Wk4/ Estacado (2-0) vs. Twixn (1-2)

[Born To Kill]

Ok, Gentlemen, week 4 is upon us...
It's a smaller group of participants this round.
Too many no-shows...let's see if we get more activity without em!

If reminding is needed...it goes like this...

Check in by Wednesday...or YOU LOSE! No exceptions...
At the time of check in drop the topic you wanna write about...
It can be about anything...this shit is about you, the person, you the writer...
What you have inside you that you wanna get out in written word.
Be it your shitty week, the story of you and your girl...
Your inner-most hatred, your ultimate adventure...
Whatever.
BUT MAKE SURE YOU LET YOUR TOPIC BE KNOWN AT TIME OF CHECK IN.
This is to reduce the chances of you waiting until the last minute...
Then posting up an old piece you wrote 3 years ago.
I REALLY hope you don't do shit like that...please write fresh, aight!

Maximum 36 lines...if you drop more, your opponent can request a DQ...
AND HE'LL GET IT! Please keep these verses fairly quick and easy to read.
That'll keep votes and interest going!

Due Friday, Midnight.

That's all, I guess...please tear this shit up!!!

Peace and good luck!!!
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[Twixn...]

chizeck.

whats up.

[Kuekuatsheu™]

Check, Sup Twixn. Hopefully your comp doesn't fuck up this time. That sucked for both of us.

Topic: By Your Side

[Kuekuatsheu™]

By Your Side

Lost in forever lasting Romanticism,Guess we're trapped
Friends of Love's Divine in Tinsel Town is where I'm at
The never ending journey to a heart fulfilled never met
Accompanied by Goods & Fellowship led me to Death
Seeked refuge in Beauty but denied by the thought of
Being lost in the belly of the beast & enemy of love
Prayers on this journey brought recognition in my need
Discovery of an empty book,Bestowed the name..
....................Good Deeds
Apparitions & a scenery clearly made of glass, a window
Slight reflections of a person lost in hell.....a widow
Her soul enlarged by the horrid fact she's lost & now
She'll be held in contempt for coveting love's unbound
A cupping of hands brings a smile to her face..soul & soul
My finger tips rub against her palm...young to old
Her life is restored to a state of seeing her wrong & doubts
God pleased...a quick heave of burdens..a check & now its
Back to the sins I've committed & a weakening attitude
Good Deeds on my side,The prize for displaying gratitude
Is one in a million on the wings of an Angel I'm blowin
Past the crowd of heathens & hands on the clouds flowin
Through my life is like how could I ever be mad at you
Instead of the poorest of poor,a separate path I went through
Gleaming streams of forgiveness has Beauty on my mind
She never said be greedy but Knowledge left me to find
Wanting more than what Good's had to offer would leave
Me here to throw up my wrongs....so on my knees I heave
& press palms to the one who never left me in harms way
Death no bribery but would you be so kind to come another day?

[Twixn...]

I Wait

so i took my time..
to reiterate my lifestory and stow away time
but here you where, my hopes life and shine
throw clay into the design, watch the words define
so i can grip your optimism for a second or nine
cause at ten, the countdown fades and i melt away
to face this day, without you here to stay,
babe i can make it fade away without a razor blade
i'm the scorching shade, that protects the golden maid
just lead me through this faze, so i can tell you my true feelings
above this cealing and below my kneeling
i can drip and drop in healing without a a single drop of bleeding
just stop deceiving, and see the peacfull simplicity
its this city thats simple and gritty...
not ur complexity that brings forth perpetual settings
the best of many....

i hang my head here an wait...
misplaced and remolding shapes...
surrounded by tiles and white flakes
im a maze of images and reflected fate

i'll wait here for you to come, no way i could fear her
cause here i've been forever ur bedroom mirror.

[Cody Nash]

twix, good read man... although i did stumble a bit on misspellings and once on a repetative "a a" in there, the piece wasn't bad at all. didn't much expect that ending, made me smile a bit when it ended for some reason because then some things that didn't make sense to me just kind of fell into place. liked the idea, good stuff.



jackie, yours was just kind of old fashioned to me... the wording, everything... it also had a kind of stale flow to it that I didn't enjoy... some lines seemed like you wrote them just because it rhymed with the previous sentence making it seem forced... the concept was okay, and the piece itself was alright... just didn't grab me in or anything, I felt like I HAD to read the piece when I kept reading it... dunno, could be me we'll see I guess.


okay battle, but to me an obvious winner....




vote Twixn...

[Kuekuatsheu™]

It was actually my take on Sir Gawain The Green Knight & Everyman.
Two pieces of modern literature. To grab it you would have to read those two or just have an understanding of death, allegories & the consequences of your actions.

[Chris Black]

Sorry to give a loss on only one vote, Estacado. Everyone needs to vote & encourage voting to avoid this shit.

Estacado, 2-1
Twixn, 2-2