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Thread: History Lesson.

  1. #1
    The Notorious E.N.G. Engivale's Avatar
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    History Lesson.

    Aristotle taught Plato, but Socrates said it best
    "People, let your hate go; Give these philosophies a rest."
    But we couldn't, our minds just keep trying to prod
    To the point that it's a man we annoint our aligning God...
    Constantinople said Jesus was The Son-
    "Pagans" remain hopeful their beliefs won't be expunged...

    Da Vinci made Mona Lisa smile at Rome-
    Dial it home- it was made to mock and defile the throne
    Of a Papalcy insulted, he'd rather be considered a culprit
    Then kneel before some racist robed atheist at his pulpit
    He doesn't worship God, he worships man's invention
    He heads it with foolish eccentric tension...
    Holy wars for sole rewards...
    Massacre Ottoman hordes;
    And then back to the slaughter of Moors...

    The first civilization was actually Egypt-
    Isis was King, Ram and Rah keeping peace up...
    In a jar is the Feast of- Organs to preserve...
    At least shove an orderve into accordance with your verve...
    Tour curve, pyramid crumbles...
    No more pictures and hyeroglyphic scriptures, it's rumbles...
    Ruin - Like a Tzar by Razputin...
    This world was bizarre before we started shootin'...

    And meanwhile in the Far East-
    A man sat thinking of suffering...
    Under trees, the true Gallilee...
    The Loving King...
    Why does the mind chatter? What's at the core?
    Is it pure matter? A true light that's always obscured?
    Can I touch God? Or is it just Reality?
    Meditation for answers to this lust for Fallicy...
    And suddenly, at once, He Breathes-
    Excitement-
    This must be, at once He Sees-
    Enlightenment.
    Siddhartha, the Buddha, Needed no conflict...
    He was past this world-practiced clawin' shit...
    He had no need; there's no man he would shun
    He'd lost his self, with all of us he is one...



    "God Cannot Create a Rock Too Heavy for God to Lift."




    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=309314
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=310173

    A.I.

    "She managed to extract from the restriction itself a further delicate thought, like good poets whom the tyranny of rhyme forces into the discovery of their finest lines."


  2. #2
    The Notorious E.N.G. Engivale's Avatar
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    ^uppin'

    A.I.

    "She managed to extract from the restriction itself a further delicate thought, like good poets whom the tyranny of rhyme forces into the discovery of their finest lines."


  3. #3
    You are the selfish one! CrosT Over's Avatar
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    I enjoyed this piece as it seemed to have vast amounts of credible resources in it, i think at time the flow might have faultered a bit, but overall you kept a good tempo. Vokab was on point throughout this piece, i think the one thing you could have worked on a little more would be the construction of the piece, it was very simple and took no risks, i think you could have adapted a different style and still got the point across with a little more creativity, but overall i must say i enjoyed this as i like to see pieces with meanings.

    props
    I EMBRACED THE DARK SIDE WHEN YOU STOLE MY SON

  4. #4
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    yehhh blaaaad likin this shit bro. lots of mythical shit in der makin it sound intelectual n shit. erm not much wrong wit it but just make it a bit simpler ennit

    iyt keep it goin bizzle

  5. #5
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lil' Diz
    yehhh blaaaad likin this shit bro. lots of mythical shit in der makin it sound intelectual n shit. erm not much wrong wit it but just make it a bit simpler ennit

    iyt keep it goin bizzle
    Disregard that...this piece should make you research the refrences if you have to but telling him to make it simpler is stupidity....my opinion anyway.

    Now to the piece i thought it started of a lil patchy like hesitant but then the flow picked up as if the writer was now more comfident that he had got the topic in grasp. Many, many refrences were used in here and i won't say i knew/remember them all which shows i need to brush up on my ancient history lol...but yeah i found the way you interlocked and meshed each era and it's myths/kings and battles or Gods in was very very clever and managing to still keep the flow gave it an intellectual rap vibe na mean. Overall, i reckon this was a fresh topic it may have been dealt with before i don't know...but i can say that i really liked this as a great reference piece...Stay up^.

  6. #6
    The Notorious E.N.G. Engivale's Avatar
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    thx 4 the feedback... hoping for some more varied feedback from ppl on this I was a little out there when I wrote it...

    A.I.

    "She managed to extract from the restriction itself a further delicate thought, like good poets whom the tyranny of rhyme forces into the discovery of their finest lines."


  7. #7
    The Notorious E.N.G. Engivale's Avatar
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    ^uppin

    A.I.

    "She managed to extract from the restriction itself a further delicate thought, like good poets whom the tyranny of rhyme forces into the discovery of their finest lines."


  8. #8
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    rambled too much, didn't seem to have too much direction to the piece. .
    still, a nice read. change the title in the future, it will get you more reads if your title isn't something so boring.

  9. #9
    Cause A Fuss Truth Iscariot's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Engivale
    Aristotle taught Plato, but Socrates said it best
    "People, let your hate go; Give these philosophies a rest."
    But we couldn't, our minds just keep trying to prod
    To the point that it's a man we annoint our aligning God...
    Constantinople said Jesus was The Son-
    "Pagans" remain hopeful their beliefs won't be expunged...

    Da Vinci made Mona Lisa smile at Rome-
    Dial it home- it was made to mock and defile the throne
    Of a Papalcy insulted, he'd rather be considered a culprit
    Then kneel before some racist robed atheist at his pulpit
    He doesn't worship God, he worships man's invention
    He heads it with foolish eccentric tension...
    Holy wars for sole rewards...
    Massacre Ottoman hordes;
    And then back to the slaughter of Moors...

    The first civilization was actually Egypt-
    Isis was King, Ram and Rah keeping peace up...
    In a jar is the Feast of- Organs to preserve...
    At least shove an orderve into accordance with your verve...
    Tour curve, pyramid crumbles...
    No more pictures and hyeroglyphic scriptures, it's rumbles...
    Ruin - Like a Tzar by Razputin...
    This world was bizarre before we started shootin'...

    And meanwhile in the Far East-
    A man sat thinking of suffering...
    Under trees, the true Gallilee...
    The Loving King...
    Why does the mind chatter? What's at the core?
    Is it pure matter? A true light that's always obscured?
    Can I touch God? Or is it just Reality?
    Meditation for answers to this lust for Fallicy...
    And suddenly, at once, He Breathes-
    Excitement-
    This must be, at once He Sees-
    Enlightenment.
    Siddhartha, the Buddha, Needed no conflict...
    He was past this world-practiced clawin' shit...
    He had no need; there's no man he would shun
    He'd lost his self, with all of us he is one...



    "God Cannot Create a Rock Too Heavy for God to Lift."




    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=309314
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=310173

    unique ass topic if was life social studies outside that class room in one phrase i liked it beacuse i like shit like that but next time try to connect a bit wider i liked the vocab but the structure was ass water but better on that next time and i like the qoute at the very end so keep shit like this coming but improve you mistakes nice piece

    AI

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  10. #10
    The Notorious E.N.G. Engivale's Avatar
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    I always write my structure so that you can know when to pause either short, long, extended or not at all after certain words and lines... it's to help you read the flow rather than follow grammatical laws.

    And the title is exactly what it is, and this does not ramble at all. You simply have no idea what I'm talking about. This was extremely thought out and put together carefully, anyone that's on this site with a fucking education will get it but maybe I'm preaching to the wrong audience here.

    SIMPLE: I START WITH ANCIENT GREECE'S PHILOSOPHERS, AND THEN USE SOCRATES TO SAY THAT PHILOSOPHY AT ALL IS KIND OF USELESS. I PROCEED TO SAY HOW HUMANITY DECIDED JESUS IS THE SON OF GOD. CONSTANTINOPLE, THE EMPEROR OF ROME, MADE IT THE STATE'S RELIGION IN ONE DAY. LEONARDI DA' VINCI HATED ROME AND THE CATHOLIC CHURCH. OFTEN HIS WORK WAS MADE TO EXPRESS HIS FEELINGS WITHOUT STATING IT BLATANTLY, THE MOST FAMOUS OF WHICH IS MONA LISA REPRESENTING THE DIVINE FEMININE AND THUS REFUTING THE CLAIM THAT JESUS IS THE SON OF GOD. I NOTE THAT THE POPE AT THIS TIME HEADS A CHURCH, WHICH IS MAN-MADE AND MAN-CORRUPTED, TO SLAUGHTER THE OTTOMAN EMPIRE IN EASTERN EUROPE IN THE HOLY WARS. I THEN PROCEED TO NOTE THAT EGYPT WAS ACTUALLY EARTH'S FIRST HUMAN CIVILIZATION, NOT ROME OR GREECE, AND THEY HAD DIFFERENT GODS. BUT NOW, THE PYRAMIDS AND ARTIFACTS OF EGYPT ARE LARGELY LOST AND MISUNDERSTOOD. I THEN SAY THE WORLD HAS NOT CHANGED MUCH DESPITE OUR TECHNOLOGICAL ADVANCES, AT LEAST SO FAR AS HUMAN NATURE GOES. I END BY DESCRIBING A COUNTERPOINT, BUDDHA, DURING THE SAME TIME PERIOD IN THE FAR EAST OF THE WORLD. HE PREACHED A DIFFERENT "RELIGION", AND I USE QUOTATIONS BECAUSE IT IS NOT A RELIGION THAT WORSHIPS A GOD OR PERSECUTES A PEOPLE, IT IS A SCHOOL OF THOUGHT. HE BECAME ENLIGHTENED THROUGH MEDITATION, AND LOST HIS SELF-HOOD, THE ALL-ENCOMPASSING ARROGANCE AND SELF-IMPORTANCE ALL PEOPLE HAVE. HE TRIES TO SHARE HOW TO ELIMINATE THIS "SELF". THROUGH THIS, HE IS ONE WITH EVERYTHING, WHICH HE SEES AS HIS AND ALL PEOPLE'S COMMON GOAL. THE TRUE REALITY IS EVERYTHING IS ONE - ALL CONNECTED.

    That is what this piece says. Just to defend against you Feeble Minded, I know you're well versed on this site, but you are absolutely wrong about that I'm rambling.. I've read ramblings before and this is as meaningful a verse as I've read on here and I'm just getting goose egged by idiots that don't even get it. So, let me remove the internal rhyme scheme, metaphorical language and flow, as is above, because THE CAPS was my point. Go read some damned books, if you don't know about this stuff, you don't know anything and you'll never make a single advance with your entire human lifetime....
    Last edited by Engivale; September 23rd, 2006 at 02:47 AM

    A.I.

    "She managed to extract from the restriction itself a further delicate thought, like good poets whom the tyranny of rhyme forces into the discovery of their finest lines."


  11. #11
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    I could just sit here for a couple minutes and clown you, but this is worth explaining(Since I think you can be a great writer if you keep a few things in mind).

    A puzzle, when not properly linked, does not form a picture. All the pieces may be there - they may have significance once linked together - but if they are not linked together, they are random pieces, not a puzzle. All I'm saying is that no matter what significance your piece has to you... without proper transitions, the piece will seem like rambling to someone else. What I'm saying is that you threw some good pieces out there.. but had some faulty connections. Btw, the only thing in your entire paragraph you wrote in the post above this that I didn't know was the part about the Mona Lisa representing the "devine feminine". Which, by the way, is not provable; Da Vinci never actually claimed anything of the sort about the painting. I can speculate that Robert Frost's poem "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening" has themes of death in it (which some literary analysts did), but Robert Frost actually made a public statement that it wasn't an intended theme of the poem. See what I'm getting at? Art is largely due to personal interpretation. That is what makes it so amazing.

    oh, and drop the elitist attitude. There are a billion unfortunate people on this Earth, who, given the same opportunities that you & I have had, would do better than both of us.
    Last edited by Richard Parker; September 26th, 2006 at 02:46 AM

  12. #12
    this was quite nice.. you know your history i must say.
    It's a new and exciting topic, in the likes of Jin's "Top 5"..
    Where he gives a history lesson in the rap game..
    Nice flow, nice topic, nice piece.. 8/10 because it was kinda short..

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