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Thread: Fulfilled

  1. #1
    Colby Cain
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    Fulfilled

    Our being is subject to all the chances of life. There are so many things we are capable of, that we could be or do. The possibilities are so great that we never, any of us, are more than one-fourth fulfilled.
    ~Katherine Anne Porter



    my life told as a coin toss is watever side is left un called
    my fathers loins brought da world a maniac ta rub wrong
    a son whos lungs paused............................................
    .............ta let the air inside convert ta sprung bombs.............
    my heart never pumps soft my nerves pulsate like drumed gongs
    I sung my woes till my tounge turned numb an hung off
    da bottom of my jaw like fruit off a cumquat
    sum sought out fortune in life, I only wanted one song
    never wanted da king, just ta be seen as da one pawn
    Ima ramsack dis life wit both guns drawn
    no puns dogg, all in all im seein shit like druged cons
    die'in for freedom but to addicted ta pain jus ta run off



    once the sun sets and day bleeds out inta night
    nightmares will run free under da moon and street lights
    defeat might............................................. ...........
    creep underneath my hopes and dreams wit smite
    im leanin away from sanity wit every obsene sight
    quiverin wit fear for the death of my asteemed life
    wat I breath might seem like air but its really debrised minds
    ..................sum would feel i dont think right.....................
    .........but im really just a product of diseased times..........
    so wat u think is me bein nice, is really jus time freezin twice
    my words leave a taste in ya mouth like seasonin spice
    my rhymes have been deemed nice, so if ya aint feelin em, bye

  2. #2

  3. #3
    Colby Cain
    Guest
    uppin for feed back

  4. #4
    Colby Cain
    Guest
    come on yall get in here and stop fuckin sleepin

  5. #5
    You've Earned a Custom Title! The Vortex's Avatar
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    Nov 2004
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    a couple of nice punches in the first
    i like the way the second verse flowed with a neat rhyme scheme.. although it ghoes a little over-rhymed on one sound for my liking.. i dont like the second to last line but the closer helped it thru
    i'd say maybe up the multie quality a little.. and try expand on your rhyming capacity.

    pz stay up

    check my joint right here seen

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=210070
    .................................................. ......................

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