Ace of Aces(2-0) vs Poeta(1-0)

[Chris Black]

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[Ace of Aces]

checking in, I'll finish as early as I can.

good luck my friend.

[Poeta Demonio]

Damn nice battle man, looking forward to this one. Oh and as a side note, welcome to WV dude.

Goodluck man.

[Poeta Demonio]

http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h1...in_Africa_.jpg
Cold eyes, filled to the brim with despise
For an enemy that resided in government
ties; children of the night that rise when they
Should have been asleep, smiling in their dreams…
But instead, we see them crying violent
Screams, dying on our TV screens, like it’s
A public show, you may see them as troubled,
But what the fuck does the public know?
Have you seen bullets tearing through chests?
Blood shot eyes way too scared to rest…
Yet you’re prepared to invest, in an inventory
of ignorance, and judge people that die out
of innocence, not knowing about peace
we HAVE a justice system, these kids ARE the police.

Fingers to triggers, yet you call them
“the poor little niggers” and suddenly figure
That you’re to good to lend a hand…
They need food, not your patronizing demands
That you land, on their heads, so don’t try
And talk about something you’ll never
Understand! It wasn’t planned, and definitely
Shouldn’t be accepted, weapons being
Strapped around the waists of kids
With a white politician acting like a racist pig
Slashing the faces of natures hatred

Homes in ruins, with fathers buried in ditches
For the sake of a higher account for ONE mans
Riches, with itches, from disease and water
Pollution, no effort involved, so they just
Abort the solution, according to the future…
There’s a place for everyone in time,
With a little love and care, these kids could
Be evidently fine, but it takes time, and
Every penny counts, not a great amount
But enough to save lives, as every useless
Product you buy? Another child dies.

[Ace of Aces]

-Finding Myself-

I awoke early this morning with hopes of a better season
Only to find the sun would melt those self-centered reasons
I’ve rendered this weathered treason, a point to quit work
And in attempt to find myself, I toss a coin to this search
With my head to a tail, I flip it again to my back as it falls down
Then I leave my house with a half empty glass and I walk out

It just so happens that at the last step I catch a married man
With his buried hand, take an extra glance at a “Mary-Ann”
He moves towards my step for a better of view I’m assumin’
Of this beautiful women, who I think knew he was lookin’
Though not in tune with his movement, she took the hint
And with one look at him, another key to a room to give

I just wish I had it like he did, even with a wife and 3 kids
Its more of a problem for women to find him to sleep with
He lives with secrets and does more than drift pavements
I’d do just about anything, to just get out and switch places
“Lifes a bitch ain’t it” says a homeless who was watchin’ me
Unimpressed by the irony, I smile back with a nod and leave

It just so happens that at the next block down I spot a crowd
Surrounding now, a single man who stood out and bowed
I couldn’t count the amount of people that shout or grabbed
At this model’s hands, as he took the time to sign autographs
Then on his last, he took off and ran at a full-throttle tilt
Leaving me in awe of the people that would follow still

Now I wish I had it like this guy, with unoriginal style
Just say fuck it to school, but then get rich with a smile
What a business to dial, lets get my nude body painted
Throw that into a magazine and then call me famous
Bet he gets a new chick by the day, his life is somethin’
I’m tired of mines being a mother fuckin’ dime a dozen

And then it just so happens that, before I go home again
I get stopped in my tracks, by the same old homeless man
And he says to me, “I know what you’re thinking kid,
You feel like a piece of shit, in a world so freaking big;
You’re lonely, not rich or famous, but so what if its true
Life’s a bitch son, but you’re just bein’ a bitch too”

[Chris Black]

Up over closed battles.

[Ntalek]

Poeta- Nice take on the pic..The imagery was great along with the flow..

Cold eyes, filled to the brim with despise
For an enemy that resided in government
ties; children of the night that rise when they
Should have been asleep, smiling in their dreams…
But instead, we see them crying violent
Screams, dying on our TV screens, like it’s
A public show, you may see them as troubled,
But what the fuck does the public know?
Have you seen bullets tarring through chests?
Blood shot eyes way too scared to rest…
Yet you’re prepared to invest, in an inventory
of ignorance, and judge people that die out
of innocence, not knowing about peace
we HAVE a justice system, these kids ARE the police.p

This entire stanza was worded to perfection...Nothing was forced and the vocab was great..the imagery was so well placed..it was like a few words..then visions..a few words..then visions..on a consitant level..good shit..and the last two lines had so much emotion..great delivery....
then.

Shouldn’t be accepted, weapons being
Strapped around the waists of kids
With a white politician acting like a racist pig
Slashing the faces of natures hatred

I loved the emotion in these lines..nice way to step it up...good shit.and the last stanza was brillant..a great ending to a great drop..the whole thing was quotable....and it basically portrayed how many people take advantage of their situation and alway be whining about life..when they actually got it better than they think they do...over all this was a solid drop man..Great read...

Aces-WOW!. this was a very hard decison and Im' bout' to explain why. This is like our world verse theirs..though it's all brutal reality...
It's truely hard to break down Aces drop because of the consistantcy of the storyline....the imagery was so strong and fluent. that it seemed to hold the emotion in sparatic spots nailing you at the end with the irony of the entire story...I mean the whole thing with the homeless man he just brushed off before puttN a lil somethin on his mind at the end..was dope...I now that I hit this in OM already..but it was even doper the second read..and I read Poeta's 3 times..it's taken me quite a while to come to my decison..and based on the reality of both situation and the Country I'm living in... I'm a have to go with....

V- Ace...by a hair..

This is what SS. needs...Pure Dopeness..from both parties...

[Engivale]

Poeta, it was pretty good, you went real straight-forward with the topic though, but it still came out pretty decent. I'm not really with Ntalek in that it was worded "perfectly", I think the rhymescheme was really bland... no multies or internal work most of the time, you'd use just one sound a few times in a row while getting on to your next point and just talk in between it. Just seemed too simple.

Have you seen bullets tarring through chests?
Blood shot eyes way too scared to rest…
Yet you’re prepared to invest, in an inventory
of ignorance, and judge people that die out
of innocence, not knowing about peace
we HAVE a justice system, these kids ARE the police.

first, "tarring" made me grimace... ouch... tearing i assume... at least you know the difference between 'to' and 'too'. But the whole chest/rest/invest scheme was thrown together with nothing between it to throw it into rhythm, you just came back to the sound. The last two lines I quoted there are the most meaningful of the piece... but it never really kept up any solid points like that, to me, and the scheme was bland the entire time, so it made for a rocky read.

Fingers to triggers, yet you call them
“the poor little niggers” and suddenly figure
That you’re to good to lend a hand…
They need food, not your patronizing demands
That you land, on their heads, so don’t try
And talk about something you’ll never
Understand! It wasn’t planned, and definitely
Shouldn’t be accepted, weapons being
Strapped around the waists of kids
With a white politician acting like a racist pig
Slashing the faces of natures hatred

Honestly I didn't like any of this part here, the rhyme scheme is really really simple, you make good points, but to me, at the complete expense of lyricical orginiality or rhythmic writing... so the power of your message gets somewhat convolluted to me.

AoA, another solid drop... lots of clever lines that I enjoyed... It was written pretty well, I'm beginning to see how you write and honestly I think I would like to see a more picked-up rhyme scheme from you, you're an ABAB cat and i've never seen different... I suppose it makes it a lot easier to structure your lines and set up punches, but... that's just the point. Too easy if you're as good a writer as you've shown. Feebs does it all the time too and it pisses me off, never changing his schemes. But that's a real elitist kinda nit-picking.

And in attempt to find myself, I toss a coin to this search
With my head to a tail, I flip it again to my back as it falls down
Then I leave my house with a half empty glass and I walk out

The head to a tail thing and leading into the half empty glass part was really nice, the scheme is pretty simple, but this was clever and enjoyable.

I just wish I had it like he did, even with a wife and 3 kids
Its more of a problem for women to find him to sleep with
He lives with secrets and does more than drift pavements
I’d do just about anything, to just get out and switch places
“Lifes a bitch ain’t it” says a homeless who was watchin’ me
Unimpressed by the irony, I smile back with a nod and leave

best stanza to me... it rhymed really well, none of it seemed forced at all, it was really fluid and well worded. props.

Bet he gets a new chick by the day, his life is somethin’
I’m tired of mines being a mother fuckin’ dime a dozen

^^^here you touch on the scorn of the simple life that many people have... using the homeless guy sort of as the opposite end of your spectrum here for individual success to set it up.

And he says to me, “I know what you’re thinking kid,
You feel like a piece of shit, in a world so freaking big;
You’re lonely, not rich or famous, but so what if its true
Life’s a bitch son, but you’re just bein’ a bitch too”

And a good way to end it, like, "Stop fucking complaining about it if you're so unsatisfied, go do something, or shut the fuck up and have a coke and a smile."

To me, not very close. AoA, well done, Poeta, put some more work in dawg, the writing just did not come to life except like one or two times, it really dragged on.

vote Ace of Aces

[Twixn...]

This was probably the best battle of the week imo...

haven't gotten around to reading em all yet.. but so far i like this one the best..

Poeta, you had a great verse,

Fingers to triggers, yet you call them
“the poor little niggers” and suddenly figure
That you’re to good to lend a hand…
They need food, not your patronizing demands

^ dope

i like the way you end a line then pick up the flow right away... and even sometimes it works so well when the end of the line dosen't rhyme but the pick up does... you have your own style of flow, that i would think you developed through poetry but it works so damn well man.

Ace of Aces...

like i said in Open Mic... this piece was prob the best ive read from you... just awesome... i thought you brought a great message... with just as awesome of a story.....

I just wish I had it like he did, even with a wife and 3 kids
Its more of a problem for women to find him to sleep with
He lives with secrets and does more than drift pavements
I’d do just about anything, to just get out and switch places
“Lifes a bitch ain’t it” says a homeless who was watchin’ me
Unimpressed by the irony, I smile back with a nod and leave

so easy to picture... just crystal clear.

I think Ace takes this.. he entertained me more and just came of frigging dope... thought they where both great... Ace just had that little extra touch that brought him out on top imo.

Vote - Ace

[Poeta Demonio]

Hate to freepost, but even i vote ace in this battle lol.

[Richard Parker]

^ I don't know man... that's what I was thinking too when I realized ace had the same piece here that he posted in OM. He has a sick piece with few mistakes, I believe I already left feed on it. But your piece didn't have any mistakes in my mind, it was a well choreographed story... you didn't have the rhyme scheme troubles that I so commonly associate with pieces where the writer continues onto the next line... it flowed very smoothly, and got the point across beautifully. One of the closest battles I've seen in a while. But I think Poeta took this. Could be because I read Ace's piece the other day & poetas is fresher... but I think Poeta just had an awesome read that was very well thought out, with appropriate, not overbearing emotion, a good rhyme scheme - and it did it's job as far as chiding those who pass judgement on these people both monetary and otherwise.

vote - Poeta

[Chris Black]

Close one here.

Poeta, your piece had nice emotion & tone. The flow was weird at points, it seemed, but nothing too bad. I think the most stick -out line was the one where you say you do have a justice system & it's the kids. Nice piece/

Ace, I think your piece had a more universal message. People envy everything and want everything. I liked that about your piece. I think everyone can relate to the character and wanting so many other people's lives, even though theirs isn't so bad. I almost decided to vote for Poeta after reading the last few lines. I didn't like how it ended at all, but you still get my vote because of flow and the relatable message.

Vote: Ace.

[Chris Black]

Ace wins.

Ace of Aces: 3-0
Poeta: 1-1