Jena 6 - Extinction

[S!CK]

Jena 6 - Extinction

Why act against religion
god says we're all equal
why doesn't it make sense
to black and white people.

We're brothers and sisters
sinners and saints, faint
attempts at killing eachother
paints the lords pictures.

It's only common sense
to live with common sense
and when the day turns night
it's a promblemed reminisce.

So as the world wakes up
and people begin to listen
we king all of humanity
for Jena 6's Extinction.

[S!CK]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...as-349920.html

[S!CK]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...om-351440.html

[Spoken Deity]

this isnt bad... You structure messes up some of the flow and thought brake downs but it is still very good. Some of the word play is great... the poem actually has alot of intellience and wit. Just remember your capital letters, your sentence structure and thought brakes and you'll be golden....
hit my poem back will ya?

[Cody Nash]

you could've gone deeper... but for what the piece represents it's cool. a bit played on the racism thing because it's talked about so much but a decent take on it none the less.... you had a few grammatical errors that i pointed out to you, but that could just be typos so... no problem. just put your shit through a word processor or something before you post. it works wonders... anyways, decent drop. keep writing, stay active.



- nash

[P. Mortuus]

It's only common sense
to live with common sense
and when the day turns night
it's a promblemed reminisce.

So as the world wakes up
and people begin to listen
we king all of humanity
for Jena 6's Extinction.

^Your best lines..........

Not a bad read but also not great I feel it was to short for you to get deeper with emotion.......For the fact with this topic you could of did many things with you know, and the emotion could of been great, but it was just basic..Also everything was kind of simple in a sense no real complexity...Still a good read don't get me wrong, I see a lot of skill in you and you can go places on this site with the poetry.......Its just on here you have to come a little bit more creative and out think the thinkers you understand where I'm coming from but non of less nice read and Like I told you I always return the favor even if it takes me some time...........

[S!CK]

Thanks bro. And thanks to the rest as well.