Tim (2-1) vs. Belligerant (1-0)

[Richard Parker]

same rules as last week.

[Soule]

yeah ..me and Tim round 2. Our FL Topical Title match was ill dude, let's make this one EVEN better.

[Tim]

word in

[Soule]

had to rush a verse Enjoy it still

[Soule]

Behind this deprived skin..

Is a confused child; cold yet loyal
alone, his blood boils and veins coil
thinking on the desperate side of survival
he's living miles from life, so he hides in denial
he eats molded bread and drinks gasoline
thinking he lives the worst life, but what he doesn’t see
it could be worse, he could be beaten every night
he could suffer of starvation and possibly die
but his family is as hard working as he claims to be
holding just enough pay checks to keep them off the street
he doesn’t give them the credit that is due
and he eats more food then they usually do.

Behind this deprived skin..

Are muscles and bones that wish to be fixed
for the likes of fists itch to be clinched
itch my skull as I wonder if life is so vicious
behind this deprived skin is a child that wishes
to be remembered in life as a child that wins
Because I lie here, behind this deprived skin.

[Tim]

So little, yet so much
The King Without His Crown

The stories of wars waged for glory lay with corps slain..
Forts stormed, decay.. Bodies left remain a scored display
While kings’ explored ways to slaughter men before today..
Ageless souls lost, now nameless.. Legends told held sacred
Phantom warriors forever dueling a wraith that’s faceless..
Complacent faith in places of sin chase names through ages
New life raised in praise is tortured by demons of war inside
Generations of families holding secrets.. Adored with pride..
More will die.. Closet skeletons stalk cursed kin through time
Seeking redemption for crimes of those now ghostly hauntings
Say the wrong thing and lies rewind back to cries undaunting..
Bodies strewn about a battlefield.. A gory mess of flesh n bones
Questions alone enough to break those who’ve blessed the throne
The lesser known now remembered as a family crest alone..
Knights marched into malice.. A sign of allegiance to the palace
Now mere specters in the wind as one another’s chalice..
Judgment day past.. Scenes of horror lost in a lingering wind
Empty corridors remain.. A testament to the soldier within..

[Ace of Aces]

wow, very short battle, not thats its a bad thing, its just Im shocked to see it. thought it does go to show that verses need not be as long as people think they do. anyway...

Ghost- I liked your topic choice very much. Reminds me of what I see so commonly in America. Very good job in choosing that. However, I didn't like the mechanics of your verse because it seemed like there weren't much to it. Idk if you were really trying all that much to be honest because of it. I also had a few problems with your word choice, especially that 'drinks gasoline' line, I think that was a bit over the top, even for this. overall though, nice approach but I know you could have done a better job.

Tim-not much bad to say about it really, very clean verse, great mechanics. I think that you definitely could have ben more in depth about it to be honest. though you were on point for most part. topic was bland but imagery was strong and you did have a bit more emotion in it than I would expect from a commonly chose topic.

v/ Tim...better verse basically. keep it up guys.

peACE

[P. Mortuus]

Okay

Ghost: Dissapointing to say the least. Very simple and nothing in it was impressive. I'm being harsh because there is no way writers such as your self can improve if your going to brush off verses even when your in a hurry you should write better man.

Tim: Seems obvious you just wrote enough to win. Clean and better than bells. The technicalities weren't top notch as i'd expect from you but were above average and easily beat the verse your opponent put through.

\/ Tim.

[Infinate Skillz.]

Wow,
Prety short battle here..

Bell-Well you didn't use your time limit like you should've..Well basically nothing impressive here at all from you..Just basic rhymescheme, a little bit of imagery, and i am kinda harsh, but kinda pissed that you didn't use your time limit, but hey, we all need more time sometimes, but oh well, at least you showed..

Tim-Nothing very unique, just enough to beat bell..Basically an over-average verse here, and it was an pretty good read, and basically all around better verse then Bells..Okay battle, keep it up.

V/Tim

[Jon]

Bellegerent - this wasn't bad actaully, considering you are a 'poet'. I kinda liked your rhyming, and stuff, yet it was basic. You still have a lot to work on topical wise, but you could be a lot better at topical then poetry, so you should try this... but anyhow, you're quitting so... yeah.

Tim - average verse from you, (as far as your skill level goes). Yet your average could beat 75% of the heads on this site, so its obvious you beat bell. you had a pretty good verse as usual, i liked just about everything about it more than I did bells... i don't feel like in-depth feed, i'm just leaving my 2 cents. anyways..

my vote goes to Tim.

better rounded verse.

[Ntalek]

Ghost- I liked your verse..it was just the simplicty of it that threw everything off...I mean it was kinda bland and blahish..after while it came sorta predictable..and that hurt's in SS...creativity is keen..but nice try..

Tim- Loved it...I mean you're one of the best when it comes to the techinal side of writing..you're wording and vocab control is outstanding and even with a short piece you're able to portray to the reader all the technicalities of writing...good piece here the emotion really carried it over...

v- Tim.

[Facts Machine]

Ghost - This wasn't bad, it just lacked an indepth meaning, or maybe it didn't, but all i know is that u didnt get too deep in the topic... it could have been way better... the rhymescheme was simple and u had a little less than decent imagery. overall, this was a blah piece, pretty decent, nothing special, but im not gonna lie, it did show potential and im sure u'll get a lot better if u keep this kinda shit elevating.

Tim - Your rhymescheme and wording/vocab was dope, but sometimes it felt hard to understand, it was short yet real complex and u put a lot into it. The imagery was cool, but could have been better with more detail. I think u took this by a bit tho, im guessing u just dropped good enough to win this.

v/Tim

[Richard Parker]

Vote - Tim

Belligerant did a decent job. Nothing really metaphorical in the piece, just straightforward. The writing was alright, it was brief and to the point. The piece kept my interest, so for what it was, it was nice. Tim's piece bothered me somewhat because I hate it when people write from that perspective... where nobody is doing the action, but he's talking about stuff that 'happened'. I guess it's the passive voice... either way, the narrator makes himself seemed detached from whatever's happening in the piece. With that said, as it was, Tim did a good job of writing it. It just wasn't all that engaging to me....

[Richard Parker]

up over closed

[_Lyrics]

Ghost- more could have been done with the topic, it seemed like it just lacked to me, the imagery was ok, but not a very felt emotional, and the flow held some multis in the beggining but then it seemed like you fell off into a basic scheme during it..

Tim- pretty nice drop, it had alot of multis, and the imagery was ill, and you kept on the topic the whole time, the flow was good and the emotional came across powerful. it was too short tho, i wouldve liked to have seen more going on. like said, just enough to win.

v/Tim