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Thread: Seasons of Memories:Some wierd shit I had to do for School

  1. #1
    Spaghetti Quarter's Avatar
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    Seasons of Memories:Some wierd shit I had to do for School

    The thousands of memories surpass like a winter’s day
    A childhood of wonderful times, swept before my eyes
    Those days were so special, not a single word could say.
    The snow-glazed trees that will weep through time
    Tomorrow, as predictable as a formation of an icicle
    To ever forget those winter scenes would remain a crime,
    As the first snow lands, it leaves the world hidden,
    As every child rushes outdoors to search and play
    Till they find themselves nearing frost-bitten;
    Then return indoors, get warm, and let their clothes dry,
    Through the home’s frosty window
    Lifeless trees shiver, and wind whistles across the night’s sky,
    Towns made up of snow, spending the days with friends,
    Each year progresses as a timeless classic,
    That will forever continue till a different season ends,
    Throughout the winter, each season continues in lust
    As it lunges through its final days,
    The very last amounts of snow disappear to dust.
    Each winter leaves as quickly as it had came,
    As simple as a flurry of snowflakes,
    Those reminiscent winter days return the same


    Beware of messed up flow, cause the crazy bitch made me do it that way...

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  2. #2
    Spaghetti Quarter's Avatar
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    Re: Seasons of Memories:Some wierd shit I had to do for School

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...37#post5345237

    ill have my links in a lil bit..

    still writin another OM.
    Last edited by Quarter; December 7th, 2006 at 06:56 PM

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  3. #3
    Spaghetti Quarter's Avatar
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    Re: Seasons of Memories:Some wierd shit I had to do for School

    uppin.

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  4. #4
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    Re: Seasons of Memories:Some wierd shit I had to do for School

    this was decent man nice to see your back at it man this had some decent vocaba nd some nice wordings man but you lacked some what some invision and emotion man.. you were iffy here and there that took some of the creativeness away cus of the off lfow on and off ya know but this was a decet piece though man keep writing and you will get better man definatly.

    Pz.
    RTF on UNTITLED LINK IN THE SIG.
    ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE

  5. #5
    It's Willie Baby Willy B's Avatar
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    Re: Seasons of Memories:Some wierd shit I had to do for School

    hmmm nice you could tell it was sorted made funny....some lines were rhymed in a funny scheme kinda coo......good discriptions which led to nice imagery...nice vocab fit well with the piece..kinda short tho would have liked to have seen a couple extra lines....

    overall iight piece decent tho...stay up..pz

  6. #6
    Spaghetti Quarter's Avatar
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    Re: Seasons of Memories:Some wierd shit I had to do for School

    ight nice feed guys

    uppin.

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  7. #7
    Spaghetti Quarter's Avatar
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    Re: Seasons of Memories:Some wierd shit I had to do for School

    uppin.

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  8. #8
    Banned Penlord's Avatar
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    Re: Seasons of Memories:Some wierd shit I had to do for School

    Lol. Poem.

    That's really all I have to say about this piece. Describing winter and the seasons after it.. Winter mostly. Okay, yeah, but try to add some poetic views onto the imagery. All you did was throw images at us and describe the whole situation, no story line, no real amazing detailed thoughts on the subject itself. Though, you did have some okay imagery throughout the whole piece.

    This is definately school material, though.

    Peace duke. Keep hitting my writings and I'll keep hitting yours.

    I wish you luck on getting better.

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