jokes

[The Drifter]

A stoner walks into a 7-11 and asks the clerk, "Got any weed?"
The clerk responds, "Hell no, you damn stoner."
The next day the stoner returns he asks the clerk, "Got any weed?"
The clerk outraged, smashes the stoners head on the counter and says, "Look you stoner, if you come in here and ask if I got weed one more time I will nail your feet to the floor."
So.. the next the day the stoner walks in and asks the clerk, "Got any nails?"
The clerk says, "No."
So the stoner asks, "Got any weed?"


A girl asks her dad "Why am I called Rose?"
The father replies "Because a rose petal fell on your head when you were born"
Then her sister asks "Why am I called Lilly?"
The father replies "Because a lilly petal fell on your head when you were born"
Her brother says "ERTGTHREGERG£$%£$^£EGRD"
The father replies "Shut up cupboard."

Q: How does a blind skydiver know he is about to hit the ground?
A: He feels slack in the leash.

Q: What's the difference between a woman and a refrigerator?
A: A refrigerator doesn't moan when you put meat in it.

Q: What is white, red, and can't turn around in corners?
A: A baby with a javelin through its head.

[nolonger]

lol............not bad man..............

[Hail the Vibe]

I heard the cupboard one, but the one I heard was 'Shut up Cinderblock!'.

Lmao. Some funny shit.

[Jonezy]

First-year students at Medical School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, "In medicine, it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body".

As an example, the professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the anal cavity of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck it in his mouth. "Go ahead and do the same thing", he told his students.

The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the bottom of the dead body and sucking on it. When everyone finished, the professor looked at the students and told them, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention".

[Jonezy]

Hung Chow call his boss and says: “Hey, boss I not come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomach ache, legs hurt, I not come work.”

The boss says: “Hung Chow I really need you today. When I feel sick like this I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That makes me feel better and I can go to work. You should try that.”

Two hours later Hung Chow calls again: “Boss, I do what you say and I feel great, I be at work soon. You got nice house.”

[The Drifter]

Rofl.. both dope.

[Hail the Vibe]

LMAO! Both of PJ's jokes are hilarious. I really like the first one. Had me rolling!

Nice ones!

[Brother Blue Collar]

what happened when mary took joesph to court??????????????









































































































































































































































































































































God said let there be alimony

[Emulated]

^^No beef...its jus because u posted before me.


One day Urban Reelist's computer caught a virus so he called Barz Bury to come to his house so he could fix it up. They spent the whole day doing everything they could to fix it, and finally they did. When they turned the computer back on, Barz told Urban that he needed to put in a password for his username. Laughing, Urban typed in "My Dick." Then he looked at the screen and started crying, Barz asked whats wrong, then looked at the screen and bursted out laughing. The screen read "Password Invalid: Too Short."
ahahahahah, im too funny....

[Seth Law]

a sick joke but i hope you get it..........................

what do jacko and whiskey have in common???????

they both cum in tots

[Endeva.]

^^i get it, but there are way too many jacko jokes... played.. so played they aint even funny no more

[Brother Blue Collar]

^^No beef...its jus because u posted before me.


One day Urban Reelist's computer caught a virus so he called Barz Bury to come to his house so he could fix it up. They spent the whole day doing everything they could to fix it, and finally they did. When they turned the computer back on, Barz told Urban that he needed to put in a password for his username. Laughing, Urban typed in "My Dick." Then he looked at the screen and started crying, Barz asked whats wrong, then looked at the screen and bursted out laughing. The screen read "Password Invalid: Too Short."
ahahahahah, im too funny....

not funny and i'm not saying that cuz you used my name

[Emulated]

^^ur sayin it cuz of ur twilight zone thread...

[Brother Blue Collar]

^^ur sayin it cuz of ur twilight zone thread...

eehhh.... i give it a 6/10 better than ya last joke

[Hybrid]

this thread was done before but anyway

knock - knock

who's there?

sdizzle

sdizzle who?


-exactly.