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Thread: A Life Sentence

  1. #1
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    A Life Sentence

    I'm sitt'in in prison,facing a life sentence,
    full of flustration,so i embrace my religion.
    Sometimes i have flackbacks and visions,
    wishing i never put my self in this position,
    a lifetime waisted for one bad decision.
    I'm locked behind bars ,land left to suffer,
    emotionally i'm scarred,cause i'm just a another number.
    They Got Me Locked in A Concrete Cage,
    To TeaCh me a lesson but it's only building my Rage.
    and i can't be Saved,it's driving me insane,
    but only myself i can blame ,for being locked in chains.
    some night i sit and stare at the ceiling,
    Contemplating death cause life ain't worth Living.
    If you living in Misery, Only time I'm feeling free
    threw my dreams and memories.
    i seem so alone cause no one visits me ,
    to brighten up my day with positve energy.
    But I'm still holding on ,the question is why,
    I proally be rotten in this cell til i die.
    I'm feeling like I'm The victim,
    Spending my life stuck in th e system.



    verse two
    The Cops Being Looking and finally they found Me,
    so now i'm locked up down in the County.
    THey Raided My House,And founded Kelos
    of cocaine stuffed down in my Couch.
    I had a trash can full of Green,
    But it was'nt Oscar the GRouch.
    It was Pounds of Sticky Hydro Buds,
    So 'im facing a Felony Possesion and Solicting Drugs.
    But Luckily This Was My First Offense,
    So on THa Defense,I'm Screamin This Ai'nt my Shit.
    yAll Motherfuckers Must Be Crazy,
    Trying To Convict and Araign Me.
    And Confine Me to an Awful PlacE,
    Where i will never get to see my childs face.
    Fuck that THe Law Can't Control me,
    So i'm a beat This Case Like Kobe.
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=241699
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=241117



    if you read this piece leave some feed back
    elevating.............................
    Battle needs Closing

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    ThaChampIsHere#1-vs-Roota


    OPEN MICS

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  2. #2
    You've Earned a Custom Title! The Vortex's Avatar
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    cool joint right here mayne... i diddnt like the fact you opened by rhyming 5 lines in a row...but still the content was good...and got sum tite ass flow....could do with a little stronger vocabulary...i can relate to it coz i bin inside not for life (obviously)
    the flow goes a bit off in the second verse..could add a few mo multies in next time

    all in all a most decent piece



    stay up yo
    .................................................. ......................

  3. #3
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    thanks for tha feed
    looking for more
    uppin
    Battle needs Closing

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    ThaChampIsHere#1-vs-Roota


    OPEN MICS

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  4. #4
    mz.blaze
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    Overall i was feelin this piece, your flow came and went though. I think tha first verse was tha best of the 2, it seemed like your lines were too short or something. I liked tha topic and how you started it off. Get at me about that collab. Peace

  5. #5
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    Overall i was feelin this piece, your flow came and went though. I think tha first verse was tha best of the 2, it seemed like your lines were too short or something.
    Werd...

    At times tha flow was a lil off i figured and u had sum nice lines in there, my fav of them......
    They Got Me Locked in A Concrete Cage,
    To TeaCh me a lesson but it's only building my Rage.
    Was a really nice topic, and wrote pretty well.. jus elevate on tha complexity and u shuld be right, nice read...keep it up

  6. #6
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    this was a little simple, not very good vocab and your imagery was what you basicly went on, no good rhymes really, i didnt like this much, not an original topic, and plus, who goes to jail, then comes back and raps on a message board, i dont really think you ever been to prison, stay real...

    not good, overall...4/10
    ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE

  7. #7
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    uppin
    this was not about me and my life
    it was about some other people that is close to me actually
    Battle needs Closing

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    ThaChampIsHere#1-vs-Roota


    OPEN MICS

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  8. #8
    K.T: The Assassin ~ladie_streetz~'s Avatar
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    this was tight but you need to work on how you write your lines also the flow of your piece was a little off but it wasnt too bad i was still feeling that. i understood what you meant through out & the emotion was strong very creative words you used & i could picture thiz shit as i read. the vocab was decent as well, just try get together with your flow just a lil bit okae
    THE FAMILY.

  9. #9
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    thanks for tha feed
    uppin and elevating
    Battle needs Closing

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    ThaChampIsHere#1-vs-Roota


    OPEN MICS

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  10. #10
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    I'd say thos was a little weak, im gonna also give this one a 4/10, just cause your lines were short and choppy, and the creativity wasn't there try looking at a few other ieces and see how they do it, cause all yo needs a little elavation and it will make a big difference.....

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  11. #11
    UGK
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    First off, I was the first nigga on this site say'n "werd". Ya know, with the 'e' instead of the 'o'. I just wanted to point this out since I'm seeing it alot. Also, good drop. I can relate. I've been there exactly. Embracin religion, yea... Right after I got out. It just seems like the thing to do. I feel ya there. Also, could use a lil bit more complexity, but there definate elevation here. Good drop. Stay up. 0ne.

  12. #12
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    thanks for the feed back
    but i'm still elevating
    i'm on this site to learn.
    Battle needs Closing

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