"'Til she's gone"

[Dat]

A path's been trampled through the streets
that line my fragile mind.
My search so far yields nothing much.
I don't know what to find.

I took my leave so suddenly,
with little more than words-
and regret my choice to let you walk,
there my soul began to churn.

Desert places wall my mind
with dark in every nook.
I wander through the emptyness
And yearn the place you took.

Suddenly a light shimmers faint;
a pain to me occurs:
my heart lies lifeless, cold in dust
of places we once were.

[Prince Escobar]

A love poem, or rather a love lost poem, or perhaps a lost love poem.

Umm, you know what i mean.

However you put it i liked this man, it wasn't intended to be a creatively astounding poem so i liked the simplicity of the approach. It's descriptive and yet reserved at the same time and the pace of the poem feels just right. Nice work, keep writing.

1luv.

[Dat]

Thanks man, greatly appreciated. Drop a link when you can.

[TProphet]

Not seen much from you in a while, man. Maybe ive missed some stuff from you.

Not anything that jumped off the page and announced ''dope'' but i still liked this. Kind of got that feeling that your kind of holding back on what you actually want to say though. Dont ask me why lol ive got no idea. Just like theres a whole lot more to come from you in writing if this is comming from a personal situation. Unless im just wrong.. then just keep writing =-]

[Dat]

And this one!

[Cody Nash]

hott! loved it. verrrryyyy deep and poetic. love loss poems always hit the spot for me. this one was actually nice. because it could be true for anyone rather than being so focused on one type of love loss. more people can relate to this and touch palms with it. the wording was perfect, the last part was nice. definitley one of the better attempts (well ..attempts succeeded) on a love poem. most are plain and too similar. this one lets your mind wander rather then be inflicted by boredom.

thanks for the read


- Nash


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ns-333247.html
Broken Patterns

[Dat]

Thanks man, will hit that link now!

Uppp!