Cry (7-5) Vs. Tae Profit (7-5)

[Mystery~Murdera]

regular rules
check in by Thursday
Verses Due Friday. 12 EST
Voting Ends Monday.

[.:Y.Not:.]

check.

[Cody Nash]

nevermind, lets just do 20 ..busy week.

[Cody Nash]

dick, this is over.

dude's a little fuckin' cunt, face it. your own sig thinks your gay now
s'good that you know you suck......keep tellin yourself to lay down
i'll kick it off. your head that is, it'll be funny as fuck
& ya success is so controversal.. we had to go to court to try your luck
you suck ..you aren't reliable, its undeniable to ya family i'm favoured
your kids mine, & i left ya wife so loose..it's like she rebelled on hard labor
wtf @ you even coming near my skills, but your scars'll tell us
your lines are such a Phlip from perfect ..that they make Marv. jealous
Y.Not own this fuck ..being in your presence just couldn't feel gayer
you'll never get big ..the comps the only place you'll ever get real, player
listen ..the reason your family returned you, is a purpose i defeat
kid, you're so busted up, that your foster home didn't need a receipt
i got em` beat. with no clue where i'm gettin' these ..here's his new slogan
when it comes to an ass whoopin, people be rippin' T's more than Hulk Hogan
kid, don't get mad ..nash's mustered the courage to finally try!
my strokes of greatness been sleepin` ....yours are just helping you die
if you think you measure to cry, you best start thinkin` twice ..
& we don't gott`a be mean before christmas to know its naughty whos nice
your on thin ice, but just think ..your holidays stopped looking grimmer
i can just dump your body in the alley by september ..
.. and you'll make it home for the winter

20. match it hoe cake ..

[.:Y.Not:.]

my fault, need til tomorrow...may wanna edit cuz imma come my best. (havent written it yet) and im high now soo..

EDIT: My fault i wont be able to get to a computer tomorrow and i dont wanna have niggaz waitin so i rushed this to get it done and im high so here it is...


So u thought u had an easy win but u were sorely mistaken
Didnt think u had half a mind to drop with all the hits u been taken
Same nigga, same rec, same crew, same body we rockin
but i guess the cock forgot...whose top and whose bottom
i dont wanna strangle u n b the one who showed whas happenin
cuz with ya verbal gone,
ya click will be forced to show the whole site what uve been lackin
I just cant go easy on you, please forgive me, but u need to slumber
cuz if i took ya kindness for weak ^^^^^?, shit, ud b doing Jesus numbers
Now stop talkin out ya wig, when u know imma bury ya kid
tellin crew how to be more like LLL...with 5 links in a sig
id help u threw the badtimes but i dont wanna drop u, locin
cuz last time ya nigga broke u out ya slump...
...u was ass naked on ya stomach....with ya legs wide open
THEIF!!!
i wanted to be the main scytso textcee but ull take the vets attention
cuz ull definitely be taking the cake, without givin M~M his percentage
I feel forced to read ya wackness o nah im just blunted
cuz i know u runnung shit...forcefully down my stomach
You aint done it, i did it, now i gotta trash black's life
im sorry, i made a mistake...
...but ya moms was lookin far to phat that night
Cry takes Fridays off but its cool who doesnt like it that way
but now we cant go blow for blow...
...cuz i know ur like everyone...hate to go to work when ya off that day

i think thas 20. good luck.

[Cody Nash]

cool. feed ..

[Philly®]

wtf @ you even coming near my skills, but your scars'll tell us
your lines are such a Phlip from perfect ..that they make Marv. jealous

vs.

nothing... sorry




rofl the marv line killed his whole verse..


rest was coo but that shit was funnniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii


V/cry

leave feed on my shit

[Mr W.Rite]

check it out
here's how i am voting from now on
i have copied and pasted both verses without reading them
i will give a short response to each punch after i have read it the first time
i may read the line a couple of times to get a better understanding of the punch...after a i have read both verses thoroughly, from MY judgement i will vote on a winner
when i vote, i am not interested in who won and who lost
its about finding flaws in the verses so they can be corrected


lets get started..








dude's a little fuckin' cunt, face it. your own sig thinks your gay now
s'good that you know you suck......keep tellin yourself to lay down
ok, honestly i didnt really get this punch, so i wasnt too thrilled with the concept, wording was nice,the punch itself suffered

i'll kick it off. your head that is, it'll be funny as fuck
& ya success is so controversal.. we had to go to court to try your luck
concept was decent, wording hurt you, i see where u were going
but to pull a concept like this off and make it 'wow' the reader, the wording has to be perfect


you suck ..you aren't reliable, its undeniable to ya family i'm favoured
your kids mine, & i left ya wife so loose..it's like she rebelled on hard labor
concept was meh, didnt grab me..the potential was there you just couldnt pull it off


wtf @ you even coming near my skills, but your scars'll tell us
your lines are such a Phlip from perfect ..that they make Marv. jealous
the wording hurt you again..the part that says "phlip from perfect" was kinda like huh? and the punch itself wasnt that great

Y.Not own this fuck ..being in your presence just couldn't feel gayer
you'll never get big ..the comps the only place you'll ever get real, player
cant be mad at you here, i see where u were going, but once again wording was crucial to pull this off, keep working on it though

listen ..the reason your family returned you, is a purpose i defeat
kid, you're so busted up, that your foster home didn't need a receipt
the concept wasnt that great and again the punch wasnt enough to grab my attention


i got em` beat. with no clue where i'm gettin' these ..here's his new slogan
when it comes to an ass whoopin, people be rippin' T's more than Hulk Hogan
this was by far your best punch, i sure the concept has been used before, but i havnt seen it before, your wording was better and the punch itself just flowed alot better than your other lines

kid, don't get mad ..nash's mustered the courage to finally try!
my strokes of greatness been sleepin` ....yours are just helping you die
dam man, this had so much potential, after readin it a couple of time i see where the punch was going, but it didnt hit..this would have been nice


if you think you measure to cry, you best start thinkin` twice ..
& we don't gott`a be mean before christmas to know its naughty whos nice
i see the wordplay in this punch, not bad..could have been better, but this was decent imo..

your on thin ice, but just think ..your holidays stopped looking grimmer
i can just dump your body in the alley by september ..
.. and you'll make it home for the winter
the three line scheme didnt help you here, the punch was too long
it took too long to get to the punchline itself and the violent concepts arent for everybody,i personally stay away from them.. there are only like one or too guys in the league like (ex.Spitacular) who can pull them off with wit and finese..they are hard because the arent very witty, they can be entertaining but the diss is what makes a punch a punch
sayin what you are going to do to somebody isnt really a diss


wording, wording, wording...u want your lines to flow as much as possible
read your lines like ten or fifteen time before you post it to make sure that
that is what you want to post, some lines were decent but didnt flow as well because of poor wording which will always kill execution of the punch
i see potential, but u have to stick with it and put more time into your punches




So u thought u had an easy win but u were sorely mistaken
Didnt think u had half a mind to drop with all the hits u been taken
decent punch, opener are the most important lines in a battle
this could have been better, but not a bad start

Same nigga, same rec, same crew, same body we rockin
but i guess the cock forgot...whose top and whose bottom
kinda lost me here, sorry just wasnt really feelin this one
the setup was blah, but it seems as though a personal was coming
and if it was i missed it


i dont wanna strangle u n b the one who showed whas happenin
cuz with ya verbal gone,
ya click will be forced to show the whole site what uve been lackin
didnt like this too much either.. i see a personal in there somewhere and personals are always good, but this one didnt do it for me

I just cant go easy on you, please forgive me, but u need to slumber
cuz if i took ya kindness for weak ^^^^^?, shit, ud b doing Jesus numbers
i dont know about this one either, didnt grab me as a reader lookin for that knockout punch, it was real meh to me, the concept just was enough

Now stop talkin out ya wig, when u know imma bury ya kid
tellin crew how to be more like LLL...with 5 links in a sig
another personal attempt, but the diss wasnt that great, i see where u were goin, but the diss just wasnt interesting

id help u threw the badtimes but i dont wanna drop u, locin
cuz last time ya nigga broke u out ya slump...
...u was ass naked on ya stomach....with ya legs wide open
wording hurt you, the lines were too long and the flow was too choppy
u have to maintain your flow throughout ya entire verse half way through reading the punch your bored and have loss interest


THEIF!!!
i wanted to be the main scytso textcee but ull take the vets attention
cuz ull definitely be taking the cake, without givin M~M his percentage
now first of all i dont have a problem cliche punches, they can be flipped so many ways and still be dope, so the 'take the cake' reference wasnt a bad idea to me, but it has to be flipped flawlessly to get some attention, this one was decent at best, wasnt executed to its full potential but it was decent
your choice of words and rhyme scheme was a lot better so that really helped you

I feel forced to read ya wackness o nah im just blunted
cuz i know u runnung shit...forcefully down my stomach
ok this didnt come out right at all, if you read it a couple of times
you'll see the wtf factor im talkin about, it was kinda disgusting
im thinkin a word taken here and there may have seved this
but as it stands it just didnt come off right to me

You aint done it, i did it, now i gotta trash black's life
im sorry, i made a mistake...
...but ya moms was lookin far to phat that night
ah the good ol' ya moma punches, now just like the cliche punches i personally dont have a problem with them if they are worded and executed perfectly, just for the simple fact they have been done too death
but if they seem even the slightest bit played, its better off not using them at all and this was one of them.. i have seen this before so theres not much creativity here to go on

Cry takes Fridays off but its cool who doesnt like it that way
but now we cant go blow for blow...
...cuz i know ur like everyone...hate to go to work when ya off that day
nope, wording was off, flow was off, and the punch wasnt that good
not a good closer


v/ Cry

he had the best line of the battle
and his verse had the most potential...better wording would have helped a pretty bland verse become atleast decent, some of his concepts were just meh, but better than Y.Not
so theres my breakdown, dont take my comments personal they are there to help you get better

good luck to both

[Cody Nash]

^thank you VERY much. 3-0

[I Got Pwnd]

dude's a little fuckin' cunt, face it. your own sig thinks your gay now
s'good that you know you suck......keep tellin yourself to lay down
^Not really witty,pretty basic..well IMO.but decent.
i'll kick it off. your head that is, it'll be funny as fuck
& ya success is so controversal.. we had to go to court to try your luck
^pretty good.but sorta forced a lil...contro verse all<--if thats what you mean..its sorta forced.or I guess its they way you talk or w/e.But pretty good.
you suck ..you aren't reliable, its undeniable to ya family i'm favoured
your kids mine, & i left ya wife so loose..it's like she rebelled on hard labor
^Ummm seen the hard labor concept,a was a lil better when I saw it.but aiight flip.
wtf @ you even coming near my skills, but your scars'll tell us
your lines are such a Phlip from perfect ..that they make Marv. jealous
^hah.Ive seen many flip lines using marv's(Resident Philapeno.) name but the was the best.IMO<--again.
Y.Not own this fuck ..being in your presence just couldn't feel gayer
you'll never get big ..the comps the only place you'll ever get real, player
^naw.wasnt feeling this.
listen ..the reason your family returned you, is a purpose i defeat
kid, you're so busted up, that your foster home didn't need a receipt
^lol.funny but not really connecting with me well.but i like it.w/e..pretty good.
i got em` beat. with no clue where i'm gettin' these ..here's his new slogan
when it comes to an ass whoopin, people be rippin' T's more than Hulk Hogan
^Good.
kid, don't get mad ..nash's mustered the courage to finally try!
my strokes of greatness been sleepin` ....yours are just helping you die
^i had a punch like this,well sorta...this was better.wording wise.
if you think you measure to cry, you best start thinkin` twice ..
& we don't gott`a be mean before christmas to know its naughty whos nice
^forced a bit but,good..naughty=not t.but its pronounced weird tho..but i caught it..
your on thin ice, but just think ..your holidays stopped looking grimmer
i can just dump your body in the alley by september ..
.. and you'll make it home for the winter
^not feeling the closer.

vs.

So u thought u had an easy win but u were sorely mistaken
Didnt think u had half a mind to drop with all the hits u been taken
^couldve been so much more better if you worded it better,I feel the ending was just plain jane.
Same nigga, same rec, same crew, same body we rockin
but i guess the cock forgot...whose top and whose bottom
^Naw,just EWWww..on cock jokes an gay concepts..unless they are really witty.naw.
i dont wanna strangle u n b the one who showed whas happenin
cuz with ya verbal gone,
ya click will be forced to show the whole site what uve been lackin
^???.just really what do u mean,Cry is text..he's not audio,If so...I havent heard him..so his verbal gone?doesnt make sense in a text battle.
I just cant go easy on you, please forgive me, but u need to slumber
cuz if i took ya kindness for weak ^^^^^?, shit, ud b doing Jesus numbers
^WTF?Jesus numbers?Jesus aint no ballplayer,or sportsman..doesnt make sense..couldve worded it soo much better for more impact.But otherwise this was awfull..not meaning it sucked or w/e..just you couldve been more creative.
Now stop talkin out ya wig, when u know imma bury ya kid
tellin crew how to be more like LLL...with 5 links in a sig
^aiight,but 5 links in the sig...of what?
id help u threw the badtimes but i dont wanna drop u, locin
cuz last time ya nigga broke u out ya slump...
...u was ass naked on ya stomach....with ya legs wide open
^lol.but the structure threw it off.but it was aiight.
THEIF!!!
i wanted to be the main scytso textcee but ull take the vets attention
cuz ull definitely be taking the cake, without givin M~M his percentage
^naw.
I feel forced to read ya wackness o nah im just blunted
cuz i know u runnung shit...forcefully down my stomach
^Ewww.Just gross..you a fecal freak?You shouldve worded it more..eww.
You aint done it, i did it, now i gotta trash black's life
im sorry, i made a mistake...
...but ya moms was lookin far to phat that night
^Hell Naw!!!You didnt use a Im ur daddy line...come on tae.U mustve been high.
Cry takes Fridays off but its cool who doesnt like it that way
but now we cant go blow for blow...
...cuz i know ur like everyone...hate to go to work when ya off that day
^What?U saying blow as in Blow job or what?didnt catch this...explain.but really doesnt make any differ.

overall/-Cry had sum consistant punches...seen better from him,but still had its moments.just they were forced a bit moments..but still.Tae..u mustve been high.Thats it.

V/-cry

[Tae]

^lol, i dont even get half my lines, good win Nash cuz u kno we'll never get enuff votes for me to come back. and Vlad the whose top and whose bottom was talkin bout LLL played off the "same body"/same crew concept i put in the setup, besides that...i dont know.

But thanks a for the breakdown from Write and Vlad im bout to go return the favor now.

[Cody Nash]

^word, good battle. lmao @ vlad. dude court "TRY" your luck. as in a trial in court. contro verse all? < wtf no wordplay intended dude ..controversal MEANT controversal. thanks for the feedback though ..

peace tae.

[Vaskez]

wtf @ you even coming near my skills, but your scars'll tell us
your lines are such a Phlip from perfect ..that they make Marv. jealous
^^but wording was shaky
i got em` beat. with no clue where i'm gettin' these ..here's his new slogan
when it comes to an ass whoopin, people be rippin' T's more than Hulk Hogan
^^this was basic but at least you got the wording ok

random comments:
I didn't get your first line either and I'm not tired right now so it means you worded it poorly. real player shit is played. Closer was way too indirect. Honestly dude, this verse showed a lot of potential, but aside from that one line NOTHING was really worded very crisply or hard-hitting. But your concepts are getting good. Work on wording, read some spitacular and Write verses, they are good at wording.


vs.

I just cant go easy on you, please forgive me, but u need to slumber
cuz if i took ya kindness for weak ^^^^^?, shit, ud b doing Jesus numbers
^^but wording was shaky
Now stop talkin out ya wig, when u know imma bury ya kid
tellin crew how to be more like LLL...with 5 links in a sig
^^basic but lol

same comments to you, wording wording and your concepts were a bit shakier too. Plus your lines were way too stretched in places. remember stretched = too much space between rhymes, not the number of characters on a line

v/Cry

[$pitacular]

i got em` beat. with no clue where i'm gettin' these ..here's his new slogan
when it comes to an ass whoopin, people be rippin' T's more than Hulk Hogan

vs

id help u threw the badtimes but i dont wanna drop u, locin
cuz last time ya nigga broke u out ya slump...
...u was ass naked on ya stomach....with ya legs wide open

I don't know... I wasn't really feelin this battle at all.. but I think Tae's punch was better

v/ Tae.

[Cody Nash]

^bleh wtf ..

and for those who didn't GET that first punch. his sig ..it mentions his sig, and below his name ..it says "Lay Down" ..what's not to get? lol. whatever though. personally, my best verse ever lol ..finally beat tae after 3 tries. I'm content.