Rage

[Pseudonym]

this is for a topical battle, but thought id get some feed over here, seeing how slow FL is...



Call it what you will, fume, fury, frenzy, or rage
In this day in age it’s escaped the realms of the cage
Every turn of the page, its brutal meaning is seen
Deeming the innocent guilty with its wrathful harem
Like a ruptured spleen, it erupts inflicting pain
Sometimes unprovoked from a mind that’s insane
Its domain’s deep inside, yes, it hides in the brain
Holding no shame, with uncontrollable power
At best it’s only words, at worst it will devour
& Shower hurt to whatever its facing at the time
It has no morals, & it crosses the line into crime
Rhyming off atrocities, then fast as it came, it goes
& The bearer is remorseful, wondering how it arose
At how he can go from composed to that man
It’s a Jeckle and Hyde situation, totally unplanned
As hes put on remand, he demands to know why?
The officer says “your wife’s in hospital and might die”
He starts to cry, unable to remember the event
That day in December, they found him hanging…
…with a note of repent



http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=136326
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...827post1526827

[Mistral]

Pretty nice piece here man....Vocab was great i thought, you didnt over do it, some people do that and it just ruins the piece, but you kept it where it needs to be, props on that man...flow was pretty solid in this, it flowed fine for me...structure was another good thing about this piece, the way you structured it helped out the flow so much...Had multies through out the piece, which i liked...I like multies haha...but yeah man this was a nice piece, i enjoyed the read, Will be looking out for other pieces of yours, first i read of yours glad i did, it was worth it.

[Pseudonym]

thnx credz... its all good

[K cypha]

don't bite my ideas lol

[Tha Phoenix]

Yeah its an okay peice. But your flow was off in certain places, some lines were too streched, not played, but streched. Its a good peice though, keep elevating

[Tha Phoenix]

Yeah its an okay peice. But your flow was off in certain places, some lines were too streched, not played, but streched. Its a good peice though, keep elevating

[Tha Phoenix]

Yeah its an okay peice. But your flow was off in certain places, some lines were too streched, not played, but streched. Its a good peice though, keep elevating

[Pseudonym]

@ keep elevating... lol
.. this was keyd up... and you have no clue who i am

... but thnx for reading, and for posting your reply 3 times... ha

[Pseudonym]

don't bite my ideas lol

and how am i biting your idea?.. noob

..this was a topical battle, and i didnt choose the topic...