Wk4/ Mindless (1-0) vs. Silas (0-0)

[Born To Kill]

Ok, Gentlemen, week 4 is upon us...
It's a smaller group of participants this round.
Too many no-shows...let's see if we get more activity without em!

If reminding is needed...it goes like this...

Check in by Wednesday...or YOU LOSE! No exceptions...
At the time of check in drop the topic you wanna write about...
It can be about anything...this shit is about you, the person, you the writer...
What you have inside you that you wanna get out in written word.
Be it your shitty week, the story of you and your girl...
Your inner-most hatred, your ultimate adventure...
Whatever.
BUT MAKE SURE YOU LET YOUR TOPIC BE KNOWN AT TIME OF CHECK IN.
This is to reduce the chances of you waiting until the last minute...
Then posting up an old piece you wrote 3 years ago.
I REALLY hope you don't do shit like that...please write fresh, aight!

Maximum 36 lines...if you drop more, your opponent can request a DQ...
AND HE'LL GET IT! Please keep these verses fairly quick and easy to read.
That'll keep votes and interest going!

Due Friday, Midnight.

That's all, I guess...please tear this shit up!!!

Peace and good luck!!!
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[Silas]

Sup Mindless,

Topic - Coimng to an End.

[Moniker]

Hey, a CT head. Nice.

Topic: Freedumb

[Moniker]

"Freedumb"
http://www.teamarequipa.net/blog/gre...sus-735469.gif


If I was a immigrant, then my doom would be imminent.
Wait, give me a minute...
Ok.
Send me back to the beginning...

When tolerance was modeled by big business who ignored social causes,
storing illegal documents next to the bill of wrongs
that sounded right when they cut their loses.
The bastards who've mastered the clauses and jump through loop holes
like a circus in pin-striped suits tied down by donkeys and elephants.
Who don't place faith in the message they portray to the youth
just placate the fake perception that we can tolerate oppression
pressin' in on all sides to coincide with regression.
It's the return of the have not's less we best the system,
and test the locks we bore when we lost the will to explore
the borders of the New World that had no order.
Sober up soldier, it's time the natives vacate and take bullets
for their pagan ways. So wave the flag in the name of rape,
like it's all you have to grab hold of besides the holy love
for a country established on the principles of religious gimmicks,
tricked into seeming valid when they landed at plymouth.
Throw away your rifles and aim your bible at the nearest brothel
in hopes to spark revival for any unbelievers who may be in denial
and haven't arrived at the foot of the cross-hairs to pray for survival.
The colonies deserve an apology for our squandering of their heritage,
it's imperative we declare independence
from this united plague and spare the kids.
Cause there'll be no more mouths to feed, just the greed
of the present president to attack for a lack of oil
when we could be digging for it on our own soil,
but the spoils of war are so much more enticing when our vices bring
about the need for weaponry to defend what is considered a christian nation
that hasn't been judged except by it's own supreme court.
Time to count your blessing before we're made accountable
for messing up the entire earth, just so you and yours can hit pay dirt;
paving the way towards america's dreams, which means all it's citizens are asleep.

WAKE THE FUCK UP! Liberties blind cause it's eyes have bled shut.
don't let apathy construct more monuments to honor nonsense
while our government bombs the threat of revolution
called in when Jesus was given white skin and a blonde whig;
holding a cigarette between two fingers that were meant to hold a peace sign instead.


* A few lines over the limit but I don't expect Silas to DQ me for it. I can always shorten it up if necessary.

[Silas]

Word, mindless gave me an extension so i'll be dropping sometime today.

[Silas]

Coming to an End
By: Silas

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v3...explosion1.jpg

Peoples lifes on the lines, every day is not promised
Sitting steady thinking, how fatal our lives is
Just the other day your living, the next day your gone
Your kids are on the streets, and your friends say stay strong
War in Iraq, innocent people dying for our country
Little does Bush know, that these soldiers also have families
"Mommy & Daddy", is what the kids cry out to their parents
Daddy goes to war, and Mommy doesnt even think he cares and
The dad says "im doing whats right", but she doesnt understand
"Dont go!" is what she commands, they had their whole marriage planned
Destructions and explosions, people having sex without a trojan
Peer pressure is what they give you, but you gotta stay focused
Everywhere you go there's something thats going wrong
There is where you dont belong, but you want the problem solved
You watch the news, not satifisied, but you dont help
Your fat ass sits on the couch, complains, knowing the problems not dealt
Life is reality, reality is to life, why cant things just be right?
Everyday is a new struggle to us, each day we must fight
People dying every minute, telling families he wont be coming home tonight
Flames ignite, since when does people stop being so damn polite?
Your friends on parole, caught with drugs, hes on the run
Hes just another one, whos wrong path has just begun
Your just another human being on this earth, helping wont solve the problem
So you sit there in distrot, saying "God Bless Them"
Nothing you can do, I guess the problem doesnt appeal to you
So when I tell you to get involved and help, my words are untrue
You think to much freedom is a problem, what life do we pursue?
So you sit there and think, while I'll tell you
What the world has come to..

[Erun.]

Mindless…Original flow…it was hard to catch at times cause you didn’t put the proper indentation where it was necessary to make it smoother, but it was original nonetheless. I found your topic of choice boring as hell man, sorry, I’ve heard these rants and raves of speeches so many times…this had a mix of Immortal technique and Slug mixed into it…and some of your lines were stretched with too many fillers. I like the message and I thought you finished off strongly. I think if you paid more attention to your structure and punctuation the verse would’ve been top notch. Good drop.

Silas… I think compared to Mindless verse, you had the external part of the society and mindless had the internal part. Your lines were stretched, your flow was choppy, and the topic wasn’t very original bro. I know it sounds like I’m hating on you but seriously, I’m not, just some constructive criticism. Think to yourself, if you were to read it, would you say to yourself, wow that’s original, or would you have just said heard it before……think of that every time your about to write something.
I thought both verses were ok at best. But I think mindless just edged out cause of his flow style and some of the content.

Vote – Mindless

[warsaw deluxe]

Again I don't know if I can vote so delete this if I can't cuz I'm not in the league.

Mindless verse was really nice. I liked the off-rhymes in the beginning, it was pretty dope reading it and waiting to see where the rhyme would connect, but the flow didn't fall off. The topic is dope, I've seen people not do it justice, but I think you covered it pretty nicely, my favorite part was the "oil/soil" couplet. In a verse with an off-rhyme scheme, that one hit hard cuz it was short and compact.
Silas verse was nice too. It was like the same topic but on a broader level, talkin about war but them society at large too. I thought the trojan line was a stretch and the rhyem scheme didn't match Mindless who did the topic more jsutice and had a more powerful verse. Good battle but I got Mindless taking it

[Cody Nash]

silas, look... you're shaking off rust and you're coming back into this shit so I'm gonna tell you straight up. I didn't like a lot of it and it just lacked to me. It was a good piece, but it was so jumbled and the flow was just off. you did better before you left the site and i believe you can reach that point again if you keep shaking. you're a real experienced writer as it is, so shaking the rust shouldn't take that long for you anyways. the concept is just played out, and you didn't really write anything that I haven't read in similar form before about our world coming to an end... i got much love for ya man, and I wouldn't be a friend if I wasn't honest with my opinion on it!


mindless, wow... you're incredible... I don't know if you've been gone a while or not, but I haven't read anything from you in some months now and this was just good. Again like I said to Silas, a played topic (even I've written similar things) but you definitely covered a lot of grounds on the topic that other people have not. the flow seemed flawless and the read was so smoothe man! keep dropping hott... you're doing good.




with that said... seems like my decisions kind of evident.



vote mindless... good job guys.

[Silas]

word, thanks for the votes. gotta shake some rust off its all good.

[Chris Black]

Mindless Wins, 2-0
Silas Loses, 0-1