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Thread: Modern Martial Arts

  1. #1
    Banned Dios de Hip Hop's Avatar
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    Modern Martial Arts

    Modern Martial Arts
    hold a fist up for that kid who took a few hits
    this is his ballad hell this is his broken wrist
    this is his broken nose
    . . . . . . . . .when it soaked up in his clothes
    and he smiled a big ass smile
    . . . . . . . . for the pain would help him grow
    God knows this kid found so much joy
    using this equation he was happy from a boy
    every body shot and slap
    built a shotty rock of mass
    but the blood had built to clots
    the limestone into tracks
    and they never understood
    he was the only one to smile
    while his face was beat prefusly
    when she'd say "hes just a child"
    on that day he peeped a man
    his sister never need understand
    why his mother never felt a hand
    why he never ever feared
    for that day would be damn clear
    when he would teach his father dear
    what he had learned from his drunk ass, all those 17 years


    done for a league and for my father.

  2. #2

  3. #3
    The True Psycho of RB
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    This was a decent verse, the structure was ok the vocab and flow were average but the subject was close to you so the rhymes were personal.
    Overall a decent drop make your verses a bit longer and you'll get more feedback.

    Return the favour.
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=172018

  4. #4
    You've Earned a Custom Title! The Vortex's Avatar
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    mostly i'd agree with above.. Decent being the first thought that comes to mind


    i like it tho iz coo sr8

  5. #5
    Na~Ledge
    Guest
    Anytime you write about something thats important to you, you have the potential to come up with a good piece. I think your vocab was a little average but I think you on the right track Decent verse.

    Return the favor check out one of my peices: Triple Homicide or Dear Social Services Worker. Holla

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