rap forum ever created

^^^my fav bar, nicely done. Some of the rest of the verse didn't rhyme up all that well, it was... I dunno, patchy. Like you lost the feel of it, the end of it is really off and makes the piece kind of end on a low note, but you've got some potential in it... just seemed to get a lil sketchy.

Drunk writing maybe? LoL. Keep writing. Sorry I don't look out 2 much, I'm busy as shit and don't really dig into other writers too much anymore.

[Morbid Dream]

Thanks dude. I've been losing interest lately, but now I'm trying to get into the groove again.

[Man of Steel Man]

ha...its funny i just dropped a joint that had sort of the message your opener did. your flow was nice and you put your ideas down rather well and your emotion was well used here, it gets annoying when people kind of form their opinions based off someone else cause they are too lazy to form their own...so i liked this piece..it was right on time...and the mechanics where cool as well...keep it up.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ps-357925.html

^check this out if you can

[Ink Poyzin]

decent piece, my nig. the flow was good. see i dont
mind pieces like this... where theres no real meaning
and all your doing is basically representing.. mixed
emotions and shit.. anyhow.. not bad for such a
short piece... see.. pieces like this should definitely
be longer.. being that in something like this theres
so much shit you can say.. say to other people..
or even just babble about shit that upsets you..
theres just so much more you could've dragged
this piece towards but didnt... overall..
good job.. the flow wasn't choppy.. so..
peace out, my nig.. keep writin'.

[Dayvid Aimz]

Thanks dude. I've been losing interest lately, but now I'm trying to get into the groove again.

I know how you feeling far as that goes.......but you're a really good writer...your style is spunky and fresh...I like your flow.....
these lines were so original and distinct:

Invisible inc.

I sit and think about the critic in pink
Has his ideal view and so discredits my things
Looks at my verse like a patch of invisible ink
Its Incredible in my o-pi-ni-on since
Most verses posted in this page differ to you
A/nd the rest in pink vests from your same institute............
Could you tell me what the pink thing meant...was it a writing device used for you to be subliminal.......or was it just there cause ya style is real eccentric???
was it symbolic?
nice rhyme
.rating: 7.9/10

[Morbid Dream]

Gay rich nerds in expensive shirts. Probably have a stack of George Micheal CD's.

The pink shirt is kind of metaphor.

[R. Foster]

Nice piece here. Seems like just a thrown together mesh of ranting and boasting, which isn't a bad thing by any means. Nice flow in here, especially the last verse. Bring virgin tarts a reason to burst their cervix apart was dope to me, rhyme scheme and just gritty-wise. Other wise, some aight shit, multis here and there, not really consistent, but dope flow.

Pz.

[the_origin]

nice piece. flow was good. vocab good and you stuck to the topic

lines i liked


I bring a clue to ya just to spring some things to view
Me and you we’re different ‘cept we mutually disapprove

My work of art portrays with perfect spark
The emotion in me, fuck Van Gogh, Plato and Bach
My earnest heart is from where my sermon starts

[INFINITE.A]

"Invisible inc. That’s my clique. I’m incorporated
Orchestrated the greatest rap forum ever created"

that line flowed great. it did get jumbled up
i liked the metas and the topic was on. over all a good job
8/10