Falling Down..Fell right Down

[P. Mortuus]

Falling Down...Fell Right Down


The building is falling down…falling down,
…Falling down!

Pitchforks construct an abstract piece
Pretentiously swaying their steel balls
They beat on bent over buildings
Exhibiting explicit gestures with delight
Mobile instructors master the musical
Sounds obscene; small males in glee
Haphazard hops on for a piggyback
A man camps under buildings crumbled


The man he fell right down…fell right down,
…He fell right down!

Trip down so I can kiss your cheek
Which wets the lapels you lean on
Let the hands drum a repetitive tune
To calm the quakes your experiencing
Sound waves knock on your lobes
Minor to the drums the brain’s playing
Deep cover under my arms enclosed
Posed as marble statues with beads
Praying for the deceased with odes

[P. Mortuus]

Simon says...UP^.

[.......*]

This was an abstract piece. Your wording brought it to life meaning the imagery was krazy. AsI read through it I began to visualize the construction site in the first part and a man trapped in the second visioning his pain which you seemed to translate as something good if I was interpreting it right. Your vocab is nice as always. This was just another good piece from you pak. I don't really leave feed on Poetic pieces but this is how I felt.

[P. Mortuus]

Yup thanks...though the 2nd part is talking about the victims family not him.

[Spoken]

well this was DOPE!...
^^
yea the best feed son!...lmfao.

just messing this was a dop epiece right here son...nice multie flips yea feel...like you had some nice metaphors also that described nice images and portraiyed definite emotion.....i liked how you twisted the DAMN sotry aswell..the stroyline is good asqwell...the concept you grasped it nicely...the topic played but the way ou approached like forum said you went abstract man..which was really how you really go anyway's...nice shit though FAM...also your vocab was pretty tight...no MAJOR FLAWS...all assorted nicely aswell man...not cramped at all and nothing seemed force but it was koo!.

[Lil J.C.]

nice nice......clisk put it we man this was dope nice pictures painted in ya head from the verse but i really liked how u twisted the story lol and i was like what?!?!? lmao but good read nice story line good vocab and thanx for the feed on my peice lol pz

[P. Mortuus]

No problem, thanks