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Thread: Living In Hell

  1. #1
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    Living In Hell

    Gasious bursts, lashes burnt crisp and ashes lurk
    fasciasts flirt, passions desert souls, and clash with hurt
    the devil's laugh echoes through the smoldering air
    cards are never lookin up always foldin ya pair
    3rd degree burns cover the better parts of ya body
    lava flows like the mississipi, producin holes like a shottie
    screams of terror, seen from error in ya life, ya end here
    past mistakes are constant nightmares, in hell they blend fear
    insanity can't withstand in me, I've moved beyond that
    now people lie on the ground screaming for help and I just yawn back
    the devils wishes granted, no hesitation, I'm a slave of hell
    it's ungodly, you get whipped for hours for behavin well
    serpents attack without a purpose, never die the hurt just stays
    wounds don't heal, hope is scarce, forever lie and hurt for days
    scortchin winds torch ya limbs, cackling emits from the shadows
    scars and sores graft the skin from all these on going battles
    and in the end consistancy succeeds and you drown in sorrow
    this never ending bought continues with another round tomorrow...
    -Play-Boy


    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...39#post3385339
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...50#post3385350

  2. #2
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    nice job, str8 wording, str8 complexity, good topic, simple but good topic, nice flow.

  3. #3
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    thanks man...good lookin on the feedback.
    -Play-Boy

  4. #4
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    werd, no doubt.

  5. #5
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    pin ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

  6. #6
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    Uppin this bitch feedback is appreciated and will be returned...

  7. #7
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    I like the first two lines of the verse then slowly it became simple and boring
    it wasn't a bad verse at all but there was nothing memorable about it. much love
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=245810 feedback please

  8. #8
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    it was iight homie, good flow
    ok vocab
    it was ez to read
    i give it a 6/10

  9. #9
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Crazt's Avatar
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    ^ dont listen to this immature piece of brat
    Civil War on tha run! Blastin deady liars//
    Me,General Grant, your stonewall ass gets blown by FRIENDLY FIRE//

  10. #10
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    Uppin for feedback...(last)^^^

  11. #11
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    Its A Little Invison Of What Does Go On In Hell But Make Us Feel It More With Less Vocaulary And More Emtion.

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