°o.O Twisted Fate O.o°

[Adio]

Twisted Fate

Silently preying patiently on the wakeing dead
It waits for the perfect moment to make or break
You can't breach its sympathy for it is merciless
This essence is as inevitable as the rising sun

All efforts are fruitless, there is no escaping
Theres no fleeting from the twists of its nature
Try and foil its plan and you're only feeding it
Summon all reason in the world only to be foiled

Once it strikes, it chokes the truth out of you
It will blind you of meaning, and all you have
to say is "weird" never to make that connection
Never to realize that you are only a mere puppet

You are a marionette in fate's dilligent fingers
As he carries you place to place you're battered
crumbling apart from each wall he throws you in
You become time-worn, dull, and obsolete to him

Your strings are cut. Your remains are left in a box.

[Adio]

There, satisfied..... .

[Adio]

If anyone wants to leave some feed I will rtf....

[00]

Perfect and the truth

Please leave better feedback in the future. These
types of replies are frowned upon in Poetic Scriptures
Thank you.

-Mantra

[Adio]

Thanks for the feed mate .

[DthsMissingAngel]

Interesting topic, yet true. I like your perspective on how fate has that twisted ending. There was a good amount of imagery and the emotion was noticable. It seemed as if most of it were anger, but that is just what I got out of it. Structure was good, and the flow was perfect. Overall, I liked it. Keep up.

[Vessile]

nice drop, I'm feelin the way it kinda makes you feel stuck. Like a quicksand of fate...the more you squirm the more it has you...don't really know much bout structure to comment on it I just read.....keep doing ya thang...bless.

[shawty"B"]

I like this piece. You did a good job. I like how you take the same thought that so many people think (how we are stuck here with fate deciding your life) and you portray people as puppets. thats actually very clever. Your flow seemed kind of off at points like you forced a few of thw words a little more than you needed too but hey, i understand that kind of mistake, it happens. The last line I think was a nice way to end the poem... by commenting on where the rest of eternity is for you... But overall, you did a good job with tis poem.

........fav part.........

It will blind you of meaning, and all you have
to say is "weird" never to make that connection
Never to realize that you are only a mere puppet


keep droppin

Can you please reply to my piece
"Restless In My Sleep"



....bless

~*UnO*~

[Adio]

thanks all for the inputs..... appreciated .