Laying Back..

[Trema]

Strictly for the realist


My shine is prone to haiters, pussies and dogs to
-by my first line i depended on, warchild destroying your whole crew
your eyes are beautiful, but chica de loco i dnt sniff lines
-take the screwdriver, your blood is my ink i use for my rhymes
time to stay fine, while your crimes are fake and fony
-i bin laying back for too long, while this rb cat rides the pony
to state your name would be to define the word wack
-whats that, another chat by you, ur vocab expresses you-
it measures you, or does it just pressure you
-to be something you cant,i'll pass you that tissue
no i wont miss u, let the tears flow..like your lips sucking my dick
-first a stitch, then i slice your intestine like spaggetti
you thretin me?, please a newb with less than 20 post
-seems like every coward wanna be what Jonny wrote
please you cant cope, nor can you step into my shoes
-you cant prove-yul end up black and blue-ma rhymes r 100per cent proof
i climb walls you cant imagine, drunk wine with aladdin,-...
...had a few shells engraved in my shoulder from packing
never lie, to lie is to announce,'i'm gay a faggot proud to be bent
-in your eyes i see content, after recieving from krayawn in his tent
i'm focused like tony when ordering troops to kill those who innocent
-but i'm distant even close up,the words up-
now brown eyes shut the fuck up

__________________________________________________ ______

As long as there is fire, i will be here to put it out- The wise one of rb

www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=244062
www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=244537

[Spul Ka Trinde]

Damn, I liked what you spit, Ya structure was a bit stretched wit a few lines but overall it was phat.

Ya opener was off the chain but I feel ya did lay back a lil bit in the center of ya verse.

Ya had good wordplay and vocab, wit come creativness as well, ya flow was on the dot and easy to stick with. I enjoyed reading it lol some parts were humerous but some were strait in you face and thas the type of songs I like.

Good everything man cant say elevate cuz I dont see nuttin you need to work on

good drop man

[warchild]

Lol pretty nice piece appreciate the shout out. I always like diss verses this might get shut down but i'll reply anyway. Your vocab is always nice but now your imagery is improving rapidly i dont know how much youve been writing but your improvement has been crazy lightly. You mixed in some good punches nothing brilliant but good none the less. You got your point across to the dude hes probably another prick who cant take it that hes wack.
Return the feed on my new OM:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=244305

[Trema]

uppin...

[Trema]

21 views and 2 replies lol, uppin this muda fucka

[noncentz]

overall impressed every one has pointed the minor loops holes you got but this was a tight read i enjoyed alot. leading peeps to one idea then throwing themm into another is a great thing to do to maintain the readers attention.your structure was solid as was vocab.

[Baron Mynd]

I started off thinking this was a love piece, lol, especially around the chico el loco part .. I had to keep reading to see it was a diss. This wasnt your typical diss piece with a typical punch every other line, and I cant say it was one of your better ones. You're a topical head, not a battler. I think this piece showed that. Lol.

I liked that line at the end about putting the fires out though.

Keep at it.

- CamZiLLa

[Trema]

lol jonny six feet said um topical aswel i dnt even fucking notice that, ayt thanks for the feed yo.

[Trema]

uppin............................................. ........

[Trema]

uppin this, over 40 views and what replies???