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Thread: Another Lonely Doll (Duel Poem)

  1. #1
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    Another Lonely Doll (Duel Poem)

    Lonely Doll

    She sits.
    Alone on the floor.
    Alone in her mind.
    They walk By.
    Pierced by their stares.
    She cries.
    Her tears wet the carpet.
    Her torment dampens her existence.
    She claws.
    At the stitching that holds her.
    She tears.
    'Till her stuffing gushes out.
    She stands.
    Takes a line of her stitching.
    Wraps it round her frail neck.
    Bleeding.
    She jumps.
    And Hangs.
    Doll Suicide.
    Dolls have feelings too you know.

    Another

    Another life wasted
    Another death failed
    Another life ruined
    Another day to run and bail
    Another attempt excluded
    Another plan reacted
    Another mistaken feeling
    Another thing happens
    Another failure to society
    Anthoer thing to buy for me
    Another wish forgotten
    Another apple rotten
    Another death ends
    Another nightmare
    Another scare
    Another kiss
    Another feeling of bare and bliss
    Another song saddens
    Another day happens


    please try to understand.

    -Onus

  2. #2
    The Best
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    up.

  3. #3
    The Best
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    wow. up again.

  4. #4
    The Best
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    uppity up.

  5. #5
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    Lonely Doll

    She sits.
    Alone on the floor.
    Alone in her mind.
    They walk By.
    Pierced by their stares.
    She cries.
    Her tears wet the carpet.
    Her torment dampens her existence.
    She claws.
    At the stitching that holds her.
    She tears.
    'Till her stuffing gushes out.
    She stands.
    Takes a line of her stitching.
    Wraps it round her frail neck.
    Bleeding.
    She jumps.
    And Hangs.
    Doll Suicide.
    Dolls have feelings too you know.
    I thought that this was a very good poem.. The description was good and the imagery was decent.. & some lines that you put in the threw off the mood..

    Another

    Another life wasted
    Another death failed
    Another life ruined
    Another day to run and bail
    Another attempt excluded
    Another plan reacted
    Another mistaken feeling
    Another thing happens
    Another failure to society
    Anthoer thing to buy for me
    Another wish forgotten
    Another apple rotten
    Another death ends
    Another nightmare
    Another scare
    Another kiss
    Another feeling of bare and bliss
    Another song saddens
    Another day happens
    Simple truth.. liked it..

  6. #6
    The Best
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    word.

  7. #7
    The Best
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    could you close this poeta, i'll be posting a new poem soon.

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