abortion

['AntZ|]

there aint nothin juicier than the distortion
and the disproprtion of a half failed abortion,
of which i just ate a portion.
kinda like a miscarriage
resultin from a lousy marriage.
the large head, tiny penis and not yet formed body,
even better than young boys who still go potty.
just the taste of blood in my mouth
makes me cum in haste in the bush of my spouse.
i got some foetus left in the back,
with pieces dangling from a rack
full of diseases, freshness it lacks.
sometimes i chew on it between two buns,
its better cos i knew they were my sons.
maybe you think i act like a cannibal,
but scientist say man is just another animal.



http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=294587
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=294740

[~SILENT~]

u have to have 2 link's that om's u have left feed on . or u cnt post any om's up. ok.

[Queen_Icey]

i think that you need to work on ya strutcure and flow more improvement in that area.
this piece was tight vocab was all good in this as well and i felt that you needed to drop some stronger emotion towards the subject but what you had dropped was tight anwyas but wouldve been better with slightly more emotion in the verse.
stay up.

[Blanco.]

Decnt drop. Could have been a lot better. I liked the imagry that you had on this piece. In my opinion you could have been more creative. On your next piece work on creative and structure(try to make all or most of the lines the same lenght.

Overall: 6/10

['AntZ|]

to queen icey



are you kidding me? stronger emotion?? did you even fuckin READ this piece?? im talkin about eatin dead fuckin babies, yu sick bastard. yu tellin me im posed to have emotions when i write about being a cannibal? you suck, your just another one of em homos just freepostin. oh, so i got tight vocab, right? wow. and i gotta work on structure and flow, how many fuckin time i heazrd that? yu fake emcee.
im gonn say thanks for the drop, but im also gonna say it was useless as fuck.

[Queen_Icey]

^^^^^^ bullshit.
you dont get what im sayin at all re read what i said you on that lame shit right now you was cool at first you just dont get what im sayin.. im not sayin have emotion towards the fact that people have abortions.. i meant emotions towards how you feel about people havin emotions thats what i said needs to be stronger i didnt say be happy i meant your emotional feelins towards people who do the dumb shit and how you strongly i felt you needed to add more of that to your verse for this type of topic......

thats why i dont like this site u dont think be 4 you talk shit to some one be4 you try to understand one little ass thing.

damn my bad

['AntZ|]

aight aight, sorry man, sorry i took it out on you. i get your point now man, and i'll work better on that from now on.
i get you now, thanks for the post
peace

[Queen_Icey]

^^^^^ yeah you're welcome.....
you got too hot for a 2nd lol my bad for the misunderstanding i shouldve explained it more but its all good

[Rave]

now this is some nasty shit man, real nasty. i personally found it funny as hell though, i was laughin my ass off. i caught some multis and good rhymin and at times the flow was maybe a little rough, but it was real nice at other moments too.
this is the shit thats needed in rap man, these kidna topics are rare and its good you exploitin em.
keep it up holmes

[B.I.Detained.]

CLOSED. At least 16 lines, man.