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Thread: my $500 winnin poem this time it works!

  1. #1
    BabyGurl68
    Guest

    Talking my $500 winnin poem this time it works!

    allrite this poem is reallllllly long but i promise its worth the read and i won 500 for it .. so much aprreciation to those of you who take the time to read it and tell me what you think much luv


    -X-LIGHTNING PREVAILS-X-

    never thought you’d put me in this predicament
    but you don’t realize what your doing
    unknowingly pushing me away found a rejection that I thought impossible
    I lost details within this individual fight you only cover the surface data
    I’ve grown tired of trying to explain, im tired of forgiving
    I want you to forgive me for all the things I never did
    all the things I never did wrong, all the things I forgive you for
    I wish you would understand I need you to understand
    but you don’t, I cant get through to you, can’t force the impact
    I feel it so strong, gravity pushes me down, you don’t your heads up in the clouds
    so far away from reality although we’ve had our fights
    I remember the nights when we fought, and the clouds would release their tears
    on those nights sitting on the roof I felt protected from the storms drizzle
    I felt closer to you so far up in the clouds we were both half way
    those rainy days are so oblivious now I can only hear the thunder
    I shudder when I hear it rumbling so far but its force so near
    its foreshadowing the chaos that is yet to come
    now I crave the rain, it now seems so soothing
    It seems the rain is just foolish, foolish fights and all pride
    no content, no nothing, it’s clearly irrelevant
    frequently I am driven farther from you
    at this standpoint the thunder is near
    I know the lightning will strike soon
    when it comes I wonder if you will be surprised
    if you will feel the impact, or if you will even care at all
    I know that its coming, it’s been approaching for a while now
    It’s just a matter of time, time until I am no longer naive
    when I come off from the roof, and its protective covering
    when I stop dreaming of other things, such as dishonorable addictions
    and realize what I truly want is to be safe, safe from the harm
    that is yet to come, when I realize that independence is a stronger value
    when the thunder, roars and the winds desperate, so intentional yet subtle
    that is when the lightning will strike, and it will prevail with sorrow,
    sorrows of yesterdays to come, and forgiveness so broad
    then will u awaken from your sleep, and realize that maybe
    just maybe, you will remorse all the times u didn’t notice,
    Didn’t notice anything at all, through all the oppression,
    through all my oppression, and heartache, through all the times
    I had given up trying, and forgave trying at all with guilty circumstances
    I always thought you so innocent or maybe ignorant,
    I still do, maybe that judgement is harsh, or just what I want to believe
    but innocent is like that rain, ignorance is the fact you couldn’t hear the thunder
    it kept me up many nites, wondering why it won’t change,
    wondering why I can’t be more like you, so callow,
    it use to be that way for me, as it still is for you,
    Although the lightning is sure to strike at any given moment,
    I still have my regrets and my worries, maybe it will go back to the sunny days
    of lying upon the grass, with the hot sun upon our faces,
    I once heard someone say, if you love something set it free,
    if it is truly yours it will return, wish I could agree,
    because you so stubborn to beliefs, and I so naive,
    that even if I had let my love go, and it did return,
    nothing would change, or maybe I just tell myself that incase,
    incase you don’t return and I am left, here alone, in a great storm,
    wishing we were still halfway, with all regrets,
    however I know that this thunder is irritated and the lightning impatient
    so I know what chaos is yet to come,
    but at this point I wish I could settle with those rainy days,
    the ones I remember so cautiously,
    the ones then were so hurtful,
    and now are so phenomenal,
    I feel much regret, I know I will never forget,
    the rainy days and all their pride, and I will despise the clouds,
    for keeping you prisoner, keeping us worlds apart,
    but most of all, I will regret not being able to communicate,
    to communicate any thing at all

    thanks!
    -x-sendin luv-x-
    -0-babyG-0-

  2. #2
    -First Lady of RB- DaGyrlRemarqabL's Avatar
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    Feb 2002
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    3-0
    Im really tired and in the mood to just read the poems and not respond to them...But damn gyrl, I had to just comment on the amazingness of this piece. Really..Really incredibly written. The deepness of it, the symbolism...The end was really powerful..just damn moving. I can see why it got you the cash.

    Stay up and keep writin!
    Peace.
    P U R E


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    RemarqabL

  3. #3
    BabyGurl68
    Guest
    thanks baby gurl! u r always responding to my shit n i have much respect for you! THANKS .. Uppin i promise ists worth the read

  4. #4
    ButteredKnives Dirty Shanks's Avatar
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    Very nice....I don't do poetry but I really got it to this. This is my first time in here and I read yours first, and thought I needed to reply. You deserve some credit for-sure. This peice really makes me think about some shit, and I would like to read more from you again. keep doin' what you do BabyGurl.....

    peace

    I'm OuTtIe
    Masked & Murderous

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  5. #5
    Certified Like A COW Varentao's Avatar
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    I'm sure i read this before, but not so sure i replied to it (i.e. it was on here before..)..

    Well congratulations for winning $500 (which is like 314 pounds...still a lot though..)...

    ...i liked how it went 'in and out' of levels...almost effortlessly...with many levels of of depth to it...while concentrating on mainly one matter...it's kind of exploring it to its fullest...or something like that...

    ...so i think that's enough said...you must have got enough 'praise' already...but can i just ask, did you read it (open mic), or was it just written?...

    respect...
    I'm too secure to have a signature.

    Oh.

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