"Always And Forever"

[Kris Stubbs]

"Always And Forever"

Babe i think of things i'd never say, but sometimes it just seems right
I think about you every day girl...and i dream about you at night
I love the feelings we make, just because we know we lovers
I love to fall asleep by your side, just lay and hold each other
The way you make me feel when i'm by your side
And how you hold me close everytime i cry
The way you give me chills that i fight inside
Its just the way you make me feel, that makes me like my life
Your the only person in this world that i'll ever need
I love you so much girl, i'd give you everything
I've never been so happy, until i put you in my life
Never had the feelings i feel, when i looked into your eyes
I'm trapped inside your love, shit..the world could be a cubicle
And i wouldn't give a damn girl, just because your so beautiful
In my dreams i remember things like how it used to be
Its been over a year now girl, and its still you and me
Up and makin love while the music beats
And in the end if i'm the one that you choose to keep
Then i'll be up and on the run...just to choose the ring
Because my love will never be fuzzy, and we'll never be strugglin
You know how much i love ya, how much i wanna be your husband
Girl every promise i've ever made...I made to keep
Because God put someone so special in my life, that was made for me
If only there were more of you in the world, you could all make it more better
But there isn't, its just you and me....Yeah, Always And Forever


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=285268

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=285278

[Kris Stubbs]

damn..i haven't got any feed yet.
does it suck that bad lol
up.

[Kris Stubbs]

rise.

[Kris Stubbs]

wtf.


FEED PLEASE

[Bone Loc]

the shit was good homie. I like ya flow keep it up

[Kris Stubbs]

^tha fuck has happened to OM.

[Plain-Thug]

nice piece homie....i like tha topic...great deal of emotion showed in this..i was feelin it all the way through..ya rhymes were good...multies were good as well.......imagery was here..so overall this was a really good and enjoyable read....keep it up....peace-

peep out my peice

[***Lady_Latin***]

I like ur piece...it's a played topic but u brought ur own style with it so that made it worth da reading time.
Ur word choice was simple but it worked 4 dis topic--overall da whole thing flo'd & was full of emotion...
As 4 elevation, I think use of internals would help ur piece cuz not only will it give it a better complexity but it will aid ur rhyme scheme & not make "simple vocab" so noticeable...
But overall, I deff like dis piece so keep postin & i'ma b lookin 4 mo ~1

[shazzzzzar]

this is a nice peice. vocab was a lil too basic - definatley could be better. flow wasnt bad, it was pretty consistent. this topic is too played - your guna have to write sumthin better than this to make it stand out more. where as if this was a topic that not many ppl write about it would be really good. im not sayin this is bad - but your guna have to drop better shit, put sum more multis and internals within the peice. your rhyme scheme was a lil basic, consider makin it more complex. also your vocabulary could be a lil better - try and use complicated words and i think you'll find that it will strengthen your whole peice immensly. but good imagery -- overall it was a nice drop. keep droppin, ill be lookin for more of your stuff

[Trema]

This piece has potential

In this piece what stood out is that you had emotion but the vocab wasn't that good.

The structure was ok, you had a good layout to your lines and your rhyme fit in with the srtucture you layed out.
Your vocab has to be upped in this piece, the emotion made up for it. You got across your message and clearly the topic. On rb some of the ish on here you dont understand it. But in your piece i understood clearly what u were saying. The vocab as i was saying-you should try to use more complex vocab when making a piece with so much emotion in the future ok. overall a decent drop.

[Kris Stubbs]

^wow..thanks for the feed from all you guys its much appreciated.
and the advice will be taken in.


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